Welcome to Cowford

How can you tell you're living in the south?
When you see a house sporting Christmas lights -- in October.
I mean seriously, it's what -- two nights before Halloween? Even the frikkin' malls haven't started putting up their holiday decorations yet.

You know what the scariest part of this whole thing is? When you see a house like this, a house with Christmas lights on waaay too early -- you immediately know how it came about. The people living in this house weren't overcome with Christmas spirit. These people didn't spend last weekend perched on top of some rickety stepladder tacking those light strings up one by one.
They just plugged 'em back in.
[Listening to: Slunt, "The Best Thing"]