Either that, or you find yourself somewhere that reminds youI don't know -- sometimes I can't help but be keenly aware of just how solitary my lifestyle is, and what I need more than anything is someone to talk to, even if it's just useless conversations about inane crap. Sometimes you just want to be around people, have something going on other than the bubbling of the lava lamp or the babble from the television set.
of the things you don't like about yourself -- which is never fun.
So I guess it's a good thing that recently Endo Exo has been experimenting with being open for happy hour after work (which is something they haven't done in a long time). A couple of times over the past week I've ended up there, just hanging out and shooting the breeze with the crew and the various folks who wander in.
Of course -- since hardly anyone knows where the place is, much less the fact that it's open during the afternoons now, most of the time I'm in there it's just me and the bartenders, which is fine -- since they're friends of mine anyways. The problem is, the two main guys working this shift are bachelors in the prime of their game -- who have no problems using the mystique surrounding their job to help them woo members of the opposite sex.
I mean, lets be honest here -- these are good looking guys who know how to play the game, and would (and probably do) continue the hunt whether I was there or not. But If I get one more wordless nod of the head accompanied with a motioning of the eyes towards the door, or a sudden need to "Close the place down early since it's only the three of us anyways.. You want a free one for the road?" I'm gonna take a hostage.As a result, I've been getting third wheeled a lot lately -- and it's starting to get old.
I don't know -- it's just one of those times when I'm feeling sad-sack lonely and find myself in a situation where no matter what I do to try and escape that feeling, I keep finding myself in situations that only end up reminding me more.
It reminds me of the situation so@24 had recently where he got together with the boys to hang out and swap stories, only to realize he didn't have any stories to swap. I mean, in the end it matters nothing and it doesn't change anything about what kind of person he is or the connection he has with his buddies,But I mean, what can you do -- Go into the bar and say, "Hey Ralph -- stop getting laid?"
But that doesn't make it suck any less.Maybe people are gonna read that wrong and think that everythings about comparison or whatever, but that's not really it. It's more about that feeling of negative resonance that it seems like sometimes you just can't seem to get away from, especially at the times when you're trying to escape it the most.
Leaving you sitting on the couch alone, drunkenly wishing you had a time machine, scads
of frequent flyer miles, or at the very least friends who get publicly shot down once in a while.
[Listening to: Bjork – "It's Not Up To You" ]