This past weekend here in Jacksonville they held this thing called "BBQ Blast" -- Basically a three-day festival of food, Southern Rock, and Marlboro Reds. For a lot of the people who live in this city, those things mixed together are pretty much the equivalent of heaven. Imagine a place where you have to fight to be the first one to call out "Freebird," and you've pretty much got the picture. But this year there was an added attraction that rose above even the normal appeal of the event:
This weekend's jump across the St. John's River would cover some 180 feet and send Robbie soaring into the air until he landed safely on a ramp at the other side of the water.
He would have strapped on his red white and blue helmet, revved up his red white and blue motorcycle, hit that red white and blue ramp at top speed, sailed through the air like the mighty spear of Apollo
Sure, some guy jumping high enough in the air to clear a moving cycle would have been a cool thing, but which of the two options do you think would have been the most entertaining to see given the choice?
Kenievel tried to jump the fountain in front of Ceasar's palace in Las Vegas and missed -- twice. It seeemed like every third of fourth stunt he tried something would go wrong. It got to the point where people were more excited to see him screw up then they were to see him succeed.
In his most famous stunt he tried to jump the Snake River Canyon (the government wouldn't let him near the Grand Canyon) in some crazy jetcar-type contraption he built up called the X-2 Skycyle. The stunt had to be put off two or three times because he did a promotional tour where he would jump buses and trucks and then talk to the crowds about his upcoming canyon jump, except that he kept crashing during those stunts and wouldn't ever get the chance.
Finally a few months later Kenievel launched the X-2 off the side of the canyon only to have the parachute he installed as a brake accidentally deploy halfway across the span, utterly ruining the stunt and sending the vehicle to crash (ever so slowly) into the wall on other side.
People travelled from all across the country to see this. It was all over TV. Even in defeat a huge portion of the country's imagination was wrapped up in this human train wreck of a man who couldn't seem to get anything right, but always came back for more regardless of the consequences.
So yeah, 25 hours later when the winds calmed down and the conditions were just right, Robbie Kenievel jumped over the river on his motorcycle and landed without a hitch safe and sound on the other side of the water.
This year Robbie Kenievel planned to jumpRobbie Kenievel is the son of world-famous daredevil Evel Kenievel, who made a name for himself in the late 60's and early 70's risking his life in larger than life stunts and motorcycle jumps. These days he's too old, so his son carries on the family name traveling across the country and jumping over things.
across the St. Johns River on a motorcyle.
This weekend's jump across the St. John's River would cover some 180 feet and send Robbie soaring into the air until he landed safely on a ramp at the other side of the water.
But really -- where's the fun in that?You have to understand something here -- Robbie is going to pull this off. He's gonna make it. Cities wouldn't shell out the kind of money they did for this if they didn't think it was going to go right. Add to that the fact that he's got an entire team of planners and engineers working for him and it becomes clear that he'd never agree to do this thing unless he was 100% sure it was going to work. Things even went so far with this sort of thinking that on the day the jump was supposed happen he actually changed his mind and postponed it because of high winds and rough weather.
..Wuss.This whole thing annoys me, and I'll tell you why. See, I was a little kid during the early 70's -- the true heyday of Evel Kenievel's daredevil career. And if there's one thing I learned about Evel it's that he would have never backed out of a jump just because of a little wind.
He would have strapped on his red white and blue helmet, revved up his red white and blue motorcycle, hit that red white and blue ramp at top speed, sailed through the air like the mighty spear of Apollo
..and dropped into the water like a golf ball.A lot of people think that Evel Kenievel is famous for the amazing motorcycle jumps that he pulled off -- But those people are wrong.
Evel Kenievel is world famous because of the jumps that he missed.Dude once told everybody he was gonna stand in one place and then jump over a motorcyle that was racing right towards him. Except when he tried he didn't jump high enough and the oncoming motorcycle hit him directly in the crotch and threw him fifteen feet through the air in the other direction.
Sure, some guy jumping high enough in the air to clear a moving cycle would have been a cool thing, but which of the two options do you think would have been the most entertaining to see given the choice?
Kenievel tried to jump the fountain in front of Ceasar's palace in Las Vegas and missed -- twice. It seeemed like every third of fourth stunt he tried something would go wrong. It got to the point where people were more excited to see him screw up then they were to see him succeed.
In his most famous stunt he tried to jump the Snake River Canyon (the government wouldn't let him near the Grand Canyon) in some crazy jetcar-type contraption he built up called the X-2 Skycyle. The stunt had to be put off two or three times because he did a promotional tour where he would jump buses and trucks and then talk to the crowds about his upcoming canyon jump, except that he kept crashing during those stunts and wouldn't ever get the chance.
Finally a few months later Kenievel launched the X-2 off the side of the canyon only to have the parachute he installed as a brake accidentally deploy halfway across the span, utterly ruining the stunt and sending the vehicle to crash (ever so slowly) into the wall on other side.
People travelled from all across the country to see this. It was all over TV. Even in defeat a huge portion of the country's imagination was wrapped up in this human train wreck of a man who couldn't seem to get anything right, but always came back for more regardless of the consequences.
Let me put this another way - imagine if Paris Hilton was actually good at something.But even more than that, the guy was marketed to little kids like he was some sort of superhero. His face was on cereal boxes. There were lunchboxes and toys and t-shirts and dirtbikes that all had his name on them. Kenievel used to make guest appearances on The Six-Million Dollar Man where he would save Steve Austin's bacon. Steve Austin was frikkin' bionic, and he needed help beating up bad guys from the man who actually holds the Guiness Record for having the most bones in his body broken at the same time!?...Now imagine every time she tried it she slipped and fell on her ass.
So yeah, 25 hours later when the winds calmed down and the conditions were just right, Robbie Kenievel jumped over the river on his motorcycle and landed without a hitch safe and sound on the other side of the water.
..Booring.
[Listening to: Soil, "Give it Up"]
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