...for twenty bucks.There are other things in this life I should be worrying about right now. There are so many other worries running through my head – but somehow this is what I carry into the office with me.
The weird thing is that for a brief moment I wondered out loud if that was the key I had been missing out on all along. If that was the secret to surviving this life – only freaking out about the things that society created for you to freak out over. As if George W and his cronies had started their stupid war just so that every morning my frustrations could have a focus, a singular place where I could aim all that energy instead of putting it inward and wondering about the quagmires in my own life.
Like I could even be that mercenary.See, you tell yourself not to let it get on top of you. You say that this is the bed you’ve made, this is the milk you’ve spilled, these are the cards that have been dealt.
This is the life you have...
But some days there’s nothing else you can do. You spend a whole day thinking about something in one way, clouds of wistful memories, remembered traces of touches just out of reach. You can’t help but type the address, you can’t help but look through the pages, you don’t want to stop the flood from coming.
And then it calls you on the phone and everything’s different.
Even if it was just for the moment, the scar is still revealed. The reality rains down through the holes in the roof and there’s no way to ignore just how lost you have become. There are things you feel that have nowhere to go. There are things say to that have no one to hear. It’s like someone has died, even though they’re still there.
The world that I miss
..the reality I’ve created.
[Listening to: Goldfrapp, "Ooh La La"]
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