Tip My Hat to the New Constitution

I just had a fantastic idea
I'm going to open up a bar. Well, I don't really need to even open a bar -- I just need somewhere for this thing to get started. Picture this in your head: You show up Tuesday night or whatever at your favorite local watering hole with your crew, throw a couple back to get your courage up, and then you sign your name on the line to take part in the newest craze:
CSI Miami Karaoke
All you gotta do is put on a pair of sunglasses and then stand on the stage. We'll give you a little flashlight to shine on things, and if you want a Versace jacket to complete the look. Then on a screen behind you we'll project footage of some staged crime scene - a body half under a burning car, a fishing boat sitting at the top of a palm tree, or perhaps a young couple sitting dead on the couch locked in a final embrace underneath the words "somebody set up us the bomb" written on the wall in blood.

All you have to do is take off the sunglasses (as dramatically as possible), and then offer a Horatio Crane-worthy one-liner that not only summarizes the crime scene, but somehow trivializes it at the same time. Once you finish your line, the opening of the theme song will kick in.

Here are some suggestions to get you started:
  • "Justice is not yours to dispense, and now you're going to pay for it."
  • "The problem with manipulation is that people can turn on you."
  • "When you have everything, sometimes it feels like nothing."
  • "You lie down with the Devil, you wake up in Hell".
    And of course my all-time favorite -- "I just found a murder."
The person who does the best (or worst, depending upon your point of view) impression of David Caruso wins an undisclosed number of bar bucks or whatever. Best of all, when it catches on it can easily be branched out into al sorts of other variations, like "Law and Order Courtroom Confession Karaoke," or "24 Frantic Cel Phone Call Karaoke"
I'm telling you -- this thing is gonna be bigger than Hula Hoops.
Who's with me?
[Listening to: Genitortures, "Velvet Dreams"]