Thursday, April 27

Three Hundred Twenty-Seven

In a place where train whistles cry and the night goes on forever there is a light.
Bright. Obtrusive.
Slicing through obsidian,
fading as it appears.
Artichokes become sweaters and northern states fly into bubbles. An unnatural break in a comfortable silence, each starshine bringing a new sparkle inside the oceans of your eyes.
the music       

..Dammit, Dan.
[Listening to: N.E.R.D., "Maybe"]

Wednesday, April 5


You can keep your stinkin' time change.
I've had enough of it, and I'm going back.
The first day it's scheduled you change the clock. Then the next morning when the alarm goes off everything seems wrong and backwards, because deep inside your body knows it's not six-thirty in the morning. Still you push on as if it is and go about your business, but nine times out of ten you spend that whole day feeling like you aren't ever quite in the right place at the right time whatsoever.

But that's nowhere near the worst part of it. The worst part comes a few days later. The worst part is today. Because after a having my sleep patterns gradually changed for the past couple of nights and trying to re-adjust my internal clock to the sight of the sun being up when I'm expecting it to be down - my whole system can't seem to figure out what is happening and ends up being completely out of whack.

Last night it seemed like all the subtle changes in my daily schedule caught up with me all at once -- so no matter what I tried I couldn't fall asleep. It was as if my body thought it was the middle of the day or something.

All night long I was loaded with loose mental energy -- strands of thought, tangents from every direction. One second I'd be thinking too much about things going on in my world, or alternately putting too much effort into distracting myself from it all with TV and books. That in turn was followed by this period where I was kinda mentally tired, but couldn't convince my body to wind down for the night.
That's when the really heavy TV watching kicked in.
I don't know -- I suppose there are better ways to go about it, but sometimes I'll just veg out in front of the tube in the hopes that the monotony of it all will somehow tire out my restless mind and allow me to drift off to sleep. The key is to find something that interests you enough to watch, but doesn't engage you enough to want to stay awake for. Ideally you want that one CSI re-run you've seen fifty times, or some movie you love but actually have somewhere on video.

Unfortunatley the more I tried to find something mind-numbing, the more I came across shows that intruiged me: Weird nature documentaries, music videos for catchy songs, or episodes of this late-night animated show thats been really been growing on me lately. At one point I was watching three local sportscasters breaking down the upcoming hockey playoffs. Mindless nothing interrupted by informercials and blipverts, all intended to slow my mind down and let me fall into slumber - only to turn into the most interesting things I'd ever had a chance to see in my life, tying up my mind and keeping me up waaaaay later than I ever needed to be.
Part of it I think is this growing sense of short-timers disease that's been growing in me lately, kinda because the school year is almost over - but also knotted up in the fact that I'm not going to be working there after this year. I kept giving thought to calling into work the next morning -- not because there was anything specific I wanted to avoid, but more that I just really didn't want to go.

Maybe subconciously I was staying up late in the hopes that I would feel too crappy the next morning to go in, I don't know. But whatever the case, I was utterly caught off guard when the alarm went off in the middle of the show I was watching.
I was so shocked by the sound I almost
spilled my measuring cup full of cereal.
[Listening to: Bullet For My Valentine, "4 Words (To Choke Upon)"]

Monday, April 3

Plutonium Nyborg

..No, it's not Cheez-its.
[Listening to: We Are Scientists, "Nobody Move, Nobody Get Hurt"]

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