Craplehem

Christmas is going to be kinda rough this year. Rampant unemployment, car repairs (my alternator unexpectedly died two nights ago, which made the finding of my lost wallet especially serendipitous, since it took most of the money I had to get it fixed), and the fact that some of my closest loved ones aren't going to be around to share it with have just piled on to the point where I'm almost starting to wish that my favorite holiday of the year would sorta just hurry up and get over with.

My goal is to go Christmas shopping for my son this week, so I can give him his presents before he leaves to go share the holidays with his great grandparents in Detroit. He's a great kid and he's been pretty good this year but it wouldn't really matter either way, because I love to spoil him - especially at this time of year (which reminds me -- does anyone know a good place to get those shoes with the roller skate built into them?). I'm hoping to get a few more gifts here and there for my dad, my brother's family, and the other special people in my life -- but beyond that it's gonna be pretty tight.

At the same time it's not that big a deal, because the gifts aren't what the season is really about, are they? The real reason I get bummed out when I can't get the gifts I want to get for people is the same thing I love about this time of year -- the chance it gives you to show the people in your life that you're thinking about them and want them to be happy.

I mean you know how it is, you hit a certain level of adulthood and the present train just sorta stops. Sure you get things from your closest family and loved ones, but there's still something sorta sad about the passing of the "under the tree mother lode" that inevitably happens once you get past a certain point in your life. Of course the gifts you do get always mean more because people usually put more thought into them. You're not going to end up with toys you already have, board games you're never going to play, or a subscription to Highlights.

At the same time, no matter how corporate-driven or fabricated it might be, there's nothing quite like the experience of going through the month of December waiting, hoping, and generally going crazy worrying if Santa was able to find everything on your list this year, and that you were good enough to earn it. Then of course as presents do start to show up under the tree, there's the endless shaking, prodding, and guessing that you do when you think no one is looking. As maddening as it could sometimes be -- I always loved this part of the tradition, and anyone who knows me is well aware of my fondness for giving out surprise gifts without revealing any hint of what they could be.
This year my real present was finally landing a job so that I can try to get my life back on track.
But as welcome as that was, it wasn't the only thing that I was wishing for.

I happen to think wishing is a good thing. It's sort of like goal-setting for dummies. Most of the times when you create a wish list, what you're really doing is telling yourself the things you want - separating them from the things you think are cool or wouldn't mind having. A wish list is a line in the sand. It's a declaration that even in the most plastic of ways, your life would be somehow enriched if these things were a part of it.

So with that in mind, I'm gonna put my Christmas list up here. Now understand something -- I'm not asking you for any of these things. This is not my way of pandering for gifts. This is me telling myself that if I had a chance to sit on Santa's lap where the old man would actually take my list seriously - these are the things I would tell him that I wanted, even though I know I'm the one who will be trying to buy them as the year goes by.
There are a lot of things I'm not going to get to do for Christmas
this year -- but wishing for cool stuff is not going to be one of them.
So here we go:
An Incomplete List of Improbable Things
  • Ever since saw the movie Bullitt as a little kid, I've wanted one of these.
  • And if we're gonna discuss things that are out of my price range, I have to include this, this (talk about something I've drooled over for years), and of course one of these.
But of course, these are all sorta pie-in-the-sky wishes, the kinds of things I tell myself I want to get every year when I plan out what I'm going to do with the vast lottery winnings that I hopefully someday will win.
  • If there's anything I really need, it's a dishwasher for my apartment (although if I had one, I'm pretty sure this would be a daily occurrence)
  • If there's anything I really want, it's probably an iPod. I love my little knockoff brand mp3 player, but it only holds like 50 songs at a time. It's a great little toy, but it's definitely time for an upgrade.
  • On the other hand if there's something I shouldn't want, it's this. I play guitar. I have a couple of real guitars -- but I just can't help thinking just how much fun this looks every time I pass it in the store.
Realistically though, if I end up getting anything for Christmas this year it's gonna be little things. Not that I mind of course, I love gifts with personality. I think little things sometimes take more thought to pick out, and become easier to show off. Two things I can never get enough of are T-shirts and Coffee Mugs -- totally braggable swag items, you know?

The web is a like wet dream for t-shirt junkies, which makes it hard to pick just one favorite design, but they're relatively cheap to buy, so I'm hoping to get all three of these before the year's out.

Of course there's always a stack of DVD's and books that I'm looking to add to my collection from my Amazon wish list, but for whatever reason I tend to forget it's there -- which leads to it being filled with titles I have lost interest in or don't remember why I put it on there in the first place (or to Amazon erasing it completely, which has happened to me on more than one occasion).

When it comes right down to it though, I'm thinking that if I'm gonna get myself anything for Christmas this year, it's gonna be a new tattoo. I have a couple of design ideas in mind, but I think more than anything I just want to treat myself to the experience again, because I love it so much.

I will say this though, if anyone did want to buy me something -- don't. Make me a Mix CD. Throw your most recent favorite songs on there so I can put them on my mp3 player and listen to them while I work. Even after all these years the mix CD is still the perfect gift - because it's personal, reusable, and special all at the same time.
I LOVE getting mix CD's -- send me all of those you want.
[Listening to: Mercy Fall, "Insurmountable"]

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