X Sucks the Pedometer

Here's a tip for anyone wanting to know the quickest way to spot someone who's only got a few weeks left before the 15K road race he's entered and hasn't been doing a lot of actual running to train for it yet

Simply look around popular outdoor attractions and scenic routes such as Jacksonville's newly constructed Northbank Riverwalk to see if you can find anyone who is standing slightly bent over at the waist staring incredulously at the readout on a small blue electronic device that they are holding in their hand while shouting the following words through desperate, gulping breaths:

       One Mile?!
       I'm about to die here
       and all you can say is
       One fucking mile?
[Listening to: Gogol Bordello, "When the Trickster Starts A-Poking"

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