How Can You Have Any Pudding if You Haven't Eaten Your Meat?

Somedays it's all you can do NOT to clock somebody over the head with a stapler.

We're basically at the end of our school year and the teachers on my team are culling together votes for superlative awards (best overall, most improved, best dressed, yada yada yada) - you know, just one of those silly things you do when kids reach the end of the line and get ready to move on to the next school.

So I collect some names here and there and then I head over to our science teacher -- this total career educator/administrator battleaxe; and when I ask her who she'd like to nominate for "Most Likely to Succeed," she acts like it's the biggest hassle in the world and then actually says to me:

"We put entirely too much time and effort into
making these kids feel good about themselves."

It basically took every bit of professionalism
I had to keep me from going into the parking lot
right then and there and egging her fucking car.
[Listening to: The Cribs, "Mirror Kissers"]

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