Black Friday

It's the Sunday before Thanksgiving. Only 5 days left until hordes of crazed women tear each other limb from limb in search of the perfect Christmas gift that they could easily buy the next week without stress.

But then again, if you're the kind of person who wakes up at 3am just to go shopping at a mall with thousands of other people all trying to save five bucks then it's really not about the presents at all, is it?
Look ladies, I know it was Roberto Cavalli and all -- but holy shit! Seriously, I'm willing to bet real money that one of those women got home and found the remains of someone else's bloodied arm in their shopping bag, still clutching on to the other half of the handbag that she wrestled away from them.

I can just see it now, some event in Hollywood, paparazzi everywhere, Joan and Melissa rivers interviewing all the stars as they walk down the red carpet --
"Angelina you look absolutely amazing -- tell me who you're wearing!?"
"It's an Armani evening gown stained with the blood of the unworthy!!"
Still, you've got to imagine there's gotta be some sort of silver lining to all this. I mean sure -- all that crap had to cost an arm and a leg, but I bet it'd be a small price to pay for what had to be some serious after-shopping victory sex. I mean, I know what I'm like right after I get out of a mosh pit -- so I can only fantasize imagine what it must have been like when these chicks got home:
"I just killed three bitches for a dress with matching pumps -- get in that bedroom NOW!!"

[Listening to:    Dead Kennedys"Winnebago Warrior" ]