Requiem in Between

Back in the day when I worked in radio, I’d sometimes wake up in the middle of the night on my days off totally convinced that I had somehow fallen asleep during a graveyard shift and forgotten to start playing the next song, leaving the audience with nothing to listen to but dead air. The worst part about it though was the fact that the dreams were so vivid that I would actually jump out of bed and run around my apartment looking for the button that would start the next track and save my job.

Fast-forward to Tuesday night. Stretched out on the couch at home, sweat beading on my brow, every swallow is filled with the bitter tasting casualties of the battle for my sinuses. The cold bug that's been shadowing my door for the past few weeks is finally entrenched, fully realized, and armed for bear. My voice scratches on the phone, sounding the surrender of sleep more and more with every word. If there was ever a real reason to call out of work, a legitimate card to play, this was it.

But there's always another shadow.
Always another clue to consider..

The following morning I was scheduled for an in-class observation by the principal of my school. It's something I've kinda been putting off, something I've dreading for a number of reasons, but at this very moment in time -- something I couldn't really avoid any longer. If it didn't get done Wednesday it wasn't going to get done at all, and it's one of those things that just can't be missed if you want to have any hope of keeping your job at all.

There would be no calling out of work tomorrow.

The real problem I had with this observation was that for all intents and purposes I wasn't ready for it. I had a basic idea of the lesson I wanted to teach, but I hadn't put together any of the materials. But bigger than that was the fact that my boss and I suffer from an utter difference in philosophies when it comes to paperwork. He sees it as vital legal documents that should be kept pristine and orderly in case we're ever audited. I see them it more like ..paperwork.

So my task Tuesday night was clear. Put together materials for the next day's lesson and whip my lesson plan book and other forms into passable shape. A last-minute job to be sure, but not an impossible task as long as I stayed focused.

...As long as I stayed awake.

Fast-forward to many hours later, twilight's glow sifting in slowly through the blinds over my window. Despite being sick and having to stay up all night long to get it done, my lessons are all set up and my paperwork has not only been completed, but put together in such a way that it appears that I've been keeping up with it all along. I distinctly remember snuggling up against my pillow in satisfaction, knowing that I could probably catch a short cat-nap before the day started. I even remember the words that came from my lips, sleepy-voiced through a yawn -- "I'm so glad I finally got everything done."

At which moment I shot up in bed, suddenly and horribly awake from the dream I was having about getting all my work done for my observation, shouting out loud to no one in particular

"Oh shit -- No I didn't!!"

[Listening to: Fischerspooner, "Emerge"]