Come and Knock On Our Door

I live with two cats. Both girls.
I am Jack Tripper.
There's Aja -- the smart, pretty one who runs the house whether I like it or not. She's been with me since I moved in here, and has been my constant companion through the good times and the bad.

Then there's Seka -- the cute dumb one who has trouble with the fineries of gravity and frequently gets herself locked inside cabinets and closets for hours at a time. They're best friends with each other when I'm not looking, yet continually vie for my attention when I am home.

But they are girls, so there are times when their hormones and moods do get the better of them. Usually this leads to constant yowling in the night and refusal to eat anything other than my food. Of course like all pet owners I put up with it because there's few things in life better than waking up with them curled up and purring against you.
Which isn't to say they don't drive me fucking batty once in a while.
Seka likes to break things, mainly by knocking them off tables or other raised surfaces, which is a pretty standard cat thing to do.
But Aja fights dirty.
Whenever the food isn't quite to her liking or the litter box isn't changed fast enough, she lodges a complaint. Usually she lodges it in a pile in the bathtub, but there have been occasions where these little butt post-its have shown up on furniture, and even the bed. It's not as bad as it used to be when she was a kitten, but it's still by far the most infuriating thing she does.

The problem is that it's also the most effective thing too -- because there's nothing like a pile of crap on my stuff to get me to change hers. Like the other day when I guess I wasn't paying her enough attention, which prompted her to squat on one of my guitar cases. I was able to get her in the litter box before things could get too messy, but it was infuriating just the same.

As she was sitting there I just stared at her, until I couldn't stand it any longer and I kinda shouted at her "Now you're crapping on my guitar case? This is madness!"
To which she just meowed
"This is SPARTA!"
[Listening to: Filter, "Skinny"]

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