Grace Under Pressure is a personal experience.
Which made it all the more strange that I woke up hearing parts of it in my mind this morning. Shadows of choruses; lyrics just out of reach. Familiar and comfortable, but at the same time unexpected. Unprompted. Unsettling.
I suppose it's possible that a dream had something to do with it, but I couldn't seem to remember any sort of specific details from the night before. Besides, my dreams don't usually manifest my moods -- at least as far as I can tell.
Still, my whole morning has seemed clouded.. overcast. Unanswered questions, less than desirable solutions, all these threads of thought kind of wandering in and out. These conflicts of interest, these facts that I can't deny, these things that are always right in front of me to see and yet never seem clear or focused enough for me to recognize what they really are...
I did what I could to push it away. Busied myself with details and tasks, emails and phonecalls, housecleaning and errands, but it's like every now and then in those moments when sounds fade away and all you are left with is yourself I could still hear the songs that pulled me from my sleep this morning, and the shadowed feelings that always seem to come with them.
I still wonder if I'm doing the right thing. Or if I'm following the right paths for what I need to be happy. There are so many questions that I can't answer myself.. so many things that really are outside of my ability to control. I shouldn't let them have power over me, but more often than not that's exactly what I do.
I know the things I need to change. I know the things I want to have. I just don't think I understand yet how to get there from here. Or if I can at all.
but I've seen the tip of the iceberg...
Which made it all the more strange that I woke up hearing parts of it in my mind this morning. Shadows of choruses; lyrics just out of reach. Familiar and comfortable, but at the same time unexpected. Unprompted. Unsettling.
I suppose it's possible that a dream had something to do with it, but I couldn't seem to remember any sort of specific details from the night before. Besides, my dreams don't usually manifest my moods -- at least as far as I can tell.
Still, my whole morning has seemed clouded.. overcast. Unanswered questions, less than desirable solutions, all these threads of thought kind of wandering in and out. These conflicts of interest, these facts that I can't deny, these things that are always right in front of me to see and yet never seem clear or focused enough for me to recognize what they really are...
the world weighs on my shoulder
but what am I to do?
but what am I to do?
I did what I could to push it away. Busied myself with details and tasks, emails and phonecalls, housecleaning and errands, but it's like every now and then in those moments when sounds fade away and all you are left with is yourself I could still hear the songs that pulled me from my sleep this morning, and the shadowed feelings that always seem to come with them.
You sometimes drive me crazy
but I worry about you
but I worry about you
I still wonder if I'm doing the right thing. Or if I'm following the right paths for what I need to be happy. There are so many questions that I can't answer myself.. so many things that really are outside of my ability to control. I shouldn't let them have power over me, but more often than not that's exactly what I do.
I know it makes no difference
to what you're going through
to what you're going through
I know the things I need to change. I know the things I want to have. I just don't think I understand yet how to get there from here. Or if I can at all.
but I've seen the tip of the iceberg...
[Listening to: Sneaker Pimps, "Ashes to Ashes"]
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