Trick Mirrors

I can't shake this feeling, and yet at the same time I can't figure out where it comes from. This sense that even in the midst of all this sunlight you can find a cloud. I have no reasons, I have no proof. To be totally honest, I've probably got everything I need to believe that I'm completely off base.

But it's there. This feeling is always there.

       something's wrong

It's like an eddy of cold water running under your feet in summer-warmed waters, or a chill wind on a still day. It's this look that seems to go out of the window forever. Like something's brewing inside, like something or someone is on your mind. Maybe it's nothing. Maybe I'm still too far gone to be able to tell the colors apart anymore. But it's there.

     Is this the way things are going to be now?

Strange fast food catastrophe dreams, offhand remarks, things that I wish didn't drive me up the wall the way that they always seem to. So much that I don't understand, so much that I need to let go of, but can't.

Lunch today was nice. Any time together is nice, welcomed, and adored. It's just that there's something that's been broken in a way that I never expected, and I'm not sure how to handle it. Something strange. Something I need to fix.

         ...It's there.
         It's always there.


[Listening to: Van Hunt

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