Telepathy Now

Hello. Were we introduced? Are you a friend of a friend? Did our names fall alphabetically in line in the seating chart in Mrs. Prime's 7th grade math class? Is there anybody in there? Did we both take equal joy in tormenting Meg Hawley while she tried to teach? Did I build a set for your show? Did I run sound for your band? Did I buy a guitar from you? Were you dating one of my best friends? Are you married to my brother? Just nod if you can hear me. Were you googling the lyrics to a Shinedown song a couple of years ago and just happened upon something I wrote? Did I like your poetry? Do I come back to your bar every night? Is there anybody home? Did you stalk me online for a while first, message me for two years (in one night) and even then had to sort of hit me over the head to let me know we had more in common than just the brand of printer connected to our computer?
Or are you one of the people I see, find interesting -- yet somehow never get up the nerve to talk to?
I don't know why I'm like that, but sometimes I just am. If you live a thousand miles away from me I'm your best friend. But in situations where it's like "go here, do this, meet people, make friends" sometimes I just get frozen, and I really don't know why.

Sometimes it doesn't bother me. Sometimes the images on the phone and the memories in my head are enough. Sometimes I don't need the unknown, the small talk, the mind games, or the bullshit. But sometimes I just sit here on the outside looking in and it burns more than any drink I try to wash it down with. Because it doesn't feel like the doors are closed -- It's just that I'm not walking through them the way I should be.
Ok - Just a little pinprick.
There'll be no more --aaaaaahhhhh!
..But you may feel a little sick.
Times like this in my past I've looked to people in my life sometimes too much -- clinging probably too tightly to them in the hopes that their momentum could fill my sails, push me forward, and get me to a place I somehow wasn't able to get to on my own. But there's only so far that can go -- and only so much you can learn from it. Even if being a part of something helps you find happiness, are you able to maintain that flow when those things grow up, graduate, move away, drift apart, or file for divorce?
You are only coming through in waves.
Your lips move but I cant hear what you're saying..
It's like sometimes I get lost. Sometimes I look in the mirror and I don't know if I'm actually seeing myself or if I'm just looking for someone else that used to be there. Someone you used to hang with. Someone you fell in love with. Someone you still think of time to time. Someone you've never met, sitting just across the room in silence
..Not saying anything at all.
[Listening to: Deftones, "Passenger"]

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