tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33227282024-03-14T12:50:43.546-05:00Sleep DirtIt's ok, I'm with the band.Hexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08075361498418228218noreply@blogger.comBlogger1317125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3322728.post-28579227035334751872021-01-27T11:42:00.005-05:002021-01-27T17:05:15.037-05:00Tuck in Your Shirt<span style="text-align: left;">Of all the people I've worked with at my current job, the last people I thought they would ever fire were Dave and Mike.</span><div><br /></div><div>It's a familiar story, perhaps. What started as a family company has endured and is now ripping at the seams to be more of a corporation. What was once, "make it work" is now being demanded to "standardize a process." It means push and pull between old guard and new, a need to evolve flexibility into repeatability. It's never easy, it's never clean, and once you reach a certain point - it's never anything but inevitable.</div><div><br /></div><div>I don't think it's necessarily the worst thing in the world. Quality matters. </div><div><br /></div><div>Unfortunately, the cost is usually people. </div><div><br /></div><div>The gurus. The magicians. The "we're coming to you because we're stuck, and everyone says you're the guy that can help us."</div><div><br /></div><div>Trouble is, wizards and magicians are slow. Potions and incantations take time. Creativity. Duct tape can fix a lot of things, but whether we like it or not -- after a while everything starts to look like a patch.</div><div><br /></div><div>Standardizing and consolidating ideas isn't the worst idea in the world. Half the time the edge that a guru provides is access to information. Technology and innovation can streamline, even automate something like that if the structures are understood. And it can do it faster, more reliably, and use it to trend, identify, and improve. </div><div><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://64.media.tumblr.com/e9edaebd2e0629365167954db64172a2/93a9e9c995cb50ef-5a/s500x750/4c397e72f86fab71878d65b71db1176703489859.gifv" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="208" data-original-width="500" src="https://64.media.tumblr.com/e9edaebd2e0629365167954db64172a2/93a9e9c995cb50ef-5a/s500x750/4c397e72f86fab71878d65b71db1176703489859.gifv" /></a></div><br /><div><br /></div><div>Or to put it another way, I get that not everybody can start a fire in substandard conditions. But it's kinda hard to argue with lightbulbs.</div><div><br /></div><div>But before we start bemoaning the death of craft, let's remember what we're talking about here. Corporations. Companies. Profit. </div><div><br /></div><div>What you really need are magicians who recognize the need for process standardization. People who have lived in the gaps long enough to get them, but are also forward-thinking enough to be able to conceptualize the best way to build a bridge over them. People who are good at meetings, and want to go to training seminars to discover new opportunities for partnership with tech guys who can connect the dots.</div><div><br /></div><div>I'm generally not that guy.</div><div><br /></div><div>Not because I can't envision it, or see the need. More like I have found a space where I feel like I function best like a firefighter. I can adjust to change, but just let me know when it's ready - I've got too much stuff on my plate for anything else right now.</div><div><br /></div><div>But Dave and Mike were. Or they had a knack for presenting themselves as such. But more than that, they were also "made" guys, if that makes sense. They volunteered for things, led teams. Top floor guys would come to them directly. They were equal parts "rah-rah" and "things need to change around here" and they made it all work. </div><div><br /></div><div>Where I was happy to be in the shadows casting incantations and pulling rabbits out of hats for project teams, they were in front suggesting new ideas and practices. There were new software programs, new processes, they had us in meetings a lot. Execs loved it. Potential was noticed. Processes were envisioned.</div><div><br /></div><div>Projects have a way of snapping you back, though. </div><div><br /></div><div>Dave and Mike were leaders on a hell project. It went bad, the way hell projects do. It frustrated them more than anyone because they knew what was needed - but future states can only get you so far. So they did what you do, they got out the duct tape. </div><div><br /></div><div>Project got done. Dave and Mike got fired. </div><div><br /></div><div>From the outside looking in, it seemed they took the fall for how messy it got. How unexpectedly chaotic the process turned out to be. Not for using duct tape, but for letting things get to a place where they had to. </div><div><br /></div><div>I wasn't on that project. </div><div><br /></div><div>Usually, my stuff is more chaotic by nature. Smaller scale, faster timelines. But this latest thing I'm on. This thing that's gone bad? The one where they keep saying we should have stuff, but we don't really have stuff? </div><div><br /></div>
<blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><div>I never thought they would ever fire guys like Dave and Mike.</div><div>I never thought people would think of me as a guy like Dave or Mike.</div></blockquote><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div> ..I'm worried.</div><div><div><br /></div><div><div>
<div align="right"><div class="media">[Now Playing: <span style="color: #ffe599;">Alpha Wolf </span>- <em><span style="color: #ffe599;">"Akudama"</span></em> ]</div></div></div></div></div>Hexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08075361498418228218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3322728.post-10351758264184151362018-01-23T16:31:00.000-05:002019-09-22T11:07:05.106-05:00Lingonberry Pancakes<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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A number of years back I took the plunge and bought my first Fitbit. It was that big bulky bracelet version with the band that would wear out every few months, but I couldn't wait to get my hands on it. Partially out of a desire to lose weight, but maybe even more because of that "new toy" factor that I think all marketers bake into the presentation of the kinds of gadgets and stuff designed to work its way into your life and help make it more convenient.<br />
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I haven't taken the dive on Alexa or Google Home yet, but there is no doubt that those things look goddamn cool.<br />
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Yes --Tony Stark's Iron Man suit fights crime and saves the world, but I think the thing we all really take away from those movies is a burning desire to have our own snarky yet unquestionably obedient AI who will literally do and build <i>anything </i>you might need based on casual conversations you have with them while you're walking around your apartment.<br />
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Unfortunately, from what I can tell -- the reality is far more humbling and simplistic.<br />
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I have an XBox One in my place, and one of the features of that overpriced toy is that it will respond to voice commands. I can tell it to watch TV and it will dutifully switch on the local cable feed I have wired into it -- but <i>literally anything else you want it to do for you </i>is a comedy act that usually involves me and my son standing two feet in front of the thing, repeating over and over the name of whatever application or web search we want it to do while the little circle icon in the corner just spins idly by doing nothing.<br />
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Maybe the new home assistant software toys work better, who knows -- but the actual practicality of such technology doesn't seem all that useful. More than anything, it seems like the main selling point of those things is finding out how much fun it would be to have something in your house to talk with that actually talks <i>back</i>.<br />
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All of these gadgets and wearables are a part of what they call "The Internet of Things." This collection of smart devices that help gather and extrapolate data in ways you can use. At its utopian best -- it bridges the speed of the internet and analytic power of modern computing into a consumer use package that will make you a more informed consumer, a smarter shopper, a more streamlined traveler, exerciser, or whatever.<br />
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But I think we all know what the problem is here. You can have the smartest, most streamlined technology in the world -- but if your plan is to match that with a userbase made up of <i>regular douchebags </i>like you or me based on a training model of "Isn't this <i>cool?</i> Now try asking it what the weather is like!" -- then you're really only going to be able to advance so far.<br />
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The reason I bring this up is that I have this new app on my phone that I've been really getting into lately that's helped me do things that I honestly never thought I was savvy or smart enough to do. It's called <a href="https://get.stashinvest.com/jack62ide" target="_blank">Stash</a> -- and it's essentially a simplified investment app that eases you into the idea of building a portfolio of exchange-traded funds.<br />
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I've been devoted for many years to <a href="http://mint.com/" target="_blank">Mint.com</a> as a way to manage my finances -- but even as I began putting money into a 401k through a benefit plan at my job several years back, I was still convinced that any kind of actual investing in the stock market was a suckers game that I was nowhere near smart enough to mess with.<br />
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Still, Mint kept suggesting it to me as a savings tool (almost as if it had been watching my financial progress for several years and was desperately trying to convince me that I needed <u>serious</u> help if I was going to be able to survive), and I eventually got curious enough to give it a try. Since the startup cost was only $5 -- I figured I'd at least see what it had to offer.<br />
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Now here we are a few months later and I check the app 5-10 times a day.<br />
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For those of you who have one, remember that first few days with a Fitbit where you would obsess over your numbers and tap at the thing on your wrist constantly to see how many steps you could get from typing? That whizbang first month where you'd realize you hadn't quite hit your daily goal yet so you'd pace around your house, swinging your arms wildly in the hopes of getting to 10,000 steps faster?<br />
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That's where I'm currently at with this thing.<br />
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I'm not trying to sell you on it (I know this is starting to sound extra click-baity), but the experience for me has been pretty fascinating. Just putting a little money in it now and then and picking different funds to invest it in -- and then just watching the pennies add up.<br />
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Really, even though it's an investing app -- it seems the best way to use it is like a high-interest savings account, where your best strategy is mostly leaving it alone and letting the returns come in -- but the nerds who designed it made the app just interactive enough that it kicks your dopamine receptors every time you refresh it.<br />
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The numbers (and the risk) are nowhere as insane as bitcoin or any of that nonsense -- but it's the same sort of appeal.<br />
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So much so that there are even Facebook groups dedicated to it with people posting all hours of the day about how to get the most value from the thing. For the most part, it's been a really helpful resource to call upon, because among all the newbies like me are a handful people with real market experience who have poured big money into it who try to help the rest of us understand how all of this stuff is supposed to work.<br />
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But like any online community (especially on Facebook), we are easily swayed by shiny objects -- and right now this particular group is starting to divide itself up into arguing factions ready to verbally tear each other's throats out over one topic in particular.<br />
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The Weed ETF.<br />
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All anyone can ever talk about on the forums and the group posts anymore is "Where is the Corporate Cannabis fund?" and "When will the Cannabis Fund be available?" This morning there was even a meme complaining about it. The thing hasn't even officially arrived yet and we're <i>already </i>in backlash mode.<br />
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Basically with the rise of legalized medical marijuana and the various places where recreational use has been decriminalized, businesses have cropped up to answer the sizable demand. And with business success comes incorporation, and with incorporation comes investment -- so apparently any day now we'll be able to diversify our portfolios with all the skunky nug business they can handle.<br />
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Which, great -- sounds like a cool way to get in on a growth (see what I did there) industry as it slowly legalizes across the country.<br />
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But maaaan, do these two worlds <i>not </i>mix well in social media conversation.<br />
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Because while there are a few people who seem to be looking at these stocks from a purely business perspective (by all reports the actual fund is doing well), the vast majority of the other people who are incessantly posting in our online amateur investing forum about <i>all the weed </i>they are gonna buy are clearly looking at it in a completely different way.<br />
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I've said it a lot of times before -- <a href="http://hexacorde.blogspot.com/2007/02/open-letter-to-crx-nation.html" target="_blank">the fact that marijuana is still illegal in large sections of this country is stupid</a>. Every time Jeff Sessions gets behind a podium and talks about pot as if it's a criminal scourge that threatens the safety of the entire world I think even the most batshit of right-wingers can't help but throw him a sideeye. It's 2018 -- you'd like to think the world is a little more open-minded now.<br />
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That being said, I'm not really sure we're ready for legalized pot businesses to become the next McDonalds.<br />
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Which is probably why it seems so strange to think about it being invested in and traded on the stock market. Which is a weird thing to say -- these are businesses like any other, and it's not like I really get all worked up about any of the other evil corporations I've surely been investing in with this app.<br />
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Maybe when you get right down to it -- there's not really an issue at all, and it's just <i>me </i>who can't get comfortable. I mean, I actually stayed away from investing for years because I was afraid of what might happen to my money. It's a complicated world and I always kinda felt like it was as little too highbrow for me to get.<br />
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I guess the difference is in the conversations that are being had around it. In <i>the way </i>that people choose to talk about being excited about investing with a stock fund based around corporate cannabis companies that just sticks out in contrast to how they talk about investing in clean energy or telecoms.<br />
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Seriously, how many puns can people make about adding weed to their <a href="https://get.stashinvest.com/jack62ide" target="_blank">Stash</a>?<br />
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[Now Playing: <span style="color: blue;">Paul Simon </span>- <em><span style="color: blue;">"50 Ways to Leave Your Lover"</span></em> ]</div>
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<br />Hexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08075361498418228218noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3322728.post-74447765701665887152018-01-18T14:44:00.000-05:002018-01-22T17:02:49.575-05:00Oatmeal<br />
Routine is the trap.<br />
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One of the most frustrating challenges of adulthood is finding a way to make things work regularly. Financially, emotionally, logistically -- if you want to avoid major stresses or financial problems or whatever it seems like a smart idea to identify and adhere to some sort of "system" that enables your day to happen.<br />
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Wake up at this time. Do these things to get ready for the day. Leave the house by this time to avoid traffic. Dig through your emails when you first get in to make sure nothing's an emergency. Tackle projects in order of due date and difficulty. Take breaks and try to get up and stretch your legs during the day. Try to leave by this time in order to avoid traffic. Get dinner done before a certain time so there's extra time for homework help. Get to bed by this time so you can at least to try to get enough sleep. Lather. Rinse. Repeat.<br />
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Hard routines for the weekdays, general guidelines for the weekends.<br />
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Especially with kids, if you can get into a rhythm, it helps make things easier. Keep things too loose and it becomes a fight just to get them motivated. But the simple fact is that there's a razor's edge between a working routine and a getting into a rut. To get into a place where you feel like the days are just burning by and all you're really doing is finding a way to get through them.<br />
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Sometimes that's good. Maybe you're recovering from a health problem, or you're trying to fix a problem. Kids grades are slipping -- make time for more homework help and make sure he gets enough sleep. Fewer video games and TV.<br />
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Structure. Process. Discipline.<br />
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I don't know if this is just me, or a function of the fact that my kid is old enough that a lot of the routines we've worked to build he's fairly ingrained with -- but lately I find myself with a lot of nights where I think to myself, "I could be doing a lot more with my time."<br />
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If I didn't have to do <i>this,</i> I could dedicate more time to <i>that. </i><br />
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And it's not that I lament the time put in parenting. Not at all. My son is the reason for everything.<br />
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But I want <i>balance.</i> <br />
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I have ambitions. I have desires.I <i>really </i>want to play music on stages again. I'm super happy that I'm writing again, but finding/making time for it has proven challenging.<br />
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At the beginning of the year when I went back to work after the holidays, things were kinda dead. Work hadn't quite kicked back in yet -- so I found myself with lots of free time. I had room to scrub off the rust, work through drafts.<br />
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But by the middle of last week, my schedule had filled back up. Deadlines were stacked again. Expecting this to happen, I had resolved to start writing at night so that I wouldn't lose the momentum I had gotten going. But then I'd fight traffic to go home, make dinner, help with homework and junk, and then try to get a little time winding down before getting everybody to bed so we could wake up and get out the door on time, and the next thing you know -- time to write seemed scant.<br />
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If I didn't already have a new idea to work through, finding one seemed like just one more thing to do in a week that felt overfilled already.<br />
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But then I saw <a href="https://twitter.com/JamesGunn/status/952354924649525248" target="_blank">a conversation crop up on Twitter between movie directors James Gunn and Joe Carnahan</a>. A fan had asked Gunn about how he deals with writer's block and Gunn had a blunt, yet perfect response.<br />
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Of course, if you've looked you can tell that I haven't updated the blog in a few days. Work got busy, and even though I had wanted to do my writing at night, the last week I'd just come home tired.<br />
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I'd hit all the big milestones in my routine with dinner, homework, and bedtimes. The laundry got folded and the dishes got done -- but especially after my health issues last year, when I get tired anymore it really hits me hard.<br />
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If I oversleep, the whole routine gets scattered. Kid gets to school late, maybe even dozes off in class. Can't have that.<br />
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Something's gotta take the hit.<br />
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I mean, it's not like I'm honor-bound to update this site every single day. But at the same time missing one day easily turns into missing two -- then work gets busy, and then it's been a week, and then the next thing you know we're right back in a drought and I don't think about at all until the next big holiday break when I'm bored at work and get the itch to fill the day with writing again.<br />
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Routines have to be flexible.<br />
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Every time I've tried to dive into a diet or whatever to lose weight, one of the things that always ends up killing it for me is the lack of variety of the foods. On the one hand, I need to break bad habits, so it only makes sense to bring oatmeal to work instead of grabbing a donut or whatever on the way in.<br />
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Those daily stops were killing me, but as anyone knows you get a few weeks in on eating only oatmeal, or salad, or whatever -- and you'd pretty much <i>kill </i>for a fucking donut.<br />
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And while passing those challenges is what makes or breaks any diet or effort at self-improvement, they're also in my experience what tends to kill it.<br />
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Let's say eating this mush helps me drop 20 pounds. Does that mean I can finally stop eating it?<br />
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I think we both know that answer is no.<br />
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I don't know -- maybe this middle-aged corporate job divorced dad existence and the routines that I've developed around it to keep it going smoothly are simply antithetical to the spontaneity and second life as a gigging musician that I really crave. Maybe there isn't enough room or energy in my day anymore to balance all of this stuff like I used to.<br />
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But I still want there to be. It's not like I've lost the spark, or forgotten the desire.<br />
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I'm just feeling a little stuck in the trap right now -- and I need to find a way out.<br />
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<br />Hexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08075361498418228218noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3322728.post-21867314946887772082018-01-16T11:41:00.000-05:002018-01-16T18:44:00.639-05:00Little Big Town<br />
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I live in a town named Jacksonville, Florida. You've probably heard of it.<br />
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We have an NFL team, they're doing <a href="https://deadspin.com/goddamn-the-jacksonville-jaguars-are-going-to-the-afc-1822072850" target="_blank">pretty good</a> this year. It's actually the largest city in the country in terms of land area -- but a lot of that space is taken up by the river. Still, when you see a map of the state we're one of the bigger dots. Not as big as Miami, or Tampa, mind you -- but certainly no backwater burg.<br />
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Sometimes though, this is a really <i>little </i>town.<br />
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Don't get me wrong -- there are really good people here. The weather's nice, the cost of living is low, and you can always get to a beach. It's got a checkered history like any other town in the south -- but for the most part, people try to get along. I've lived here a lot of years, and I have my share of complaints about it, but when all is said and done this place has become a home of sorts -- warts and all.<br />
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But if there's one thing that I can say for Jacksonville, it's that a large part of the town's character seems to be wrapped up in an almost unwritten desire by people here to maintain a certain pace. What I mean by that is, whenever there is talk about changing the character of the culture or like, talk of adding new industries to the economy -- you can almost feel the resistance to it rising up around you.<br />
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It's not a small town mentality -- folks in this town don't want to keep new technology or modern advances out, nothing like that. But at the same time, you'll find it hard in this town to jump people ahead of where they currently are. The city seems to react best to <i>gradual </i>changes -- even keels that slowly climb up a gentle incline. Yeah, we want fast internet, Uber, and Starbucks -- but if you have an electric car you better make sure you plugged it in all night before you go driving around because there's hardly anywhere to charge them.<br />
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But more than that -- what you start to notice with this town after a while is that people don't seem very comfortable in this city with the idea of integrating their existences into <i>a central experience.</i><br />
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When you go to NYC or Atlanta -- people in those areas can be really spread out. These are big metropolises surrounded by suburbs and outlier communities, but you never hear people from there talk about themselves as they live from somewhere else. Even if you live in an outer borough, what happens in the city happens to you.<br />
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Jacksonville's not like that. The people at the beaches keep to themselves. Folks actively make excuses about why they won't go downtown. People largely stay close to home when they go out to shop or eat. We don't have active or effective public transit, so people aren't forced to mix with each other as part of their daily routines the way they are in say New York or Chicago.<br />
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We're almost conditioned here to think in terms of neighborhoods and boundaries.<br />
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And I don't think it's by accident either. One thing that's easily traceable about this town is that for many, many generations some of the most influential people in this town have come from longstanding successful businesses -- oil, real estate, retail. And one of the ways that they've been able to maintain those successes is by largely blocking or impeding the growth of outside competitors. Something you'll notice if you drive around the town is that there are a lot of the same kinds of grocery stores, sometimes within very short distances of each other. People here like to talk a lot about "Our Publix" or "The <i>good </i>Target."<br />
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There's really only a few different kinds of gas stations here. Only so many homebuilders. There are lots of hotels, banks, and gyms to be found -- but the variety of brands is noticeably small. When something new does come along, it comes in a wave -- almost like someone new has been added to the "secret club." Where once were a bunch of chevron stations, now suddenly there are a bunch of 7-11s.<br />
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The reason I bring all of this up isn't really to trash the city -- although it certainly might sound that way. I bet a lot of towns are like this. But there's an odd side effect that comes along with this sort of protectionist economic thinking that seems to permeate this town --<br />
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When something new does finally come here, people <i>get fascinated by it.</i><br />
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It's as if we are all cavemen sitting around in the cold when suddenly the monolith from <i>2001: A Space Oddessy</i> suddenly appears and then we all start freaking out. Except that in this case, the monolith is an IKEA.<br />
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It's sort of hard to explain this to folks who live in bigger towns where you might consider your local IKEA something of an eyesore or an annoyance. But we've never had one here. And it's not like people in this town were clamoring for more cheap prefab furniture or there was some dire need for this particular business to set up shop -- it just sort of showed up one day.<br />
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Or more specifically, talk about the new IKEA they were building started to show up. It took forever to build the thing, but once they found out what that empty lot of land was going to be, people got really excited about it. The site of the store happens to be fairly close to my son's school so I would drive by the lot every morning after I dropped him off on my way to work. And I'll admit -- it was hard not to be curious.<br />
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First off the store was <i>huge</i>. As it slowly took shape and began to look like an actual building it was hard not to be sort of awed by just how expansive it was. We have our share of malls and shopping centers, but this was something else entirely. Even the sign they built to rise up over the nearby interstate seemed unnecessarily large.<br />
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Even so, as the date of the grand opening started to close in -- I wasn't really all that invested. I didn't feel the need to buy much new furniture or whatever, so aside from the curiosity of experiencing something I had never seen before -- there wasn't much pull to go.<br />
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But maaan, was I alone in that thinking.<br />
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A few days before the opening I was driving by it on my way to work and noticed a lot of cops near the parking lot entrances. And road signs started cropping up talking about parking passes and reservation numbers. Over the next few days you started noticing that there was a line of tents near the door. People <i>camped out</i> for the opening.<br />
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Apparently there was some sort of raffle or giveaway for the first few customers in the door, so I guess it paid to stake your claim -- but these tents were there like a week or so before the doors opened. People were literally tailgating this thing.<br />
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A few of my musician buddies started talking about how they had been called to play the opening as a paying gig. And as the day got closer and closer, you started to see an actual line. For an IKEA. When it finally did open up there were all these Facebook posts from people tagging themselves there. It was a thing to do that weekend. And for like a week or so after.<br />
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And I know this makes us sound like rubes. But it's a thing around here. A new store opens, and people go just to see what it's like. I remember when they opened the (only) Apple store here -- people took their kids to it like it was a zoo. They redid one of the grocery stores in my neighborhood to modernize it, and there were crews from the local nightly news reporting on it.<br />
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On the one hand, it's kind of embarrassing. We live in the internet age. This isn't some M. Night Shyamalan movie -- we're a modern city with running water and indoor goddamn plumbing. The fact that a potential social hang could center around the fact that we finally got WaWas and Red Robin here makes it sound like all Trump had to do to win this district was to jiggle a shiny set of keys in front of us.<br />
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And maybe that is a big part of it -- this desire to be able to offer clear evidence of your city's modernity.<br />
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Because to be completely honest with you -- when I started seeing these recognizable names on signs by the roadside, there was this sort of sense relief that maybe, <i>finally </i>this town had decided to take the leap and join the rest of the world.<br />
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Sure we'd be joining that world in becoming jaded and dismissive of how crappy these omnipresent national chain stores are -- but at least we wouldn't living in the same city where people honestly wonder why everyone keeps calling Outback Steakhouse a crappy place to eat.<br />
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I finally visitied that IKEA last weekend.<br />
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My son and I walked around the store, made jokes at the weird names they gave everything and wondered why it took such a big warehouse just to show off that many tiny couches. It was a fun distraction, but once we were out of there nothing felt really all that different. Sure there was cool stuff in there (who couldn't use a few more bookshelves) -- but most of it seemed like it was aimed at college dorm living or for people who were just starting out in their first apartment.<br />
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Almost like if you wanted to truly embrace the value of their stuff, you'd have to buy a whole bunch of it and let it all coordinate together. Kinda rewire your thinking from the ways you furnished and organized your living spaces -- get rid of all this bulky junk you have now. Maybe that's the business strategy -- everything individually seems pretty affordable, but it's only really effective if you buy a ton of it.<br />
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Which we didn't do.<br />
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In the end, I experienced IKEA the way I suspect a lot of people in this town did. <i>As a tourist. G</i>awking at everything like a country mouse wandering around Times Square in Manhattan wondering how all the big city mice can stand all this noise and flashing lights -- only to find out that all the people who <i>do </i>live in that town think it's an eyesore and wouldn't be caught dead there unless they absolutely had to.<br />
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It was all at once an exciting experience and a harsh mirror back on just how small this town really is.<br />
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I bet it closes within a year.<br />
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<br />Hexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08075361498418228218noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3322728.post-42986284906450948232018-01-14T18:46:00.000-05:002018-01-14T22:23:12.272-05:00Trompe L'Oeil<br />
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There's an old story you'll sometimes hear in art history or painting classes about a contest that was held between two renowned Greek painters, Zeuxis and Parrhasius. The story goes that a challenge was laid down to see who could create the most realistic painting. In the story, it was said that Zeuxis created a still life so detailed that birds would try to fly down and eat the grapes he had painted. Worried about the competition, Parrhasius asked Zeuxis to see the painting he had done that was behind a pair of tattered curtains to see how it measured up. Feeling his painting was better, Zeuxis gladly accepted the challenge and reached to pull back the curtains so he could see what he was up against -- only to find that the curtains were part of his rivals painting -- making Parrhasius the winner.<br />
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You'd think in our ever-advancing digital world we might lose our ability to appreciate the art of the past, but I kinda think it's the opposite. As we become more and more capable of instantly and damn near perfectly recreating images, textures, behavior, and perhaps even intelligence digitally -- the more impressive the feats of artistic masters becomes.<br />
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To be able to reproduce the tricks of light and shadow, the curves of the body, and even the moods and impressions created in the slightest look in the eyes of their subjects is a skillset that more than ever seems to border on the magical.<br />
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And while realism isn't the only thing that matters in painting or sculpture, it is I think something that humans gravitate towards the easiest when looking to appreciate works of fine art.<br />
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Perhaps the reason is that people really like seeing themselves represented in art -- or at least feel the work they are experiencing reflecting something back that they can identify with. In a lot of ways, the things that draw us to certain kinds of song lyrics or movie genres are the things I think we seek (more subjectively, of course) when we look at paintings or sculpture.<br />
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I think that's why sometimes people may have trouble initially engaging with modern or abstract art. They want that emotional resonance, and it might not always be immediately available when you're looking at a Picasso. It's there, of course -- but it's layered in different ways, and presented through different contexts.<br />
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What's interesting of course, is that in our current culture -- so much of the debate and discourse about popular art seems to center around the ways people seem to <i>misunderstand</i> the simplest of things.<br />
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Movies that cast white actors in roles centered in Asian source material -- the lack of representation of marginalized cultures in popular genre works, and the arguments that seem to inevitably follow when creators do try to make simple changes to try to bridge those gaps.<br />
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You'd think it would be simple to make a Stormtrooper black or a Ghostbuster into a woman<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjykROixVnWSNayyTGmSGc4X0P1y-krqwe7M2TRlJCbda-FHez1D1sLCdhCROdUad3k53I_04ES5Y-zPK_3tNdylf8PBgN40S8NNAzZuG29633fDS3J-PozJYb2sDnv9_LroZeA/s1600/salty.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="361" data-original-width="300" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjykROixVnWSNayyTGmSGc4X0P1y-krqwe7M2TRlJCbda-FHez1D1sLCdhCROdUad3k53I_04ES5Y-zPK_3tNdylf8PBgN40S8NNAzZuG29633fDS3J-PozJYb2sDnv9_LroZeA/s320/salty.png" width="264" /></a>-- but apparently, not everyone can find ways to be comfortable seeing themselves reflected back in heroes that don't look exactly the same way they have come to expect them to. It's almost like they aren't willing to try to see the values of heroism they embody into their superheroes reflected back if it means they have to search through layers of gender or ethnicity in order to do it.<br />
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You can find out a lot about people by seeing the art they appreciate. How many of us have found ourselves almost swiping right on a dating app until we scrolled down just a little bit further and found out your potential match had terrible taste in music?<br />
<br />
How many bad dates could have been avoided altogether if you just knew in advance that your potential partner for the evening really thinks <i>The Big Bang Theory </i>is the funniest show on television?<br />
<br />
So when you consider our inherent ability to project parts of our personality through the art that we tend to gravitate to, it only makes logical sense that having a deeper appreciation for as many kinds of art as possible can make you a better-rounded person.<br />
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<a href="https://img.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeed-static/static/enhanced/webdr06/2013/8/26/14/anigif_enhanced-buzz-3902-1377541253-16.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="420" data-original-width="625" height="268" src="https://img.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeed-static/static/enhanced/webdr06/2013/8/26/14/anigif_enhanced-buzz-3902-1377541253-16.gif" width="400" /></a></div>
Perhaps that's why I was so interested when I found out about <a href="https://www.google.com/culturalinstitute/beta/u/0/" target="_blank">a new app from Google</a> that lets you browse artwork from more than 1,000 museums from around the world. While nothing can replace the experience of standing in front of an original work from a truly gifted master, it's not always possible to get to the places where they are. So this creates a nice little workaround, if not a way to plan trips for future vacations.<br />
<br />
Even more interesting though is one of the apps side features, which enables you to take a selfie and then have google compare it to pieces of art all around the world to see which ones you resemble the most. Facial recognition technology has advanced to the point where it can actually analyze and search for features in you that have been captured in paint or stone by some of the greatest artists the world has ever seen.<br />
<br />
Just within a few clicks you'd be able to see yourself reflected in artwork commissioned by royalty, studied by scholars. Sculptures valued in the millions, paintings too priceless to mention.<br />
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I mean seriously, what could go wrong?<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMVlqDGDHTc4LoqGPYGMAr4Gfvg_55gnCZUuxIcldau7cAodNalTyoPpnfE405xn9xJUQX2XgxHT-MyBnMLIdjaEmVSGulNEoznKupmPbIb5aHrMlVfeClkuAoA6YbZgtAWaRe/s1600/fuckthisapp.PNG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="625" data-original-width="472" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMVlqDGDHTc4LoqGPYGMAr4Gfvg_55gnCZUuxIcldau7cAodNalTyoPpnfE405xn9xJUQX2XgxHT-MyBnMLIdjaEmVSGulNEoznKupmPbIb5aHrMlVfeClkuAoA6YbZgtAWaRe/s640/fuckthisapp.PNG" width="481" /></a></div>
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[Now Playing: <span style="color: blue;">Caroline & The Treats </span>- <em><span style="color: blue;">"Me and My Vibrator"</span></em> ]</div>
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Hexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08075361498418228218noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3322728.post-40961666282403316752018-01-11T15:16:00.003-05:002018-01-11T16:19:44.508-05:00Actually Spoken During the Course of My Day<br />
"My white friends better not embarrass me at <i>Black Panther."</i><br />
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[Now Playing: <span style="color: blue;">Animals as Leaders </span>- <em><span style="color: blue;">"Nephele"</span></em> ]</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7xvY6llQgufN5-XB6Q28OVGo2sUs0bUiiaRtIqX51N56fOje7napGSeaxkFYcOEItLTEbRkVdfFDXzTyYk1UXI2gVFOyX8XukdKcELe29sCX5a3nB3JR42914riWdORuR0HEn/s1600/frontimage_20.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="682" data-original-width="1024" height="1" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7xvY6llQgufN5-XB6Q28OVGo2sUs0bUiiaRtIqX51N56fOje7napGSeaxkFYcOEItLTEbRkVdfFDXzTyYk1UXI2gVFOyX8XukdKcELe29sCX5a3nB3JR42914riWdORuR0HEn/s320/frontimage_20.jpg" width="1" /></a></div>
Hexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08075361498418228218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3322728.post-47948646931200129872018-01-10T17:19:00.000-05:002018-01-11T16:21:35.564-05:00Cattle and Loveplay<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqUPPXODWm1TWux-TEfPNK6B3jQz92U0FSZ8uXA2Vcr3CHQ3UgWO_Qz0gGCFksyKl3hwwEQxLwHmgVdB6qLRQNFpYlXUkMl6wCEg63XpArassiXw99Zhx8b1hQyNcSzwKLJH3F/s1600/2d9f9cde8fef835034bfb878af4598e3---movie-dune-the-movie.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="700" data-original-width="399" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqUPPXODWm1TWux-TEfPNK6B3jQz92U0FSZ8uXA2Vcr3CHQ3UgWO_Qz0gGCFksyKl3hwwEQxLwHmgVdB6qLRQNFpYlXUkMl6wCEg63XpArassiXw99Zhx8b1hQyNcSzwKLJH3F/s400/2d9f9cde8fef835034bfb878af4598e3---movie-dune-the-movie.jpg" width="226" /></a>I'm not sure I've ever been as disconnected from popular music as I am now.<br />
<br />
Sure in my angsty-est of teenage days there were periods where I only listened to like 4 bands, but I was still largely aware of what the popular kids were dancing to at the time. If anything, knowing the specific machine I was raging against only made me more dedicated to my belief that all of my efforts to keep "real music" alive were vital and important.<br />
<br />
Truth be told, I don't have that much of a problem with pop music. Dancy beats and solid hooks work on me just as much as the next guy -- which is probably why I'm kinda addicted to singing along with <a href="https://youtu.be/LsoLEjrDogU" target="_blank">Cardi B's remix of Bruno Mars' "Finesse"</a> whenever it pops up in my Spotify.<br />
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What I have the biggest problem with these days is <i>manufactured music.</i><br />
<br />
What I mean by that is the current glut of generic mid-tempo would-be anthems that get pumped out as the record companies try to chase the latest trend or worse -- take something raw and urban that's really starting to turn heads and then essentially attempt to gentrify it by putting a more palatable face on it and a huge marketing push.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhv5U3kX7QTQv5ouGwdIHfVr1CYQY8gY_EckJnTzTuI4PhSBoxKUoRzan8N9Gpl75ry-gwrBNYWwtlrrz_FjdHxLsAjiN66g-yNkIUY5L6kpZKTWjlKokUC8691xizUGawfBZc/s1600/patrick-stewart-cowboy-2016-billboard-1548.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1024" data-original-width="1548" height="263" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhv5U3kX7QTQv5ouGwdIHfVr1CYQY8gY_EckJnTzTuI4PhSBoxKUoRzan8N9Gpl75ry-gwrBNYWwtlrrz_FjdHxLsAjiN66g-yNkIUY5L6kpZKTWjlKokUC8691xizUGawfBZc/s400/patrick-stewart-cowboy-2016-billboard-1548.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>This is by no means a new problem in the music industry, but we're unfortunately living in a time where this seems to be more painfully blatant than it's been in a while.<br />
<br />
With the decline of rock and roll as a viable crosscurrent in pop culture, a large section of producer-driven music styled to create hits in both pop and pop country music has all but abandoned their efforts to even hide the formula anymore.<br />
<br />
They steal popular tropes and gimmicks from the current cultural crosscurrents (hip-hop, EDM) and then sprinkle them liberally over their <a href="https://youtu.be/nuGt-ZG39cU" target="_blank">proven songwriting templates</a>, knowing that anyone who relies on Pandora, YouTube, or Spotify as their vessel for new discovering new songs is likely to seek out artists similar to those they already like (assisted by the algorithms on each platform dedicated to providing them with available lists whenever possible).<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div>This isn't hating on your favorite artist, it's <i>business. </i><br />
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<div style="text-align: center;"><iframe allow="autoplay; encrypted-media" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/MN23lFKfpck" width="560"></iframe><br />
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The good news is that after a long time of chaos, the very same platforms that the record labels once wanted to kill are becoming their preferred avenue to find their way back to relevance. What better way to maximize the power of the hit single than by making it the potential centerpiece of its own radio station that you can track and analyze endlessly?<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8I-GpLT4kXH12FZylR1sWpSAQ_nfyECokNszfcHurJ0_ypsy5yPZeqrptoXLbHLS9UE_qh-kXuJRKPDhbm1UT3rQlnrjXVlM9aQOcl5ONP7mu3quna50J6UJbxyDhbDnochlp/s1600/what-more-proof-do-you-need.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="226" data-original-width="306" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8I-GpLT4kXH12FZylR1sWpSAQ_nfyECokNszfcHurJ0_ypsy5yPZeqrptoXLbHLS9UE_qh-kXuJRKPDhbm1UT3rQlnrjXVlM9aQOcl5ONP7mu3quna50J6UJbxyDhbDnochlp/s1600/what-more-proof-do-you-need.jpg" /></a></div>After all, how much more proof do you need that everyone loves Post Malone (whoever the hell that is) if Spotify's detailed tracking systems can quantifiably prove that of all eleventy billion songs on the platform across multiple genres that Spotify's over 100 million registered users could access with just a click, they're listening to his song the most in a given week?<br />
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All the better though that this is happening on software platforms that aim to house the largest libraries of all the other styles of music in the world too?<br />
<br />
All things considered, I think it's the best possible outcome we could have hoped for as listeners.<br />
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The thing is though, I still love to discover new music. Which you would think would be super easy given the breadth of these platforms -- and while I do spend a fair amount of time browsing through the suggestions I'm offered and the new artist playlists available, what ends up happening more often than not is the bad part of the bargain that I was just praising above.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://78.media.tumblr.com/3b6d37d4c8aad569004ba95607db0b71/tumblr_inline_p0one1wCvJ1um4sq5_540.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="200" data-original-width="350" height="227" src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/3b6d37d4c8aad569004ba95607db0b71/tumblr_inline_p0one1wCvJ1um4sq5_540.gif" width="400" /></a></div>Spotify's algorithms are so designed to feed me more of what it assumes I like that they'll frequently suggest artists I've already heard of or worse, offer variations on the artist they originally based the suggestion on.<br />
<br />
"Oh you like Prince? Then you might also want to try Prince <i>and the Revolution.</i>"<br />
<br />
Well-intentioned it might be, but that's not really much help. So I tend to find myself seeking out different ways and means to find new music all the time.<br />
<br />
Which is why is was so cool to trip across something really interesting and new from an unexpected place. A BBC film critic I really like named Mark Kermode was watching a new movie called <i>Hostiles</i> (which I'm pretty interested to see) and he found himself <a href="https://youtu.be/p1t4EUXjVa4" target="_blank">fascinated by the soundtrack</a>. Particularly some of the ambient textures used to create background noises. Turns out a lot of the soundtrack was created on a unique instrument called a Yaybahar - of which there's apparently only one of in the entire world.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><iframe allow="autoplay; encrypted-media" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/_aY6TxC1ojA?start=78" width="560"></iframe><br />
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Now a couple of things here -- First and foremost, how cool is that thing!? It's like it's got its own built-in echo chamber. Plus it's like a percussion instrument and two different string instruments combined, just really really cool.<br />
<br />
But second, just watching this video I kept thinking to myself -- the guy is playing this unique instrument in what is clearly an <i>upstairs room</i>. All that wood paneling and high ceilings are probably adding to the depth of the sound -- but is it like, an apartment?<br />
<br />
Does this guy have downstairs neighbors?<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://i.imgur.com/i07VOot.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="300" data-original-width="400" src="https://i.imgur.com/i07VOot.gif" /></a></div>I mean, it is a cool sound and all, but holy crap -- how would you like that noise raining down on you from above while you're trying to sleep? I mean seriously, how much of the haunting sound of this instrument comes from its resonant strings, and how much comes from the dude in the room below him banging a broom handle on the ceiling? How about when two show up to the apartment mailbox at the same time after a long night of "practicing?"<br />
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..That's gotta be awkward.<br />
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<div align="right"><div class="media">[Now Playing: <span style="color: blue;">Charles Mingus </span>- <em><span style="color: blue;">"Orange Was the Color of Her Dress Then Blue Silk"</span></em> ]</div></div><br />
Hexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08075361498418228218noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3322728.post-68178602125061866892018-01-08T14:19:00.000-05:002018-01-11T16:21:57.146-05:00Turkish Delight<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.siriusxm.ca/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/MadXMenXJonXHamm.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="524" data-original-width="800" height="261" src="https://www.siriusxm.ca/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/MadXMenXJonXHamm.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>My father still smokes.<br />
<br />
At 74 years of age, he deals daily with lingering issues from emphysema and COPD, and he spends a good part of his day wearing an oxygen feed.<br />
<br />
He certainly doesn't smoke anywhere as much as he used to -- which is an important thing to mention. It's hard to imagine kicking a habit you've had for more than 50 years is an easy thing to do.<br />
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That being said, I don't think he wants to quit. I don't think he ever did.<br />
<br />
I think he's pretty well acquainted with the health risks. I'm pretty certain he's aware of the dangers. He knows what it's done to him, and what it will likely eventually do to him.<br />
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I think he just likes to do it.<br />
<br />
But I also suspect that a part of that liking to do it, a component of maintaining this habit comes from a sense of <b>resistance.</b> Like I said, he's 74 years old -- the man's seen a lot. He's lived through times in history we now look back on as cataclysmic. But beyond that, he's also experienced his own triumphs and defeats. He's lost loved ones. He established a career path, raised two kids and got them both through college with it. He survived a divorce, cleared himself of monstrous debt, retired from his job, and dealt with serious health threats.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://media.giphy.com/media/2DcckxNKRe4kU/giphy.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="264" data-original-width="480" height="220" src="https://media.giphy.com/media/2DcckxNKRe4kU/giphy.gif" width="400" /></a></div>And what does he get for all that?<br />
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He gets a world where everyone is more interested in their phones than they are in anyone else. If there's anything he gripes about more than anything else, it's people and their damn phones.<br />
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It's a world where -- in his view -- everyone needs to be told what to think.<br />
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A world where opinions can be easily swayed and/or manipulated based on what they see on the phones and not the wisdom of those around them. The result of which is a place where where you can't buy access to television or a landline phone without the internet, even if you don't want the internet.<br />
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But beyond everything else, I think he spends a lot of time angry at a world that seems set on taking things away from him.<br />
<br />
Perhaps the price of admission for anyone who finds themselves part of a generational shift is feeling the simplicity of the world you once knew getting replaced with the complexity of the world that the next generation embraces.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://78.media.tumblr.com/ad932f6fb32cb87d19ad6941e91ba8ce/tumblr_onwwafABqO1r1ult6o2_400.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="167" data-original-width="300" src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/ad932f6fb32cb87d19ad6941e91ba8ce/tumblr_onwwafABqO1r1ult6o2_400.gif" /></a></div>And I think it's easy to examine how the ways we have sought to speed up our world and fill it with access to instant information comes with the cost of a distancing effect on those who grew up adopting a mindset of the benefits of long-held values, takings things slow, and reaping the eventual returns of lifelong effort.<br />
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But more specifically and personally, I think my dad has had to endure a lot of people telling him that he can't have things he likes anymore. And in turn -- and in a move that I honestly understand more deeply than a lot of things my dad does, he has responded by holding onto those things as much as he can, as tightly as he's humanly able to do.<br />
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He owns guns. He likes movies about war and TV shows about old west lawmen. He has a landline phone. And several times a day, despite warnings from his doctors and urgings from his family and loved ones, he lights up a cigarette.<br />
<br />
Let's be clear here -- my father's not some psychotic republican. He doesn't go around parroting Fox News, he's never gone on and on about makers and takers, he's never said a word about SJWs or crazy feminists -- but he does see the world from a perspective that rejects a lot of the hysteria about decorum or sensibilities.<br />
<br />
Or to put it another way, when a new issue or controversy comes up in society -- he rarely lets anyone tell him what to think about it.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://78.media.tumblr.com/50764393c9c893d5c545f5c38cc9dcb7/tumblr_noogvkITjD1r7c92bo1_500.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="277" data-original-width="500" height="220" src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/50764393c9c893d5c545f5c38cc9dcb7/tumblr_noogvkITjD1r7c92bo1_500.gif" width="400" /></a>He measures it against his own values and code.<br />
<br />
But in the cases where those value and code represent an older worldview or contradicts the conclusions everyone else <strike>is reading off their phones</strike> has decided is right -- he quietly and earnestly <i>continues to smoke.</i><br />
<br />
So while issue to issue it can be frustrating to deal with, it does make a certain kind of sense.<br />
<br />
But it also means that on certain fronts, you're not going to be able to tell him anything. He's not going to listen. All the facts and examples in the world won't amount to a change in opinion.<br />
<br />
And that can be really frustrating. Especially if it's not just him. Because I don't think he's the only one who sees the world through these sorts of lenses.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div>The difference is that there's supposed to be more of us than there are of them. There's supposed to be this dichotomy where you have a generation living and functioning and voting with a different set of values, but it's offset by a group with a more modern-minded sensibility. And the synthesis between those two tensions is supposed to help us find the best of both paths. Where the wisdom of the elders helps keeps youthful enthusiasm from leaping before it looks -- but those living in the present moment can use all they have learned to help make things better for everyone involved.<br />
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We're supposed to be working <i>together. </i><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://78.media.tumblr.com/623cba38dd3a9b6a57236ba3bf254db0/tumblr_ny6dn2z7VZ1so27ppo1_1280.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="451" data-original-width="800" height="225" src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/623cba38dd3a9b6a57236ba3bf254db0/tumblr_ny6dn2z7VZ1so27ppo1_1280.gif" width="400" /></a></div>That's where I think I'm most frustrated lately -- but perhaps also where I'm most confused. Because somewhere in all this logic I think is a version where I should see the fact that my dad smokes a lot less than he used to as some level of compromised victory. But despite my desire to let dad be dad, I still really wish he'd quit altogether. I still really wish he'd quit the 100 or more times I wanted him to when I was growing up.<br />
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So does that make <i>me</i> the one who doesn't get it?<br />
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<div align="right"><div class="media">[Now Playing: <span style="color: blue;">Vince Staples </span>- <em><span style="color: blue;">"BagBak"</span></em> ]</div></div>Hexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08075361498418228218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3322728.post-31656035379936744532018-01-04T17:26:00.001-05:002018-01-11T16:22:31.893-05:00Elevator Pitch<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCvlyu2r3tBOW385K9YihRYIrZxQ-E3vDo2x03UeXIK3qqsSDVqaWObWi7TjTKGxAXGTHzAZjLTknT6RkmOWN1Omjt6_FM1c5K4Y75E5ztXcVgoKgbgSO4fsquFujQwNSrJjk4/s1600/KongSkullIsland-thumb-700xauto-190738.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="338" data-original-width="700" height="192" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCvlyu2r3tBOW385K9YihRYIrZxQ-E3vDo2x03UeXIK3qqsSDVqaWObWi7TjTKGxAXGTHzAZjLTknT6RkmOWN1Omjt6_FM1c5K4Y75E5ztXcVgoKgbgSO4fsquFujQwNSrJjk4/s400/KongSkullIsland-thumb-700xauto-190738.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>I like dumb movies that embrace how dumb they are.<br />
<br />
It's not as easy a conceit as you might imagine to pull off. I mean let's face it, even some of the greatest movies ever made have lots of dumb shit in them.<br />
<br />
What I'm talking about is when a movie comes out and announces itself with a ridiculous premise, commits to it, and follows through to the end -- where all the actors and production designers and costumers have committed themselves to the effort to create a world for us as viewers to visit and explore, characters for us to root for, and a goal we want them to achieve -- there's nothing better than sinking into it and enjoying the ride.<br />
<br />
I think the reason for this is that is that I enjoy being inspired.<br />
<br />
I like the experience that comes from embracing ideas and getting swept up into a cause (especially if the cause can be shown as a parallel to something in my own life). Even if it's something as simple as two unrelated people needing to make a neural connection so that the giant robot they are driving can effectively punch the sea monster threatening their city in the face -- if you can fill your presentation with rich detail and a rousing story -- I'm more than happy to get on board.<br />
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<div style="text-align: center;"><iframe allow="encrypted-media" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" gesture="media" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/nJX0c-cZKi8?rel=0&showinfo=0" width="560"></iframe><br />
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Like most people, I prefer stories that appeal to my sensibilities and preferences -- but I'm not totally opposed to trying different things, exploring different ideas or themes that might challenge my outlook on the world or offer me a different perspective on things I might have felt I already understood in a certain way. Sometimes having my eyes opened to something new can actually be more rewarding than retreading ground I've already covered and become comfortable with.<br />
<br />
But <a href="http://hexacorde.blogspot.com/2018/01/porg-and-bess.html" target="_blank">like I was talking about the other day</a>, I think we're in a headspace lately as a culture where doing just that is becoming more and more difficult.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://heapsgay.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/giphy-258.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="270" data-original-width="480" height="225" src="https://heapsgay.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/giphy-258.gif" width="400" /></a></div>Look, I know the last thing you probably want to slog through is yet another political thinkpiece diatribe -- and anyone who's read this blog is well aware of where I sit on the political spectrum, but I just gotta say just for the record:<br />
<br />
I really, really hate the fact that that the president is stupid.<br />
<br />
Let's set aside for a moment the policy and party reasons I disagree with him (and believe me, there are many) -- and just focus on these bothersome facts that keep swirling around the guy. He doesn't like to (or can't or won't) read, he has barely any patience for meetings or information sessions, he walks out of meetings, he gets lots of his news from social networks or news commentary shows with clear biases and all the rest of the little details that we discover either through interviews with people around him or his own revelations through twitter or media interviews -- the guy is not that sharp.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZm_2H4equOM0hkHPSOBf6jxrDNCzS3AH3M3hreYhmBTDZ-vQ6M-K3pcMfacASEbYZy0p2maWM6lQXO6IvKoynK5910aWqTeTHnLkNloQ6D0W3S14tzqjY5ft9IHIFBiah9cbc/s1600/22live-sun.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="458" data-original-width="500" height="292" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZm_2H4equOM0hkHPSOBf6jxrDNCzS3AH3M3hreYhmBTDZ-vQ6M-K3pcMfacASEbYZy0p2maWM6lQXO6IvKoynK5910aWqTeTHnLkNloQ6D0W3S14tzqjY5ft9IHIFBiah9cbc/s320/22live-sun.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>Shrewd, perhaps.<br />
But painfully, painfully dumb.<br />
<br />
More and more this picture is forming of this guy who is sitting at the most powerful desk in the world who can't work the phones or find the light switches.<br />
<br />
It bothers me. It's disappointing. It flies in the face of every parent and teacher I've ever had who demanded that I work hard in school and try to do better.<br />
<br />
I know being rich enables people to skip over a lot of the struggles other people go through, but usually when some rich asshole starts waving his money around and suggests he should be in charge of everything -- people of all stripes tend to rise up and ask for some qualifications first. From Nelson Rockefeller to Mitt Romney, Americans have tended to reject rich jerks in presidential elections. We also tend to shun idiots from being in charge.<br />
<br />
But here we are, with the richest jerkiest idiot we could find, and it just makes my stomach turn.<br />
<br />
It's almost like you're watching a movie and the main character is just an asshole. Not an antihero who you find yourself rooting for because he is driven to accomplish the right goal, even if his methods might be questionable.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://media.licdn.com/mpr/mpr/p/4/005/06c/256/3b25a5d.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="490" data-original-width="736" height="266" src="https://media.licdn.com/mpr/mpr/p/4/005/06c/256/3b25a5d.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>I feel like we're being asked to root for the Wolf of Wall Street. You know -- the bad guy?<br />
<br />
And yet I know a lot of people do root for those ideas. You go on Linkedin or other social networks and you'll see quotes from the movie presented as inspirational memes. Not like "Don't be like this guy, he ripped everybody off and then went to jail" but honest to goodness "Be like this if you want to succeed" things.<br />
<br />
I guess I'm coming off sounding naive. I know there are sharks out there. We live in a competitive, capitalistic society. People use others, they take advantage, they cut in lines. If you want to accomplish your dreams, you have to fight for it -- and sometimes that means fighting other people who want the same thing.<br />
<br />
But is it naive to think that when it comes to something like being the President of the United States -- where you're fighting against other people to win the support and votes of people in the country -- that the weapons you use to fight should be your ability to impress that you're the very best, most qualified person for the job?<br />
<br />
That your intelligence and compassion elevate you beyond your competitors?<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://i.pinimg.com/736x/d7/83/50/d78350cf25c51d5bf0ec60ddc8cf3bb1--funny-doodles-time-art.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="537" data-original-width="500" height="320" src="https://i.pinimg.com/736x/d7/83/50/d78350cf25c51d5bf0ec60ddc8cf3bb1--funny-doodles-time-art.jpg" width="297" /></a></div>I know people had issues with Hillary Clinton, our election results confirmed that. But is this really better? This dangerous colicky toddler flinging insults at people from his phone and actively supporting alleged child molesters in Senate races?<br />
<br />
This isn't a dumb movie with a lead character we don't like or a plot we can't buy into. This is a bad movie we can't find a way to walk out of. This is like a movie about the Titanic where the hero character is the Iceberg.<br />
<br />
I'm ready to close this book. I'm ready to exit out of this Netflix selection.<br />
<br />
But a lot of people aren't. A lot of folks are all in on this -- and more and more I feel like walking out of the theater<i> without them</i> just isn't the answer. More and more I feel like I have a good idea how Iceberg the movie is going to end, and it's hard not to see it being bad for everyone. Like nuclear bad.<br />
<br />
But how do you enlighten them? How do you convince the metaphoric equivalent of movie twitter that instead of ranting on youtube about plot holes, we literally need to shut the projector off and switch theaters?<br />
<br />
How can we find a way to inspire people to embrace a different story?<br />
<br />
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<div align="right"><div class="media">[Now Playing: <span style="color: blue;">Bruno Mars [feat Cardi B.] </span>- <em><span style="color: blue;">"Finesse (Remix)"</span></em> ]</div></div>Hexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08075361498418228218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3322728.post-71465676416371891152018-01-03T15:53:00.000-05:002018-01-16T17:22:51.613-05:00Porg and Bess<br />
Somewhere in mid-December as I was trying to map out how much holiday shopping I could do this year and what might be able to get for family and loved ones -- and I had this idea to create a Spotify playlist and write a letter for several of my friends who I like to keep in touch with.<br />
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Not that I wouldn't like to get them actual gifts if I could afford to -- but they're the kind of friendships where reaching out and maintaining contact with something more personal would likely be more appreciated than some absent-mindedly purchased gift cards to restaurants you hope the other person doesn't hate.<br />
<br />
But as it always seems to do -- time ran out and I couldn't get it done.<br />
<br />
Or to be more specific -- this quick sort of "Hey here's how things are going in my world right now" note I intended to be this sort of unique thing for my friends to enjoy started out well enough one day at work when I began to type it, but then it quickly exploded into all sorts of backstory and junk that clearly no one would want to endure reading.<br />
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Like I got through all this needless exposition and backstory and I realized what I had intended to be an action scene of an Ice Dragon melting a mystical wall had turned into a multi-volumed backstory spread across several entire families of characters and plotlines.<br />
<br />
I mean, some folks I hadn't talked to in a long while -- they needed backstory in order to understand what was going on. If you craft pivotal moments without context, how can they have any resonance?<br />
<br />
I mean come on, people -- this is a Christmas letter, not a Star Wars script.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/r9C7Grxk4bU/maxresdefault.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="450" data-original-width="800" height="225" src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/r9C7Grxk4bU/maxresdefault.jpg" width="400" /></a>On a semi-related note, I just cannot seem to get enough of fanboy bellyaching about the latest Star Wars movie.<br />
<br />
For the record, I enjoyed the film. It was a big shift in tone, and some of the delivery was messy (which could be said of any of the movies in that series) -- but I enjoyed watching it.<br />
<br />
It certainly didn't enrage me the way it apparently did for others. But in craving discussion about it, which is kinda the whole reason we engage with these sorts of things in the first place -- really the majority of what I've been able to find is the fanboy backlash.<br />
<br />
And maaaan are they pissed.<br />
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So there are all these movie reviews or youtube rants where they just go on and on and on about everything, and their voices are breaking and you can see the veins popping out of their heads and I guess because I didn't hate the movie I feel weirdly separated from it. Their anger seems either utterly irrational or supremely specific.<br />
<br />
If they aren't declaring that Rian Johnson violated their sense of childhood innocence by rejecting the central theme of the franchise then it seems they absolutely cannot get past the whole "no gravity in space so how could they drop bombs on the bad guys?" thing.<br />
<br />
But what I've noticed more and more with all these rants is that the longer they are, the more ridiculous they seem. Like eventually the overkill on just how blasphemous they think the movie was just seems to devolve eventually into this sort of breathless rage they seem to not know what to do with.<br />
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And I get it -- I loathed the prequels, I got all caught up in the delirious rage of wondering how a mapmaker could get lost in <i>Prometheus </i>-- I know just how deep the emotions get when you desperately want something to be meaningful only to see it turning to shit right in front of you for what seems like the smallest and dumbest of reasons.<br />
<br />
I think when people are engaged in something deeply, perhaps even emotionally -- they have an expectation that the little details will matter as much to the person handling the delivery of that thing to them, that the person behind the wheel of their movie franchise or their Netflix adaptation or whatever will be invested as much in the universe it inhabits all the way down to the little things as you are.<br />
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Think about dating relationships or marriages or whatever where your partner hated sports. Or when you wanted them to go shoe shopping with you and they could barely contain their utter eye-rolling contempt for the idea of shopping or the complexities of shoe selection. Where you were suddenly feeling like you had to justify something so utterly basic to the person who you had always counted on to have your back regardless of the subject?<br />
<br />
And yet, is it actually better if the person you're with feigns interest in shoe shopping just for your emotional benefit? Where your spouse watches sports with you but clearly doesn't know what's going on, or asks endless questions, or whatever?<br />
<br />
That feeling -- that sort of frustrated need for someone to understand and genuinely share in your excitement for something you love or anger at something that disappointed you I think is a driving force in our culture lately.<br />
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I suspect we've reached a point in this sort of expanded communication/social networking/political opinions as personality traits paradigm where people are so hungry for clarity that it seems like literally EVERYTHING has to fall into some sort of binary declaration of good or evil -- and these divisions that arise from it are killing us.<br />
<br />
A movie isn't simply bad anymore -- it was <i>ruined</i> by SJWs.<br />
<br />
But that's sort of the thing, isn't it? I mean it would be easy I think to toss blame at one side of the cultural/political divide and say that "that's what they always do" or "this is how they divide us" but the truth of the matter is that lately we <i>all </i>kinda do it.<br />
<br />
And look I totally get it --<br />
<br />
- If a circular spaceship starts rolling towards you, only <i>an idiot </i>would run in a straight line.<br />
- If you're suddenly able to use the force -- then your parents <i>have to be </i>someone important.<br />
- The only way Trump could become President is if <i>all the people </i>who voted for him are racist.<br />
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It seems like the only way we can talk anymore is in drawing these hard lines. Or maybe it's better to say that in the social networky forums where we mostly communicate anymore, you're almost compelled anymore to make declarations. To take a side and challenge others to agree with you with a like or standoff against you with a comment.<br />
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Of course, nothing is more tired on the internet than some old guy complaining about the death of nuance -- but I am starting to wonder if this lean towards declaration and the emotional aftereffects of the binaries that it creates aren't having some sort of gradual effect on the way we perceive the world around us.<br />
<br />
With the way things are now in politics and entertainment and media, it kinda feels like everyone's angrier these days. And I guess the real question is -- how do we come back from that?<br />
<br />
Now that we've all been swept out into the vacuum of space which would seemingly kill us all instantly, but there's more story left to tell...<br />
<br />
I MEAN, WE WERE ALL WATCHING THE SAME MOVIE, RIGHT?<br />
<br />
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[Now Playing: <span style="color: blue;">Sikth </span>- <em><span style="color: blue;">"Cracks of Light"</span></em>]</div>
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Hexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08075361498418228218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3322728.post-77089264856776913362017-05-25T15:06:00.000-05:002017-05-25T15:08:46.579-05:00Contrast of Continuum of Movement<a href="https://68.media.tumblr.com/234a9a3697e987a361e2df15059c1dd0/tumblr_omu2xpNmbL1v4a8wfo2_500.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="251" data-original-width="500" height="200" src="https://68.media.tumblr.com/234a9a3697e987a361e2df15059c1dd0/tumblr_omu2xpNmbL1v4a8wfo2_500.png" width="400" /></a>Where is your motivation?<br />
Where is your direction?<br />
Where is your discipline?<br />
<br />
What is your differentiation?<br />
What is your function?<br />
What is your ..malfunction?<br />
<br />
Where is your anger?<br />
Isn't it better when you're angry?<br />
<br />
When you need water, go to the well.<br />
<br />
Where is the well?<br />
What is your water?<br />
<br />
Why won't you drink?<br />
<br />
..Aren't you thirsty? Haven't you always been thirsty?<br />
Hasn't every moment been driven by a need to quench that thirst?<br />
<br />
Take the pills. You need to take the pills.<br />
Nothing happens when I take the pills.<br />
That's the point. It keeps thing thing from happening again.<br />
Nothing happening means it's working.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://25.media.tumblr.com/5d10c67decd96b67966ab1ecbc699ab4/tumblr_mt0klr6ZkK1qbg1nso1_r1_500.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="249" data-original-width="495" height="200" src="https://25.media.tumblr.com/5d10c67decd96b67966ab1ecbc699ab4/tumblr_mt0klr6ZkK1qbg1nso1_r1_500.gif" width="400" /></a>Nothing happening makes me angry.<br />
Nothing happening makes me thirsty.<br />
<br />
Nothing's happening.<br />
So much ..nothing is happening.<br />
<br />
<br />
Why won't you drink?<br />
<br />
<br />
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[Now Playing: <span style="color: blue;">Plini </span>- <em><span style="color: blue;">"Every Piece Matters"</span></em> ]</div>
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Hexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08075361498418228218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3322728.post-54636875849682127732017-04-20T13:24:00.000-05:002017-04-20T13:25:16.335-05:00This Would Be a Perfect Time to Write a Blog Entry<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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When I finally decided to start writing here again, I was emotionally charged. I was feeling a certain way, and I opened the page and let it run. The emotion mixed with the process and then something took shape.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: cyan;">It's my <strike>favorite</strike> preferred way to write.</span><br />
<br />
In fact, that has always been one of my favorite parts about the whole blogging thing. Essentially, I had this available platform/website/software that I set up in a way that I liked -- that I could access whenever I felt the urge and would not have to re-configure or initialize. I could just click once or twice, get to a blank page and just rage.<br />
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<span style="color: cyan;">The spiral notebook, digitized.</span><br />
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<a href="https://img.wennermedia.com/social/bill-clinton-carlos-satana-praise-coltrane-documentary-bacd8c89-f4fd-459f-adc0-52b3ced74f0f.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="168" src="https://img.wennermedia.com/social/bill-clinton-carlos-satana-praise-coltrane-documentary-bacd8c89-f4fd-459f-adc0-52b3ced74f0f.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
Writing teachers, inspirational texts, interviews with published authors -- there's a lot of talk about having a <i>place</i> to write. Making <i>time</i> to write, and maintaining that process. Every day at whatever hour you sit down in your set spot and take your set time to work on your craft. They talk about that when it comes to practicing music, as well.<br />
<br />
And it sounds pretty logical -- build a routine and then execute it. Develop your ability to punch through blocks or other obstacles through repetition. Work the muscle. Develop your instrument.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: cyan;">Verb the adjective noun.</span><br />
<br />
But it doesn't always work like that. Or, I don't work like that. Actually it's likely most correct to say that it could <i>probably</i> work like that if I'd published a successful enough first novel to get me the kind of advance that would enable me to not have to be here in this office every day, in a job that's unpredictably busy -- the kind where I can't always predict when I'll have enough of an open space between tasks and responsibilities to work on this sort of thing.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: cyan;">Book Idea: <i>So You've Decided to Write a Blog While You're Supposed to Be Working. </i></span><br />
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Anyways.. where was I?<br />
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Ah, right. So when I finally decided to start writing here again, I was emotionally charged. I was feeling a certain way, and I opened the page and let it run. The emotion mixed with the process and then something took shape. And it wasn't a perfect something, but that was ok -- because I would be returning to it in a day or so to try again.<br />
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After all, it's been a little while since I have written stuff on a regular basis and like anything else you have to shake off the rust a bit, right?<br />
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But then life happened, as it does -- and I didn't return in a day or two. Work got busy. I shifted my priorities to the squeakier wheel. And so now that I'm back, it's weird to feel this sense of slowed momentum. I mean, I had sort of set the table with the initial entry -- now it was just time to put some food on the plates. I mean, it's not like I had to start <i>all the way</i> over again.<br />
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Aw crap, the phone's ringing.<br />
<b><span style="color: cyan;"><br />
</span></b> <b><span style="color: cyan;"> ..Back later.</span></b><br />
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Hexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08075361498418228218noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3322728.post-84326919988113697492017-04-11T09:52:00.001-05:002017-04-11T15:02:20.098-05:00Sunken Places<b>I feel like I've disappeared.</b><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhchuAKY5BNm6IJY4Mj7fwRNnnVOFjG6jUcE6pvV8gt2TL90taJHpRtD11J_tQ-gDPNpqMvzvOL5EEey_CXsW4Xg21v-iunxYrX_8ka8dYnR_vOBHadJ_90ISQeeQjH-jhShZrO/s1600/marty_hand_5658.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhchuAKY5BNm6IJY4Mj7fwRNnnVOFjG6jUcE6pvV8gt2TL90taJHpRtD11J_tQ-gDPNpqMvzvOL5EEey_CXsW4Xg21v-iunxYrX_8ka8dYnR_vOBHadJ_90ISQeeQjH-jhShZrO/s320/marty_hand_5658.jpg" width="320" /></a>I haven't posted in here in forever. I haven't written in a paper journal in forever. The websites and places that I used to write for are gone -- to be honest, the internet has changed a lot since those days.<br />
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There are still blogs out there, thinkpieces all over the place -- that's not changed and likely never will. As long as airlines treat people like cattle, or marketing companies think racism can be solved with a Pepsi, or America elects an idiot to be the most powerful man in the world, there will always be overlong diatribes that you can read and react to.<br />
<span style="color: #3d85c6;"><br />
</span><span style="color: cyan;">But the landscape has shifted, and I didn't shift with it.</span><br />
<br />
Maybe I could have started a podcast, or switched to a youtube platform, but.. I didn't.<br />
<br />
And this was all <i>before</i> I had a heart attack last November.<br />
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In the space of a few years I went from blogging nearly daily during free time at a job I really loved and dating an amazing woman to getting fired, fumbling away that relationship, becoming largely disillusioned with my own writing, bouncing around a few different jobs and finding myself with dangerous amounts of self-reflective free time where I got down on myself for all of the above.<br />
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Oh sure I had <i>time to write</i> -- but I had no drive for it. I didn't enjoy the process anymore. I still had thoughts, but putting them to the page felt empty, somehow. I look back on it now and feel like perhaps I had hit one of those points where I'd begin to think of my writing as a means to an end. Like I was doing it <i>to get to something</i> -- a book deal, or a regular gig on some aggregator website or blog where people read and reacted to me more often.<br />
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But at some point I started to feel like I was just spinning my wheels. That writing semi-regularly kept the instrument sharp, but that the opportunities weren't going to just come to me, and beyond producing content -- I wasn't making any constructive effort to go find the opportunities myself.<br />
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Worse, this crisis of conscience happened around the time where my perception of the change in Internet readership was at a peak. Or to put it more clearly, at a time when I started to see people moving away from reading blogs and personal rants, I had come to feel like I really didn't love blogging and personal ranting the same way I used to.<br />
<br />
It wasn't that I didn't enjoy writing. I've always loved it. I do it for a living (albeit in a stale, corporate manner).<br />
<span style="color: #3d85c6;"><br />
</span><span style="color: cyan;">It was that I was taking it for granted. </span><br />
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I do that a lot. A lot more than I probably like to admit. It's a shitty quality for a person to possess, and a bad way to live your life.<br />
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But if nothing else, <i>it gets results.</i> Because when you take things for granted, you lose them.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: cyan;">They fire you.</span><br />
<span style="color: cyan;">They break up with you.</span><br />
<span style="color: cyan;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: cyan;">They become clogged, struggle to work, and seize up late one night -- leaving you on the floor with bolts of pain in your chest and arms while you struggle to breathe.</span><br />
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There's more to this story than I'm telling. I'm not even totally sure why I'm really telling it, or who I'm even talking to. But it feels like something worth doing this morning. That's not to say that it feels amazing, or that I'm a changed man who will write all the time and eat vegan and run on a treadmill 6 hours a day from now on.<br />
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There will be fits and starts. There will be days where even when I know I shouldn't, I'll blow it all off and get a donut. And there will just as likely be days where I do put in good time in the gym and have a salad for lunch and say no to that second cup of coffee and I will get on the scale and it still shows me up 3-4 pounds from where I was the day before.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: cyan;">Because it's not clean. There's no montage music.</span><br />
<span style="color: cyan;"><br /></span>
Chances are it's going to take more than Ralph Macchio and the length of a catchy song to figure all of this this out.<br />
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[Now Playing: <span style="color: #9fc5e8;"><span style="color: #9fc5e8;"> </span><span style="color: cyan;"><span style="color: blue;">Black Crown Initiate </span>- <em><span style="color: blue;">"Matriarch"</span></em></span></span><span style="color: cyan;"> </span>]<br />
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Hexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08075361498418228218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3322728.post-60148619622483683782015-06-01T14:21:00.000-05:002015-06-01T14:52:21.382-05:00Johnny UtahSo they're remaking <i>Point Break, </i>and of course -- everything about it looks pretty horrible.<br />
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Handsome foreign actors doing impossible stunts with HD video footage of huge wave surfing and skydiving and squirrel-suit flying or whatever with the requisite amount of slow mo and dubstep drops to put you in the mindset of <i>The Fast and the Furious -- </i>and ..wait a second, why does this suck again?<br />
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Hollywood has been doing this thing for a while -- these movies where impossible stunts and ridiculous parkour and Tom Cruise just happens and whatever stunt it is it always <i>works. </i>A trend my friends over at the Where's My 40 Acres/Movie Trailer Reviews podcast refer to as "impossible white man movies."<br />
<br />
<a href="http://thats-normal.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/9vzYQwj.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://thats-normal.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/9vzYQwj.jpg" height="233" width="320" /></a>I think on the surface, that's what I'm reacting to here. This trailer might as well be for a cookie cutter horror film. There seems to be nothing here that you can't say you've already seen somewhere else.<br />
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It's also one of those movie trailers that reminds you that as much as we might not like to admit it, when it comes to schlocky genre films, celebrities and stars tend to matter. The fact that barely anyone in this movie registers as recognizable at all makes it feel all the more generic.<br />
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But of course that's only part of the story -- because the real issue is of course that <i>Point Break</i> is a beloved movie, a sacred cow. Half of the anger and outrage here comes from the fact that someone felt like the movie needed to be remade at all, but now that we've seen what the result is -- it's as if the legacy of the thing meant <i>nothing at all </i>to the executives at the movie studio who made sure that this idea was greenlit.<br />
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And I know it's sort of weird to use a word like "legacy" when you're discussing a Keanu Reeves movie -- but really, I could be making the same argument for the <i>Robocop</i> remake, the Wachowski's <i>Speed Racer</i> movie, <i>Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles,</i> the <i>Transformers</i> franchise, the classic horror movie remakes that Michael Bay decides to release via his Platinum Dunes production company, or that goddawful looking <i>Jem and the Holograms</i> remake that somehow forgot to include the Misfits, Synergy, or you know -- any actual holograms.<br />
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The things we choose to fall in love with during formative years are hard to predict. They're also frequently quirky, steeped in the moment, and driven by personality. <i>Point Break</i> on it's own is a ridiculous concept -- someone is robbing banks, and the FBI is really worried about it, only they turn out to be surfers dressed as dead presidents, because WHAAAAAAA!?<br />
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But what elevates this crazy premise beyond just being forgotten is the unbelievable amount of hamming it up that literally all the actors and actresses in the movie just poured out. Swayze and Keanu playing it as if it's the most serious thing in the world, and just about everyone else in the film basically chewing up the scenery because they could clearly tell that it wasn't.<br />
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The whole thing has the energy of a made-up-on-the spot improv skit, an idea that is even further solidified by the fact that the script is so laden with plot holes that the only way this whole thing works is if each scene filmed is somehow crazier than the last. In a pre-YouTube world, <i>Point Break </i>feels suspiciously something that a bunch of buddies came up with in an afternoon and filmed with webcams.<br />
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The new one -- eh, not so much.<br />
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Making everything bigger and seemingly more important and dour helped move superhero movies out of the realm of kiddie entertainment and into something that people could take seriously -- but the problem with applying that model to movies like <i>Point Break</i> or <i>Roadhouse </i>or even <i>Footloose</i> or <i>The Karate Kid</i> is that it completely misses the point of what makes those movies beloved.<br />
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<a href="http://33.media.tumblr.com/5b0882e9b2934682fac588e4a3913b37/tumblr_nm4topGnKf1txoz52o6_400.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://33.media.tumblr.com/5b0882e9b2934682fac588e4a3913b37/tumblr_nm4topGnKf1txoz52o6_400.gif" height="190" width="320" /></a>Because when you boil it down, what these movies tell is small stories. Standoffs between two main characters, coming of age tales -- the most basic of tropes -- dropped into different subcultures and environments in an effort to somehow make it feel fresh and different. Putting attractive movie stars into the shoes of these people and giving them supposedly life and death stakes for their stories helps idealize them, wish makes it the sort of fantasy people like to project themselves into.<br />
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So when you clean up those rough edges and switch it around so that every stunt in the movie is that much more impossible and every single one of them sticks the landing, what you effectively do is polish all of the flavor right off it it.<br />
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It's the same problem I have with a band like Green Day wanting to look punk rock without actually understanding the aesthetic. If all you're doing is packaging and branding, then all you're making is product. Nameless, tasteless foodish stuff covered in decals to make you think it's something else that you used to love.<br />
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As someone who unabashedly loves the stupidity of a bad movie, <i>Point Break</i> is my favorite kind of disaster on screen. But you add in the fact that I've spent time surfing, and I was steeped enough in the subcultures being tapped on the shoulder to make this film enough that I recognized all the cameos instantly -- you might as well pin a tail on me and call the movie catnip.<br />
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Which is why the whole idea of it remaking it this way makes no sense.<br />
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Because really, when you take a property like this. Something that it's easy to see has become a touchstone for aging baby boomers and 90's kids getting their first taste of nostalgia marketing -- wouldn't the obvious move be to just feed that monkey? Make an over-the-top, pandering tribute not only to the original, but to the fandom as well?<br />
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What we should really be worried about in the age of remakes is that they take something that fans unabashedly adore (regardless of how good it actually was) only to give it back to us in a blatantly cheap way that essentially slaps us in the face with exactly what we claim to love.<br />
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Oh you like McDonalds hamburgers -- all right then, lets supersize it.<br />
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But that's not what's happening. Time and time again remake properties and franchise reboots seem to be actively <i>running away</i> from legacy. Away from the staples of fan adoration (whether direct or iconic) that can easily be found and quantified with a few moments of internet surfing. Away from cheesy and predictable cameos from characters in the original movie. And it's hard not to wonder why?<br />
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If the hollywood studio heads are what we've been told they are -- then you'd think the lure of this easy money and marketing buzz would be irresistible. Seeing just how much excitement is happening around just trailers for the new Star Wars movie as it leans heavily on references and old cast cameos would make you think that's all we would be getting anymore.<br />
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But instead we're getting the equivalent of the prequels. Something with a recognizable name on the cover but literally nothing familiar to be found inside. Do you love swashbuckling space operas? Well here's a story of trade policy arbitrations starring a little kid.<br />
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I mean, the whole idea of the remake machine is based on buzz, right? You announce that you're remaking something early so that all the buzz gets going on the web -- you capitalize on that energy by leaking casting rumors and stoking the flame -- in the hopes you can do what all movie studios seem to care about anymore, which is to win the opening weekend.<br />
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But if you deliver a movie -- on purpose -- that seems to have <i>nothing </i>to do with the original property, in a world where that same internet can sniff it out and plaster all over twitter how much the finished product ignores the legacy of the original, effectively turning all your potential customers into outraged potential thinkpiece writers -- the question you have to ask is <i>why?</i><br />
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And I'll admit it -- as much as I'd prefer original stories and properties, there's part of me that's not immune to the idea of seeing things I loved as a kid come back. Especially with the advances in special effects we have now, and the way that ironic humor and riffing on the excesses of past cultures has become a thing -- the potential for a totally awesome, utterly self-deprecating update to a movie like <i>Point Break</i> that winks knowingly at the audience while simultaneously delivering the fake-est of fake CGI stunts had my interest piqued.<br />
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But they already did that. 7 times in fact, with Vin Diesel and the Rock.<br />
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So the answer to that problem was to do <i>the exact same thing,</i> but with actors you'd never heard of and apparently a freaking senate hearing to decide what should be done about these extreme athletes because now the whole world is somehow at risk because of them?<br />
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That makes no sense. Like, at all.<br />
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Hexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08075361498418228218noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3322728.post-74150023321927748432015-05-24T11:27:00.000-05:002015-05-26T13:14:31.668-05:00Who Killed the World?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Too many times I've opened up the editing interface for this blog with an idea. Some sort of loose concept of an theme I feel like I can work with. Not necessarily a beginning, middle, and end -- but enough of a framework that I feel like a healthy amount of riffing will eventually be able to chip away enough marble to reveal the structure underneath.<br />
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Armed with that -- I drive in.<br />
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Doesn't always work -- my drafts folder is littered with half-cooked gems, misunderstood foundations that couldn't balance whatever asymmetric crap I stacked on top of it, and more than enough silly bullshit to remind me that just because I can string together words like notes flowing from the bell of a tenor saxophone -- that doesn't mean the results are always music.<br />
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But if anything above anything has hindered how much output actually gets published on this blog over the past few years, it's a simple mantra that I've been repeating to myself for a while now.<br />
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Don't. Bitch.<br />
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Stop whining. Don't just make excuses or fish for sympathy.<br />
Nobody cares why things are hard. Things are hard for everyone.<br />
The answer to every question you ask is always the same:<br />
Fix it. Change it.<br />
Stop accepting it.<br />
Find a way. <i>Make </i>a way.<br />
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If you've known me long enough or read this blog or any of the other writings I've done for any amount of time then you know that's not always been the case. I've had my pity parties. I've looked back in regret.<br />
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After all, there have been bad moments.<br />
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A case could be made that a big part of blogging is whining. The diary tradition, the personal sounding board. I'm not saying that there isn't a need sometimes for "woe is me." I'm not discounting verbal investigations of frustration. I'm not refusing to see beauty in lament.<br />
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But <i>"why are things sooo hard?"</i> isn't writing. It's privilege.<br />
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..and privilege is bullshit.<br />
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So a lot more times than I'm really happy admitting, I've stormed into a post with something to say -- only five paragraphs or so later finding myself worn out on my own complaining. And If I don't want to hear it, why would anyone else want to read it?<br />
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Do I really want the true story of my life to be that there was always apparently five to ten purely circumstantial reasons why I couldn't find happiness? Wouldn't the time spent bitching about failed relationship after failed relationship be better spent making one work?<br />
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Exploring the road less traveled isn't supposed to mean never going anywhere.<br />
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<a href="http://33.media.tumblr.com/ccdd745be0eb5b606c2f1d5615239a57/tumblr_noxmowVjH61tulf80o1_400.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://33.media.tumblr.com/ccdd745be0eb5b606c2f1d5615239a57/tumblr_noxmowVjH61tulf80o1_400.gif" height="180" width="320" /></a>And so a lot of ideas. A lot of concepts and inspiration. A lot of stories have simply stopped cold because when I read back to edit all I could see were the complaints. The excuses. The whining.<br />
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A cloudy mirror staring back at my frustration showing me the reason very little of my writing has ever been published. The reason I'm not in a band. The reason I'm alone.<br />
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Simple truths. Common denominators.<br />
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Recognizing these things is useful. Dwelling on them never saved anyone.<br />
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Take what you can. Learn from your mistakes. Drive forward. Dive in.<br />
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Hexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08075361498418228218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3322728.post-31375133239251863502015-01-21T22:48:00.000-05:002015-05-26T10:11:25.961-05:00Unpopular Opinions<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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You ever have something on your mind and you just want to talk about it? Tangents of thought just zinging back and forth inside your mind, needing something, <i>someone</i> to bounce off.<br />
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I work in this small office. There's usually less than 10 people here on any given day, and like 4 of those are managers/bosses. The rest are Republicans (I feel fairly confident that the managers align politically that way too, but it's hardly the point). Unlike a lot of places I've worked in the past, there seems to be a clear line between what people chat about and what they don't. Bosses around here seem to actively avoid small talk with the rank and file, and perhaps in deference to that example -- the rest of the group seems equally uninterested in socializing during the day.<br />
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And yet -- out of of all days out of the year -- this particular morning following a State of the Union address where Obama all but trolled his opponents would seem like one of those where loose conversation would be rampant.<br />
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If anything I'd think I'd need to be making an extra effort to avoid small talk around here today. But it hasn't happened. There's occasional whining about Obamacare, but compared to other places I've worked -- these people seem positively <i>lazy</i> when it comes to being wingnuts.<br />
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But more than that -- there isn't really that much conversation at all around here at all. You'd think it would be refreshing, not to have to listen to politics or sports blather day in and day out -- but eventually the silence becomes deafening.<br />
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<a href="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_manqratkVP1qhuic5o1_1280.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_manqratkVP1qhuic5o1_1280.png" height="225" width="400" /></a>There's a lady I share an office with, but her main thing seems to be talking about cats. The other day she was given not one, but <i>two </i>cat calendars by coworkers and clients -- which she hung up on the walls and urged me to go through with her month by month, at which point I politely put on my headphones and feigned being busy.<br />
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See, that's all I really wanted. A chance to drown your bullshit out with my music.<br />
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And yet, the more time goes by at this gig -- the more the lack of simple human warmth seems to continually rise as a weakness. This place isn't just boring and uninspiring, it's <i>sterilized.</i> It doesn't feel like a workplace as much as it feels like a library -- and I'm really starting to wear out on it.<br />
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Then again, maybe it's me. Despite the fact that I'm relatively close in age to everyone here -- my tastes and habits seem pretty alien to the few who've tried to engage me. I like old cartoons and death metal. One of my managers is a friendly guy -- but he's deep into NASCAR and such, and whenever we've tried to find common ground there's rarely much to be had. Even worse, our differences seem so marked that even that occasional comfort in contrast kind of friendship that occasionally happens at a job when you get along with someone more out of a shared sense of struggle rather than any sort of personal compatibility only seems to go so far.<br />
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Over the years I've learned that hard way that engaging opposing political arguments only serves to poison the well at workplaces, and it's tough to share weekend stories with people who think golf and keeping their lawn nice is fun without having to constantly explain pop culture references or "what twitter really even is" or whatever time and time again. I'm not asking everyone to be current with everything in pop culture (I'm certainly not), but at least be interested in <i>..something.</i><br />
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This would seem to be the natural place where the internet would come in. Communities full of people who specifically, if not fanatically want to talk about things I'm into -- all at the touch of a button. And while I do spend what is probably an inordinate amount of time there, I miss actual human contact. The kind of nonverbal feedback you get from someone you're actually <i>talking to.</i><br />
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</i> I think what it really is is that I'm lonely. This place seems to shine a spotlight on how out of place I am, how isolated and singular my day to day existence has become - - and I think I'm running out of gas on that feeling.<br />
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It's probably a big part of why I made such a big deal about my little <a href="http://hexacorde.blogspot.com/2015/01/gasparilla.html" target="_blank">spontaneous trip to Tampa last week to see Periphery in concert</a>. Sure I dig the band, and got a certain charge out of flexing my ability as an independent human adult to do things I like to do when I get the chance, but now that I'm back and waist deep in this silent building with nothing but my office mate's cat calendars on the wall to keep me company -- it's becoming more and more clear one of the real bonuses of that quick vacay was the chance to be in the same room with a bunch of other people who had not only heard of the band, but liked them as much as I did.<br />
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Of course even that came with it's obstacles, as I was easily the <i>oldest </i>guy in the room (nothing quite like repeately being called <i>sir</i> at a prog metal show) -- but once you start trading shots in the moshpit and headbanging along with the breakdowns it's not like any of that really matters.<br />
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It's just that after the show when everyone went back to their respective corners and regular hangouts to gush about how much fun they just had, I didn't really have anywhere to go.<br />
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There was this point during the show where I was at the bar getting a fresh drink when a young lady standing next to me asked me what my cologne was and complimented me on it. We struck up small talk while we waited for the bartender's attention. She was in town with friends, travelling from Long Island -- didn't even really know the bands but was liking what she heard so far.<br />
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Was there a vibe? Who knows -- she was super young, and when her order came it was actually two PBRs, which suggested she wasn't alone (but could have meant anything I suppose). I didn't make much of a deal of it, there were plenty of friendly strangers at the bar -- always seem to be when you go to the Orpheum -- and when after she walked away with a friendly goodbye I never saw her again.<br />
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Whether she faded into the crowd back to her friends or was just some wishful figment of my imagination I guess I'll never really know. I walked around the main drag in Ybor for a good while before settling down in a little dive bar for a nightcap, and I saw all kinds of people I'd noticed at the concert (including a few members of the band who wandered in for some post-show food), but not her.<br />
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Like I said, she was super young anyways -- so all this talk is basically just that. But how cool would it have been to be at that show and look across the room to find someone else who was just there looking for people their age with common (if eccentric) interests and be all like:<br />
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Even now, as I've come back to my regular routine, the fact that I don't really have anyone to gush over the concert experience (or the pending release of the band's new double album) in the kind of detail that two only people who actually are into the same sort of stuff can have is driving me a little crazy.<br />
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I mean, seriously -- how amazing is this?<br />
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..Well, I like it anyways.<br />
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My longtime friends have put up with my tendency to go on jags about certain bands for years (ask Gristina about the Zappa years, or my recent overload on Snarky Puppy). They can't always get on board with the specific bands -- but at least they understand how much fun a mosh pit can be.<br />
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Somebody at work asked how my trip was, and when I told them I was at a death metal show all they could do was put the work they needed done on my desk and then back away slowly.<br />
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..Weirdos.</blockquote>
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[Now Playing: <span style="color: blue;">The Dillinger Escape Plan </span>- <em><span style="color: blue;">"Prancer"</span></em> ]</div>
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Hexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08075361498418228218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3322728.post-7266462250029678722015-01-09T17:15:00.000-05:002015-01-09T18:30:00.170-05:00It Ain't Vendell Villkie<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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The other night after finishing up homework with the kid, we settled into different activities. He jumped into one of the video games he got for Christmas and I opened up my laptop to listen to music and catch up on all the different streams of whatever that are out there.<br />
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Eventually I clicked over to YouTube, and among the listed suggestions for me to watch was an old Bugs Bunny cartoon (one of my favorite things in the world). So of course I clicked on it -- and the next thing you know I was off into a veritable wabbit hole of golden era clips.<br />
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The weird thing though -- whether it's due to copyright infringement or whatever, there's not actually a ton of Looney Tunes stuff on there. Enough to keep you busy for longer than you should be (which is probably true of most anything on YouTube) -- but if you're looking for something <i>specific</i>, like <i>Rabbit of Seville</i> or one of the Roadrunner shorts, you're likely not to find it, or even worse -- only have the option to watch a version of it that someone used their phone to record it playing on their TV, so that they could turn around and post it to the web.<br />
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And if I can take a moment to address those people? -- HOLY SHIT DO YOU SUCK.<br />
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There is literally <i>nothing worse </i>in the information age than trying to find video proof of a song or an old show or a movie quote or whatever and having to see someone's wobbly-armed flip-phone footage of their living room that may or may not also include a barely audible flickering capture of them pressing play on their DVR.<br />
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Anywho -- I'm watching all these old cartoon clips, when I come across a particular one from 1943 called <i>Fifth Column Mouse.</i><br />
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If you don't watch a lot of these sort of WWII-era cartoons, you might be surprised by how <i>direct </i>the satire is. For those of you who might not be up on the historical angle here -- the gray mouse/rat is essentially playing out the story of Neville Chamberlain, the British Prime Minister who essentially gave part of Czechoslovakia to Hitler as part of a treaty that supposedly would protect Western Europe from Axis invasion (and we all know how that turned out).<br />
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But as I was watching the clip, it was almost impossible not be reminded of the terrifying situation playing out right now in Paris with the terrorist attack on the offices of satirical magazine <i>Charlie Hebdo, </i>which left 12 people dead and a world shocked with horror.<br />
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For all my affection for these classic cartoons, there's really no way to ignore the fact that the clip above (and scores of others just like it) were pretty much played as propaganda to the audiences that saw them, complete with patriotic calls to duty and stereotypical if not racist depictions of the villains in the story.<br />
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<i>Fifth Column Mouse</i> wasn't a banned cartoon.<br />
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<a href="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/a/a0/Je_suis_Charlie.svg/220px-Je_suis_Charlie.svg.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/a/a0/Je_suis_Charlie.svg/220px-Je_suis_Charlie.svg.png" /></a>This isn't some secret treasure I dug up. It's public domain. It was the kind of thing that played on Saturday morning reruns when I was a kid.<br />
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In a lot of ways for an older generation, this might have been their <i>Charlie Hebdo, </i>or even just their <i>Daily Show. </i>It's the sort of thing that set the table for the political and cultural satire we see around us all day in newspapers, TV, the movies, and the Internet.<br />
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As Americans, this is kind of who we are. We project a lot through our commentary and our comedy. This is part of how we communicate our opinions about things.<br />
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So to see that same kind of spirit gunned down, to see jokes and satire -- no matter how sharply edged -- lead to violence and bloodshed is a difficult and frankly terrifying thing to process.<br />
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And look -- I'm certainly no expert on French secularism or the particular strain of Muslim extremism involved in the reaction. I can't speak to all the details and I don't know enough about the particulars to understand how offensive the images in those magazines might have been.<br />
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But c'mon people -- learn to take a joke already. </blockquote>
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It's strange to frame it all, considering that another recent incident -- the marketing of a Seth Rogan movie (of all things) centered around a fictionalized assassination attempt of real-life North Korean leader Kim Jong Un -- seemed to raise similar fears over how those who were offended by it might use violence to express their anger, an incident that ended with more or less a whimper, with the threats appearing to be all but empty, and the movie itself apparently being a stinker.<br />
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And yet here, on a different side of the world the outcome was far too real.<br />
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I don't want to live in a world like that. Even if history tells us that there's always been a shadow of risk for those who would use their creativity and voice to speak out against governments, religions, or even specific groups or people -- you'd think we'd be past it. That somehow a cartoon, regardless of its message, could just be a cartoon.<br />
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Which is why there has to be a response. There has to be songs. There have to be paintings, sculptures, blog posts, poems, comic books, editorials, and cartoons. There has to be a cat and a mouse warning us of the dangers of inaction in the face of aggression.<br />
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There has to be this duck.<br />
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[Now Playing: <span style="color: blue;">Derrick Hodge</span> - <em><span style="color: blue;">"Dances with Ancestors"</span></em> ]</div>
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Hexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08075361498418228218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3322728.post-42379324450514408982015-01-07T15:05:00.000-05:002015-01-08T11:34:00.199-05:00Sweater Dad<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I'm generally laid back when it comes to parenting. I try not to be too overbearing or hover, mostly because I <i>hated </i>that kind of thing when when I was growing up. Sure I needed to be told to eat my vegetables, but in general the more my parents repeated that sort of command the more I was inclined to hide the asparagus in my napkin.<br />
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My experience is that I tend to get better results through laughter than I do through instilling fear.<br />
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Everyone's different, and I'm not here to tell anyone how to raise their kids -- this is just what works for me. But more than anything, the one thing I've had to learn, learn, learn about being a parent is that the best teacher is consistency. Regardless of your approach, if you set and maintain a standard -- your kid is going to know it.<br />
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So really the only time rough spots come is when you hit new territory.<br />
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Maybe that's why people see the teenage years as so troublesome, because it comes with a whole new set of questions and challenges you haven't encountered before, and you have to model whole new sets of behaviors, create all new standards and rules -- all while changes are happening. Which would be hard work enough, but then there's all these raging hormones tossed in for good measure, and they make things plain weird.<br />
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Some days my kid is just.. angry.<br />
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Not like watch the world burn furious, but just <i>super frustrated </i>about ..seemingly nothing. You can tell something's bothering him, but even he doesn't know what it is and when you try to ask him about it he gets all snippy and loud, and it's easy to hear that as backtalk -- which can spin you off into a whole other thing if you're not careful.<br />
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The reason I bring all this up is that the kid and I have been bumping heads lately over something. Not to a disastrous level, but enough that it's a recurring theme.<br />
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<a href="http://www.news4jax.com/image/view/-/30571460/highRes/1/-/maxh/360/maxw/640/-/q389g5z/-/Mega-Arctic-High.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://www.news4jax.com/image/view/-/30571460/highRes/1/-/maxh/360/maxw/640/-/q389g5z/-/Mega-Arctic-High.jpg" height="223" width="400" /></a>See, all the buzz is that in the next few days Florida is going to get hit with a big winter storm, to the point where there are freeze warnings everywhere you look.<br />
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"Cold in Florida" is sort of a bullshit statement to begin with -- because even when the winter actually gets to us we rarely get it as bad as the rest of the world.<br />
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But it still gets chilly here, and as a parent that kicks in some weird reflex where you feel like you have to do <i>..something</i> to try and prepare your beloved offspring so that he doesn't end up a kidsicle.<br />
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The last thing you want to do is send your kid out into the one day of the year everyone knows is going to be cold without something to wear, except that we live in a place where no one really knows what to wear when it gets cold because ..well, it never really gets cold here.<br />
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So for like a week now I've been like, "Where are your sweaters?" Which is a terrible parent question to ask because it's automatically answered with the kind of <i>"I don't know"</i> response that could mean anything from he doesn't know or he doesn't really want to think about it at the moment to he wasn't really listening and he's just making noises with his mouth that resemble a conversation in the hopes that you'll soon go away and let him go back to his phone.<br />
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So, no help there.<br />
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So you look in his room, which is a disaster. If you're lucky you find a sweater there -- looks kinda small, but is it too small? When's the last time he wore this? He has a hoodie he wears all the time, and I bought him a heavier jacket last year, but will he even need that?<br />
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Him: <i>..I don't know</i></blockquote>
The forecast says it's gonna be like 30 degrees out on Thursday, colder than it's been at any point so far this year -- but they said that it was going to be really cold this morning too -- and been it's like 65 and sunny all day. It was almost frikkin' 80 earlier in the week.<br />
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If I sent him out there in a winter coat and a sweater and that hoodie he never parts with in preparation for this supposed arctic vortex rolling in and then for whatever reason it <i>doesn't happen</i> -- he'd either melt, or worse he'll take some of it off at school, forget where he put it, and then I'll have to buy him all that crap all over again <i>just in case </i>another one of these potential one day long cold snaps happens next year.<br />
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It's like some sort of prank Kobayashi Maru where as a parent you need to be prepared to protect your child from something that may or may not happen for like a couple of hours in the morning one day a year, or possibly when he's walking home from the bus. Or not at all.<br />
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But it's no problem, because I'm the <i>laid back </i>parent, right?<br />
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So eventually I figure the answer is to get him a new sweater. One that fits, one he likes -- kind of trick him into being prepared by getting him something warm enough to wear that he'd want to show off (and therefore not want to lose). Smart, right?<br />
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Well, you might think so -- but then you're not the kid who doesn't want to try on sweaters at all.<br />
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Suddenly your grand plan to be casually ready is met with a barrage of "these are itchy" and <i>"whatever you want is fine, can we just GO?"</i> (which is the fucking worst) comments right in the middle of the store and the whole thing becomes a huge pain in the ass that YOU DIDN'T EVEN WANT TO GO THROUGH WITH IN THE FIRST PLACE.<br />
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So yeah, my kid might show up at school tomorrow wrapped up in so many layers of cloth and knitted yarn that he might just not be able to move his arms or legs in any given direction, but so help me, he's <i>not </i>going to be cold.<br />
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Right, son?<br />
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[Now Playing: <span style="color: blue;">Leaders of the New School </span>- <em><span style="color: blue;">"Transformers"</span></em> ]</div>
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Hexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08075361498418228218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3322728.post-17680557797134903772015-01-06T16:07:00.000-05:002015-01-06T16:15:55.340-05:00Gasparilla<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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In about a week I'm taking a day or so off of work to head down to Tampa to catch one of my favorite bands. They're always fun live, the Orpheum is a fantastic place to catch a concert and a mosh pit at, and I love partying in Ybor City.<br />
<br />
To be honest. this trip is sort of an xmas present to myself. Periphery is just on the verge of dropping a new album, so they're sure to toss a few of the new tunes into their set. Plus I have the vacation hours to burn, so why the hell not?<br />
<br />
Maybe this isn't everybody -- I know my life looks weird when you put it down on paper, but every now and then when you look at all the trappings of being all grown up and adult with jobs and kids and bills to be paid and money you probably shouldn't spend where doing something monumentally reckless and incongruent to everything else in your well balanced patterns feels like a moral imperative.<br />
<br />
Yeah, I'm not as young as I used to be. I have responsibilities and obligations and all that crap. And it's not like going to a concert on a Tuesday is some sort of revolution, even if it's in another city. Twenty year old me would surely scoff at the whole concept and immediately get to work on some overlong blog post about it complete with movie-reference pictures and video links.<br />
<br />
But not going would sorta feel like a surrender.<br />
<br />
What's the point of being an adult if you can't do what you want? If you can't make the choice to do something you want to do?<br />
<br />
The worst kick in the gut about growing up is realizing that the most responsible thing you can do with all your maturity sometimes is to decide not to have fun. To defer the raw excitement of reckless and irresponsible abandon in favor of staying the course. To pay the bills, stay in on the weekends, and let the young bucks do all the dumb shit.<br />
<br />
Besides, been there, done that, right?<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">WRONG</td></tr>
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<br />
I wonder sometimes why I don't feel that more. Because I still want to get out. I want to get in the middle of it. I want my ears to ring. I want my muscles to ache. I want the miles on my odometer to have stories attached to them that don't begin and end with grocery store and parking lot at work.<br />
<br />
I don't know, I feel like I could spend a lot of words here thinking about how it all got here -- but haven't I done that enough on this blog? Haven't I spent enough lonely nights lamenting the reasons instead of getting out there and doing something about it?<br />
<br />
I'll be honest -- there are times when going to all these open mics, scanning the musicians ads on Craigslist, restarting this friggin' blog every year or so -- it all starts to feel.. futile. Like there's only so much window available and despite all the effort I might not have enough of an opening to get through anymore. Like there was a time when all these things were possible, and that time is all but past.<br />
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It's a shadow that hangs over, a chill in the air -- like there's a constant battle going on between the frustration I feel over not being able to be the version of myself that I want versus the idea that settling in to the things I have around me and being really good at my job or saving money or whatever is where my focus should turn to, since that's actually who I actually ended up being.<br />
<br />
Like I already lost and I just don't want to admit it yet.<br />
<br />
I'm a parent with a corporate job. Health insurance and homework -- that's what it's supposed to be all about anymore. Anything beyond that should be able to be handled by of Netflix, Spotify, or Pornhub, right?<br />
<br />
But I don't feel that way. I never feel that way.<br />
<br />
This is a big part of the reason I dedicated myself to my music over the past year of so in a way I hadn't before. I saw a lot of people who believed in me and wanted me to do well start to lose that faith. It's like a mirror was placed in front of me, and the reflection was starting to turn away.<br />
<br />
There's nothing worse than feeling like a part of yourself is being locked away. Like you're not being allowed to shine. Even worse if you're the one holding the key to your own deadbolt.<br />
<br />
I did that for enough years. I don't want to do that anymore.<br />
<br />
So I'm going to a jam Friday night. Then I'll wake up the next morning and hit a Saturday morning session.<br />
<br />
But I'm gonna miss the one next Tuesday.<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
Because I'll be at the show.</blockquote>
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[Now Playing: <span style="color: blue;">D'Angelo</span> - <em><span style="color: blue;">"Betray My Heart"</span></em> ]<br />
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Hexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08075361498418228218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3322728.post-60647949311554907872015-01-05T15:21:00.000-05:002015-01-05T15:39:35.283-05:00Blame It On My A.D.D.Late to the party or not, I'll probably never, ever tire of watching this.<br />
<img border="0" src="http://i.ytimg.com/vi/YrbY4hsNh64/mqdefault.jpg" height="2" width="2" /><br />
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<center><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="360" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/Awf45u6zrP0?rel=0&showinfo=0" width="480"></iframe></center><br />
<div align="right"><div class="media">[Now Playing: <span style="color: blue;">Periphery</span> - <em><span style="color: blue;">"Graveless"</span></em> ]</div></div>Hexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08075361498418228218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3322728.post-9271040546799297382015-01-04T22:28:00.000-05:002015-01-05T15:11:29.317-05:00Get On UpDear Chain Bookstores.<br />
<br />
I know. You put comfy chairs in your aisles and bums come in and sleep on them. Teenagers make out on them. There's never enough chairs and so the guy who wants to sit in them when there isn't one available fires off an angry twitter post that reaches the CEO on the golf course, he gets all fired up to blame somebody and then you look like the bad guy.<br />
<br />
Put one comfy chair in your bookstore and you're basically fucked.<br />
<br />
But <i>this</i> is not the solution.<br />
<br />
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Maybe it's because the holidays just rolled through and I spent extra time trying to find things, but I feel like this "little quirk" is starting to become a problem. And I get it, a book isn't exactly something you can just grab and go. You want to open it up, browse through a little. Believe me, I like bookstores. The smell of books, thumbing through titles that seem interesting, seeing new covers on titles I enjoy. It's a nerdy habit, but I don't think it's a bad one.</div>
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But these kids on the floor. In the manga aisle. In the collectibles sections. Piles of them, reading their Japanese comic books backwards without paying for them. I'm happy you're into stuff, but could you do this somewhere else? </div>
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Look, I love pancakes -- but you don't see me sitting in the grocery store by the boxes. </div>
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Besides, it's not like you're going to be teenager forever. So like, where does this stop?</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEJL05lmKsAPR05thvstEcA1rtZ0podvb_HMFbKRK0mzpepilpt8nu5HqdKFTl2Cp2RyzpZV8DZe5vOoEwy7KZ8NFc64O8ux1aJFQrMaMPwoBhWtVBbwfZioU2YsdxkyDDyudl/s1600/images.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEJL05lmKsAPR05thvstEcA1rtZ0podvb_HMFbKRK0mzpepilpt8nu5HqdKFTl2Cp2RyzpZV8DZe5vOoEwy7KZ8NFc64O8ux1aJFQrMaMPwoBhWtVBbwfZioU2YsdxkyDDyudl/s1600/images.jpg" height="212" width="320" /></a> </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEJL05lmKsAPR05thvstEcA1rtZ0podvb_HMFbKRK0mzpepilpt8nu5HqdKFTl2Cp2RyzpZV8DZe5vOoEwy7KZ8NFc64O8ux1aJFQrMaMPwoBhWtVBbwfZioU2YsdxkyDDyudl/s1600/images.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"></a>Bring back the chairs. </blockquote>
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[Now Playing: <span style="color: blue;">Run the Jewels - <i>"All My Life"</i></span><span style="color: blue;"> </span>]</div>
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Hexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08075361498418228218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3322728.post-13285261569186499772015-01-02T15:16:00.000-05:002015-01-03T15:31:01.658-05:00The Festrunk Brothers<div align="right">
<div class="media">
<div style="text-align: left;">
Today while attempting to endure a nothing day at work I spent some time paying bills. Nothing too crazy there, I seem to be in a constant process of paying people or promising to pay them later -- but because we're again at the beginning of a new month, rent is due.</div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="text-align: left;">
Rent is the only bill I pay with a check.<br />
Rent is the only bill I send via regular mail.</blockquote>
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<a href="http://38.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m6pzp5FQD01qjxp96o1_500.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://38.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m6pzp5FQD01qjxp96o1_500.jpg" height="234" width="320" /></a>When you get right down to it -- rent is pretty much the only reason I even have a checkbook. It's absolutely the only use I have for postage stamps anymore. </div>
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<div style="text-align: left;">
I have a good landlord, I have a nice place. This is the way he likes to do things, so whatever -- shut up and mail the check; but it occurred to me as I watched my brain attempt to recall the idea of handwriting with appallingly shoddy results -- I had that moment where the generational lines sort of appear in my mind like a first down marker on a TV broadcast football field.</div>
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<br /></div>
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"Oh man, I need to void this check and do it again -- the letters are all uneven and sloppy."</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Like I was literally going to rip up a check and redo it over the concern that my landlord would furrow his brows over the undisciplined curves of my script and think less of me as a functioning member of society. Or worse, some amalgamation of all my elementary school teachers would rise from the ether and smack my hand with a ruler until I exhibited the proper form and style.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Moments later I still ended up jamming the thing into an envelope marked with equally awful scratching intended to represent sending and return addresses, but it's hard not to wonder if anyone under a certain age would even hesitate at this sort of issue.</div>
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<br /></div>
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Sometimes you come to these little fault lines in our world. Places where the efficiency of technology crashes into the edifices of the age you were raised in. </div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>THANKS OBAMA</i></td></tr>
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My handwriting was never stellar, but I used to have to use it for everything. People had to understand it in order for me to communicate with them, so I had to keep it at a certain level of respectability. Believe me, I was happy to step through the looking glass to a world where typing was king. Life got easier in many respects because of that advance. </div>
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But this idea that awful handwriting is the sign of a crappy education sort of sticks with me. </div>
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I think it's part of the reason the rise of social networking brought forth all the Grammar Nazis. All the comic sans haters. All the disdain for the increasingly abbreviated and codified way people communicate with each other online. </div>
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<br /></div>
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Once upon a time you saw junky handwriting combined with terrible grammar and you couldn't help but connect the dots. </div>
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Nowadays you just get <a href="http://jacksonville.craigslist.org/muc/4822435826.html" target="_blank">this</a>:</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhA36KmY2PBhcqWDYu2HX4QL5NyWmUmLXU0dGVrHn3yUBOgiQ2ZW_0gSxIoxGrFpVOR8n-tKCG__W1T3cpqgJc-ur3ZNnzblP5zW6UG9fxPck0REE0RL54CEwDn2MFAjkYYUy3C/s1600/CL+stealy+dan.PNG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhA36KmY2PBhcqWDYu2HX4QL5NyWmUmLXU0dGVrHn3yUBOgiQ2ZW_0gSxIoxGrFpVOR8n-tKCG__W1T3cpqgJc-ur3ZNnzblP5zW6UG9fxPck0REE0RL54CEwDn2MFAjkYYUy3C/s1600/CL+stealy+dan.PNG" height="184" width="550" /></a></div>
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<br /></div>
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<a href="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/6/66/Feels_So_Good.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/6/66/Feels_So_Good.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a>Like, seriously -- who the fuck is Chuck Manchioni?</div>
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This whole idea of your ad, this supposed "classing up" of the music scene in this town was all but invalidated the moment that you revealed to all of us that you somehow don't know how to spell "Steely Dan."<br />
<br />
And yet if I give it maybe two more seconds of thought -- is this that big a deal? I'm on twitter, I have a teenage son -- I've seen what passes for communication anymore. The guy who wrote this might be some hipster who embraces their ironic tastes without actually knowing what the hell they're talking about. Who knows, maybe he's just <a href="http://youtu.be/ax9Qfs3Bz3A" target="_blank">European</a> or something.<br />
<br />
Whatever the case, shouldn't I try to get past my old school hangup about how the quality of your communication reflecting on the kind of person you might be? Especially since I kinda wouldn't mind being in a band like this?<br />
<br />
Hmmmm...<br />
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[Now Playing: Thelonious Monk - <em>"Straight, No Chaser"</em> ]</div>
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Hexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08075361498418228218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3322728.post-31143684824932864322014-07-22T09:37:00.000-05:002014-07-24T09:48:32.342-05:00Blowfish or SharkI've spent the better part of the day talking myself out of just getting up, going home, and applying for other jobs. I like literally don't know what I'm supposed to be doing -- but I know tomorrow someone's going to ask me where it is, followed up quickly by why isn't it done.<br />
<br />
And yet, my fastest path out of here is going back to contract work. Perhaps equal or better money, but no benefits (which I need to make sure the kid can see the doctor when he needs to).<br />
<br />
It's been like this for a month or so.<br />
<br />
Ask for more work, consider quitting. Ask for help, check monster on the weekends.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyvcBV_Z_DnmyYjT4dWskQmRnmc0hnEnoJjM0ig-3ZPVGDCrJk3IbsKTBIw27LGgLyXWVLLwX-SNC9Q6BzGITw19qHb5NzwhS26kxZuIIw1HfB2RxVlZlrwkuEJQeOJ0gQFXgj/s1600/5987_10152946716995377_769378719_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyvcBV_Z_DnmyYjT4dWskQmRnmc0hnEnoJjM0ig-3ZPVGDCrJk3IbsKTBIw27LGgLyXWVLLwX-SNC9Q6BzGITw19qHb5NzwhS26kxZuIIw1HfB2RxVlZlrwkuEJQeOJ0gQFXgj/s1600/5987_10152946716995377_769378719_n.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a>Then when it does come, it's literally a text document of raw code, with the instructions "translate."<br />
<br />
I know there are people who have the ability to do that -- but I'm not really one of them. I never claimed to be in the interview process. But that's sort of the life of a tech writer -- you're thrown into unfamiliar waters, and with time and <i>training </i>you eventually learn to swim enough to get by.<br />
<br />
It's like moving to a foreign country to learn a language. You'll never know everything, but eventually you'll get to a point where you can make conversation.<br />
<br />
But if the training never arrives, if there's never an opportunity to immerse myself in the colloquial..<br />
<br />
The people here are nice (mostly). It's a really small company -- so I can't imagine no one's noticed just how much I don't do around here -- but it's not like I'm leaving work on the table. <br />
<br />
You'd think that would be awesome: Ask for work, don't get any, surf web, collect salary.<br />
<br />
And I suppose in some senses that is a perk. But honestly, I could do that on my own (minus the money part) at home.<br />
<br />
My former longstanding job was a mess of personal politics and managerial footdragging. But at least I felt like someone needed my skills and counted on my ability to solve problems. At least I knew I could get help if I needed it.<br />
<br />
I don't want to change jobs again. It's a pain in the ass and it messes with my finances, my schedules, and my time with my son.<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
But I don't know how much longer this is going to work.</blockquote>
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[Now Playing: <span style="color: #ffccee;">Mastadon</span> - <span style="color: #ffccee;"><em>"High Road"</em></span> ]</div>
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Hexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08075361498418228218noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3322728.post-25760439669754460322014-07-17T13:41:00.000-05:002014-07-17T17:00:17.497-05:00Pain & Gain Wasn't That BadPattern recognition. It's what we do. We see trends. We find common threads. We identify outliers. How fast we're able to do it as a species -- how clearly we're able to translate it into something applicable to everyday convenience or advancement, these are the things that basically drive science, technology, and culture.<br />
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But we don't all do it the same way. Or at the same rate.<br />
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Wanna make someone really mad? Clean their room and reorganize their stuff. Randomly adjust the position of the driver's seat in their car. Give them a pattern that should make sense, but is inherently broken.<br />
<br />
I would like to believe that we all possess <i>the potential</i> to recognize and understand the patterns that others identify -- but there's far too much history that suggests otherwise.<br />
<br />
Worse yet, two people can look at the exact same thing and derive their own individual conclusions from it. And since they came to those results themselves, ownership of those recognized patterns tends to lead to a pretty fierce sense of propriety.<br />
<br />
Find a way to convince people around you that your recognized pattern is the best/most correct/only choice and that sense of propriety can easily becomes tribalism. Zealotry. Nationalism.<br />
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It's what sets us apart. Enables us to push forward and rise above. But it's also what holds us back.<br />
<br />
Think about contradictions. About the ridiculous divides in your own thinking.<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
For example, I really don't like the taste or texture of a tomato. To my way of thinking, they're too juicy. Too meaty for a vegetable and yet not sweet enough for a fruit. Put tomato slices in a salad or on a burger and I'll likely pick it off and set it to the side. It's just sort of how I am.</blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
But oh man, do I love tomato <i>sauce.</i> On pizza, in Italian cooking, even ketchup on fries.. I'm <i>all about </i>that. </blockquote>
All of which seems perfectly logical to me.<br />
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I love <i>Star Wars</i>. I hate the prequels. I like the shitty <i>Transformers</i> cartoons far more than I like the shitty live action movies Michael Bay has been making. And yet I've seen them all. I know they're a mess. I know his "vision" for those <strike>paychecks</strike> movies has little or nothing to do with silly backstories created to support a toyline that was available when I was a kid.<br />
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But I still get really mad about it.<br />
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<a href="http://33.media.tumblr.com/065d52935d425f0cd6b62a2dfbd0702f/tumblr_msci9f1DU41sd5687o1_400.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://33.media.tumblr.com/065d52935d425f0cd6b62a2dfbd0702f/tumblr_msci9f1DU41sd5687o1_400.gif" height="307" width="400" /></a>And here's the crazy part -- I went into that movie theater <i>knowing</i> I was probably paying for a tomato, largely because the last three times I'd hoped to get ketchup I was given tomatoes instead. The tomato guy is sort of famous for his tomatoes, and even if people complain about the quality and ripeness, he still sells a ton of them every year.<br />
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Pattern recognition: No matter what they say, people like tomatoes.<br />
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BUT KETCHUP IS BETTER, DAMMIT!<br />
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Propriety. Zealotry. Territorialism.<br />
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I live in a society where the various privileges I possess affect my day to day existence far more than any sort of fight for survival or identity. So this is the crap I get all bent out of shape about, even though I know it's kinda stupid, especially when set in the bigger picture of things.<br />
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None of which would matter at all if I had someone to vent it all to who might banter it all around with me for a while, but then eventually close the book or tell me to let it go or fast forward the conversation to other things. But when you're short of someone like that (or think you are - despite the abundance of social networking platforms available for you to spew this sort of thing all over), and your new job is turning out to be a lot like the old one where you spend a lot of time trying to kill time with an Internet full of know-it-alls who are perfectly willing to discuss these things to death it can easily become nicotine in your bloodstream.<br />
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If you're a certain kind of smart, you turn it into something. A conversation starter. A basis for a subset of friends. A discussion group, blog post, or podcast. Maybe it strikes an iron and gets you trying to make your own films or write stories so you can "do it better."<br />
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Which, when you think about it -- is kinda how we ended up with Michael Bay movies in the first place.</blockquote>
There's plenty of reasons to hate the guy, plenty of problems with the tropes and trademarks he tends to favor. But recognize that half the reason we're mad at him is that we know (or want to believe) that he's <i>capable of better.</i><br />
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The reason I bring all of this up is that.. I think somewhere along the line I fell out of love with my writing. Or perhaps I just started to recognize my own patterns a little too clearly. Simply put, I caught myself repeating the same kind of patterns over and over. Playing the hits. Mailing it in. <i>Age of Extinction</i>-ing.<br />
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I recognize that I have talent for this, but for whatever reasons -- I found that I couldn't feel the fire in it anymore. The zealotry that had driven me, the need to establish my own propriety and voice had fallen into predictable patterns.<br />
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I'd love to say that once I started realizing this problem I took a step back and decided not to keep making the same movie over and over again, because artistic integrity is more important to me than box office receipts -- but the honest truth is something a little more problematic.<br />
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If you take some time to read this blog, or you've been with it a while -- it's not hard to pick out techniques I like to use. Put them together enough and you might even be tempted to call it a <i>style</i>, but what I always hoped along the way was that <i>I had something important to say.</i><br />
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Somewhere along the way I started to get the feeling that I wasn't really saying anything at all. I was just shaking the camera around and blowing shit up on the screen. Not because it fit the message I wanted to send, but because I was convinced that was what worked.<br />
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Coming to that realization was ..really disheartening. </blockquote>
I know I need to get it back. Not the habit, or the voice -- but the fire. The need to get it on the page. To shout the patterns I've identified to the world around me in the hopes that they can recognize and understand. To thirst for the debate of those who don't agree -- and to disregard the weight of knowing I'm not the only putz with a blog who thought the Dinobots should have been in the movie a lot more than they were.<br />
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[Now Playing: <span style="color: #ffccee;">Volumes</span> - <span style="color: #ffccee;"><em>"Erased"</em></span> ]</div>
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Hexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08075361498418228218noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3322728.post-36939874111972478052013-07-23T09:59:00.000-05:002013-07-24T15:40:07.856-05:00Worse Than Internet Dating<div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;">
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One of the funnier things you see a lot on internet dating sites like OK cupid or Plenty of Fish are profile blurbs by women that start off like “UGH, OK – I’M GONNA GIVE THIS STUPID THING ONE MORE TRY.. BUT I SWEAR IF ANY MORE PERVERTS MESSAGE ME I'M DELETING MY PROFILE”<br />
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Ideally, your dating profile is a snapshot of who you are. A little microblurb of your personality fitted together with your desires and requirements for a potential date partner. And yet, because sooo many dudes on dating sites are full of shit, what you end up getting half the time as your first impression of a woman beyond their profile picture is <em>exasperation.</em><br />
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I’m not back on the dating sites yet. I feel like that’s my next logical step, but I’m not really feeling it so far. Things too present in the mind, moments too fresh. I’ll get there again – it’s not like any of that mess is going anywhere anytime soon.<br />
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But it’s not the worst thing out there.</blockquote>
I’m not part of the music scene in this town. I know some players and a few people are aware of me. But to most everyone else I’m just a dude in the crowd. But I’ve been set on this goal of changing that – which has led me to the one place where people in my situation go: <strong>Craigslist.</strong><br />
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Craigslist has a section where musicians looking for other players can post. Where bands can seek drummers to replace theirs after band drama, or guitar players “looking to jam” can post links to soundcloud files. For a few months now I’ve been playing this game in the hopes of finding some sort of avenue to play in this town – and to be honest, it's kinda going nowhere.</div>
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It’s like I’m out here looking for Prince Charming, and all I’m finding is Carlos Danger.</blockquote>
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<a href="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v216/FujikoMine/Articles/NigelSpinalTap.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img bba="true" border="0" height="217" src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v216/FujikoMine/Articles/NigelSpinalTap.gif" width="400" /></a>Beyond the people who responded to my ad and never called back, were the ones who organized something and then cancelled as I was driving up to the door of the place to jam. I had one guy ask me to join his band – he said he liked my style, only to find out that his band only plays modern pop-country music, which is nothing like the playing sample I posted online. It’s ok though, <em>he never bothered to ask the rest of his band if it was cool to look for other guitar players,</em> and there was to be a BAND MEETING to discuss the consequences of his actions and decide if he should get kicked off of Carrie Underwood island or not.</div>
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And that's all <em>before </em>I got an email from a guy that plays the recorder and wants to do MC5 covers.</div>
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My most promising lead so far has been a guy who texts in ALL CAPS who sent me a song list he wants me to learn so we can play at a series of gigs he’s already booked. Nevermind that I’ve never actually met the guy or played any music of any kind with him, we’re literally counting down to a night where we’ll be on stage in front of people <em>even if we don't rehearse at all first</em>.</div>
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The song list is about 50 tracks long.</div>
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35 of the tunes are by Lynrd Skynrd.</div>
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And almost as soon as I hear that, there’s an all-too familiar voice ringing in my mind saying, “So what? If you want to play in this town, this is what you’ve got to do. Take the steps, it’s all work towards a bigger goal.”</div>
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She’s right of course, but there’s also Bob Seeger and Kid Rock on this setlist.</div>
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One of the issues of course is the town. I could eventually find and join some crazy techno-metal prog outfit and be creatively happy as a clam, but it’s not like a group like that would be able to perform very many places.</div>
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The scene in this town is sorta fractured. There’s a ton of cover bands, and then there’s a handful of original groups that seem to be born mostly out of the colleges. There is a terrible shortage of places that host live bands to begin with, but the divisions between these hemispheres are pretty strong.</div>
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For example I was listening to a few samples from this this <a href="http://joshuaworden.bandcamp.com/" target="_blank">indie artist</a> I sorta dig who is coming to play in town next week who is apparently from Jacksonville, and in his bio he was quick to point out that the best growth of his career came after he moved to Atlanta.</div>
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And while I remain hopeful that my efforts will eventually unearth a project that fits my talents and tastes –if I want to work towards being able to properly take advantage of it I need to get off the riverside and jump in the water. And the path of least resistance (at least so far) seems to be finding guys close to my own age who want to play NOW -- regardless of how much I personally dislike the music they want to make.<br />
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It's kinda like the dating sites -- where apparently I have very little in common with people my age on first glance, which makes me think I'd be happier running around with nubile young players half my age, even if it ends up that we have nothing in common beyond the most shallow of shared interests.<br />
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I’m a guitar cougar.</blockquote>
Earlier this week I <a href="http://ohnblog.com/newohnblog/2013/07/23/new-music-tuesday-072313-free-music-and-something-new-from-an-old-ohn-friend" target="_blank">reviewed an album for OHN</a> that a dear friend of mine who lives in New York sings on. Hip-hop and soul, just a fantastic multi-faceted vibe to the thing – all the while I was writing about it thinking to myself, “Where is <em>this</em> music in my town – where are the people who want to jam on <em>this </em>kind of vibe?” <br />
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Almost like what I really need to do is stop trying to fit my playing into someone else’s vision and try to sketch out what I really want – and then just seek that out <em>only.</em><br />
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But then I think back to all those exasperated and pissed off dating profiles on OK Cupid, and it seems like that’s sort of the same thing.<br />
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I know I’m rambling; I’m not really making tons of sense here. I was up half the night playing guitar at low volume, just sorta messing around with chords and licks, really enjoying just playing free. But here again this morning I’m looking at the craigslist ads out there and sending emails to people who contacted me about jamming earlier who I haven’t heard from in a while – and it all just feels like separate worlds. <br />
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Not that I’m giving up. Not that I expected it to be easy.<br />
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But that with so much great music out there, it doesn’t seem like it should be this hard to find other people who like similar things. It makes you feel isolated. Like your uniqueness is somehow a hindrance.<br />
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Almost like if I could be someone who could bring themself to liking Kid Rock covers in some dive bar, I’d get to where I want to be quicker. Like the answer isn’t so much searching for a match, but accepting the limitations of the atmosphere around you. Like if I sorta find a way to like terrible Rom-Coms or stories about your terrible job I’ll get more dates, which would mean what -- a better chance of finding what I want? <br />
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Or a better shot at just finding something good enough?<br />
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[Now Playing: <span style="color: #ffccee;">Joshua Worden</span> - <span style="color: #ffccee;"><em>"The Road"</em></span> ]</div>
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Hexhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08075361498418228218noreply@blogger.com1