Page 73 Girl Doesn't Even Know I'm Alive

Rainchecked and moneybroke. Double-overhead neurotic, running from the sleep that only brings more and more of these wonderfully torturous coffeebrown dreams that seem all too real when more and more anymore he know's they're not, and may never be again.

Peek in at me and read my Heart is a Lonely Hunter S. Thompson Hat manifestos and hear the Mike Ness chords I strum aimlessly inside the sheltering skies of this top left apartment that shakes and creaks whenever a truck roars by.

See, baby doesn't know any better so she swipes at my curling toes while the rantelopes run loose and unchecked across the veldt that I crouch along the edge of - hoping with instinct hunger for the sick or the young; but finding instead nothing better to do but to get rustbucket drunk on jager, tequila, and whatever else it is I've poured into this cup (?!) whilst I sing at the top of my lungs lyrics that do nothing real but seem to make everything better, even if it's just for a little while...

Shit!
Nothing makes sense.
So I won't think about it
-- I'll go with the ignorance
Eat, sleep, fuck and flee;
in four words, that's me
I am full of indifference.

What do the old people teach us
but how to die die die die?
what do those hissy fits teach you
except how to cry, pussy, cry?

The futile, the futile,
it outweighs the beautiful.
Futile, the futile,
it outweighs the beautiful.
Futile, the futile,
the futile
so...

Taste
I have no taste.
I don't like these tiny portions
or your artful abortions
of sound,
sealed with a kiss
slathered in the sauce sarcastic.
-- So go CHOKE ON YOUR IRONY!

What do the old people teach us
but how to die die die die
What do your hissy fits teach you
except how to cry, pussy, cry!?

Yea the futile, the futile,
it outweighs the beautiful.
Futile, the futile,
it outweighs the beautiful.
Futile,
the futile
the futile

So..

I'm eating rat poison for dinner.
Pull the cord from the phone -- I am dining alone
Tonight - Rat poison for dinner!
Pull the cord from the phone -- I am dining alone
So goodnight

Love
I shall not love,
yet I'll still sing about it
I hope it covers the ocean in SLIME,
the drama and drool
I'm leaking the blood of a fool
(I'm full of it, I'm full of it, I'm full!)

Rat poison for dinner,
pull the chord from the phone - I am dining alone.
Tonight - Rat poison for dinner!
Pull the chord from the phone - I am dining alone.
Tonight!!!

Oh I am dining alone
Tonight
Tonight
Tonight
               --Say Anything, "The Futile"

So come home from your clubs and your festivals and your mystery weekends, get off the goddamned boat-shaped cross I've let you nail myself up to and sing the fuck along with me for a while. Maybe after a couple of choruses your breath will smell like paint thinner too and then we'll pass out on the couch until the phone rings and someone needs me again.

Someone take this glass away
I'm not myself again, I'm someone else again..

[Listening to: Hed PE, "Crazy Life"]