A Song to Myself

Things have been kinda rough lately. It's hard to explain, and to be honest I'm not really sure that I fully understand it all myself. I'll be OK -- somehow I always eventually find a way to get through things like this, but at this moment everything seems heavy -- like sweltering heat after a rainstorm, or finding your favorite coffee mug broken in the sink.

It's nobody's fault -- but somehow it still. just. burns.

What I do know is that one of the few things that seems to help is driving nowhere in particular on empty streets in the middle of the night while screaming along at full volume to this:

It's so simple to look at every little thing i do wrong.
It's so simple to overlook every little thing i do right, right?

  i think too much, i feed too much, i'm gone too much, i sleep too much, i snore too much, i'm bored too much, i eat too much, i'm way too much too stuck... (up).

you're probably right
this time - but i don't want to listen
you're probably right
this time - but i dont even care.

i dream too much, i think too much, i step too much, those things too much, i am too much, i'm pissed too much, i need too much, i'm not one to trust

you're probably right
this time - but i dont want to listen
you're probably right
this time - but i dont even care

and if it was mine to say, i wouldn't say it
and if it was mine to say, i wouldn't speak

i'm bored too much, i need too much, i think too much, throw fits too much, i'm free too much, i'm pissed too much, i sleep too much, i step too often...

you're probably right
this time - but i dont want to listen
you're probably right
this time - but i dont even care

and if it was mine to say - i wouldn't say it
and if it was mine to say - i wouldn't speak

                           - Deftones, "Rikets"

[Listening to: Skunk Anansie, "And This is Nothing That I Thought I Had"]