Hello From 2004

Cue the VH1 theme music. Call in Michael Ian Black, Sir-Mix-a-Lot, and any other sorta-celebrities that don't have anything better to do, because we're going back in time. Back to thinking a vote for John Kerry was gonna fix things. Back to every chick you knew falling over themselves to get a look at Orlando Bloom in elf ears, Paris Hilton wondering what a Wal-Mart was, and Janet Jackson's nipple.

2004 in reality was a year that saw me struggling through my first year of public school teaching, the last years of my marriage, and a lot of Eurotrash-sounding pop CD's that I thought were really important for some reason.
But most importantly 2004 was the year it seemed like everyone I knew started to get iPods.
At the time I had a wall full of compact discs, one of those little circle-shaped CD players, and a friend with a fast connection and a limewire account that let me download all the Bjork albums I wanted to without paying for them. iPods looked interesting (even if they were all the same color), but they were kinda expensive, and the software probably would have crashed my barely breathing desktop PC -- especially since half the stuff I was running on there was coming off Zip disks anyways.

But that all changed recently when I finally got sick of hearing the same 40 songs over and over on the knock-off POS mp3 player I bought for $50 to listen to while I trained for my first River Run -- headed out to BestBuy, and snagged me one of those 3rd gen Ipod Nanos with the short fat casing and the video screen that introduced us all to that horrid Feist everyone seems to love.

Because the moment I got that thing home, synced it up, and jammed those little white ear buds into my head -- it was like a hole in the floor opened and I was transported through the swirling lights and strands of space-time back to the same point everyone else had been when they first got theirs and wouldn't stop gushing about it.
I mean look -- all I have to do is sorta twirl my thumb like this and the volume changes!!
And the song names are all on these menus that you just click to get back to the artist names!!
And oh wow, iTunes counts the number of times I've played each song?
Playlists, Podcasts, and Party Shuffles -- Oh my!!!
But instead of it being all Marty McFly cool with me crawling across the floor on my back while I play two-hand tapping solos to a Chuck Berry song before I jump back in the DeLorean, it's sorta like I've ended up in some sucky half-assed Ashton Kutcher Butterfly Effect version of time travel where everyone I know looks at me like I'm a moron for getting excited over getting a complimentary iTunes download just for choosing the express shipping option from TicketMaster.
Come to think of it, I've been buying a lot of things these days with free downloads attached. Isn't it weird how..
Oh, you already went through that phase?
I mean don't get me wrong, I love the thing -- and can't help but kick myself a little thinking of all the hassles I went through when comparing the relative hassle of my knock-off model to the benefits of the Nano, but it's like I'm so behind the times with the brand name that I can't find anyone who can legitimately share in my noob excitement.

It even sort of works in reverse -- when my little boy saw it the first thing he did was turn it sideways to see if it did that iPhone trick he's seen on TV. When it failed to respond, he immediately lost interest, handed it back, and said, "I think it's broken, Daddy."

Shouldn't there be some sort of grace period for me to be able to act like getting a song for just $0.99 cents is really something to get excited about without everyone looking at me like I'm running around in a Bart Simpson t-shirt and tennis shoes with the little air pumps on them?

Seriously, Half my CD collection is on here and it's not even a quarter full -- How cool is that!?
..Oh, you said the same thing like 3-4 years back?
Well then fine, If you're gonna be that way about it -- I'm not
even gonna tell you about this awesome new turntable I just got.

[Listening to:    Bloodsimple"Running From Nothing" ]