Messages from the past. Phone calls from the future. Somewhere on a deserted shoreline a voice sings out to you so full of happiness that you can't help but be swept up into it. And yet there are these nights alone where it seems as if I'm nothing more than some message tucked into a bottle bouncing aimlessly on the tide.
For every moment of simple clarity it seems like there are two more of confusion. It shouldn't be a wonder, what with all the dark clouds that have passed through my skies in the past few months, but sometimes I can't help but feel like all I can do is run from the sunshine that's casting these shadows beneath me.
Part of it has got to be the dark side of the horizon that's been laid out in front of me. That place the rays of the rising sun hasn't touched. On the one hand I've been given an open doorway. A place in my life where literally I could go in any direction that I wanted to. But at the same time -- I could literally go in any direction, you know?
There's a part of me -- a gift from my father mixed in my own hesitations and insecurities perhaps -- that tries to shy away from things like this. A part that cringes at big decisions. A part of me that I want to shed, but perhaps never will.
Sometimes I think I enable my own confusions. Let my foods touch, allow the flavors to mix. I'm not quite sure where it gets me, but I can see myself doing it now and again.
For every moment of simple clarity it seems like there are two more of confusion. It shouldn't be a wonder, what with all the dark clouds that have passed through my skies in the past few months, but sometimes I can't help but feel like all I can do is run from the sunshine that's casting these shadows beneath me.
The things that should make sense ..don't.Sometimes it gets on top of me. It's like I can't find a way to sort it all through. Sometimes all I can do is sleep, even when I desperately want to be awake.
While the ones I can't understand linger
Part of it has got to be the dark side of the horizon that's been laid out in front of me. That place the rays of the rising sun hasn't touched. On the one hand I've been given an open doorway. A place in my life where literally I could go in any direction that I wanted to. But at the same time -- I could literally go in any direction, you know?
There's a part of me -- a gift from my father mixed in my own hesitations and insecurities perhaps -- that tries to shy away from things like this. A part that cringes at big decisions. A part of me that I want to shed, but perhaps never will.
Sometimes I think I enable my own confusions. Let my foods touch, allow the flavors to mix. I'm not quite sure where it gets me, but I can see myself doing it now and again.
..and it worries me.
[Listening to: Deep Inner Voices, "Perfect Compromise"]
Comments