The Man From Mars Stopped Eating Cars and Now He Only Eats Guitars

About a week ago we had a power outage that knocked out the preset channels on our television. So for the first time in quite a while I pushed the button and re-scanned for area networks. After a moment of watching numbers scroll on our screen, the picture returned. To our surprise, there were a bunch of new channels available for us to watch.

While the majority of what we found was religious programming and fuzzy-signaled network broadcasts from outside our area, somewhere in the upper reaches something really odd showed up.


This was particularly bizarre because I don't have cable.

But there it was, washed in static and interference. Late at night it would come in clearly, revealing some sort of hip-hop marathon deal complete with documentaries, old school videos, and those always hypnotizing MTV commercials.

Understand something. I haven't had cable since I moved to this city, so it's literally been like three or four years since I've had the chance to see a music video.

Can you say instant addiction?

Eryka Badu, Tribe Called Quest, Jurrasic 5, Public Enemy... man I was in heaven. But as the days went by, the signal started to get weaker and weaker. It's not like I'm getting this legally, so there's no way I can really complain, but night after night I found myself going nuts as the screen and the sound slowly snowed over.

It's gotten to the point now where I'm right up on the TV, like I'm trying to catch a glimpse of a scrambled porn channel or something. The other night Kim asked me what I was doing, but before I could answer, the screen flickered and I said,

        "Honey, look -- it's LL's hat!"