Looks Like I Picked the Wrong Week to Stop Sniffing Glue

So I just finished my second cup of coffee for the day -- and by cup, I mean travel mug, which at 16 ounces a go roughly translates into 2 regular cups of coffee per, which for those of you playing at home (Bueller? Bueller? Anyone?) means that I've had four cups of coffee since waking up this morning.

Not the best thing in the world for me I know, but it's a habit I've had forever -- and unless Dr. Drew Pinsky locks me in a house filled with porn stars, has-been actors, and at least one Baldwin brother, I don't see it going away any time soon.
But here's the thing: I kinda want another cup.
Although it probably doesn't sound like it, I've actually cut my coffee consumption waaay down from where it used to be a couple of years ago, and my two travel mug line is something I've kept pretty solid for a while now. But for whatever reason, today I'm thinking that I could easily do with another hit.

But I know myself better than that -- I'll pour a full mug for myself, have like two sips, and then be done with it. Which essentially means that what really happened is that somewhere along the line today I shorted myself about two sips worth.

In other words -- I probably didn't fill the mug all the way to the top enough, and now the junkie accountants living in the pleasure centers of my brain are raising hell. The annoying thing about it is that it's sort of a pointless jones. It's not like two more sips worth of caffeine at this point are gonna do anything to push me over the line at all -- but I'll be damned if I'm not going crazy for it.
Basically this is my system telling me that I'm not high enough.
I don't know about you -- but I'm not sure that this is all that good a thing. I mean seriously, am I really so well-calibrated that I'm actually able to quibble over fractions here? Do other junkies do this? I mean, is there a guy out there calling his dealer saying "Yeah, I need like -- part of a pill -- could you cut that up into slivers for me?"

I mean, I don't do drugs -- so I don't really know, but I can't imagine that dealers give out partial refills like the ones you sneak at the gas station when you're getting a soda from the fountain. There's no such thing as a spoon and a half of smack, is there?
I mean, these aren't Flinstone vitamins were talking about here.
I'm probably gonna hold off and power through without this extra little smidge I'm jonesing for -- but man oh man, is it gonna be a beast if I don't get some Thorazine food in me pretty soon.
Because no matter what this little widget says, I really
do want a little bit more (and a glazed donut -- to go).


The Caffeine Click Test - How Caffeinated Are You?

[Listening to:  Odis"Feel" ]

Comments

Werdna said…
I got extremely high excessive energy spastic.

I could have done better, but I didn't realize I could just go Steve Harris on the track pad and get about 5 clicks a second until 10 seconds left.

I really need coffee today (which I do about 3-4 times a year). I think I'll go get some.
The Ex said…
I totally don't see how people drink that much coffee. It would make me sick!
whatigotsofar said…
The key to weening yourself off coffee is to switch to decaf. I know, I know. You're going to say "But decaf tastes like ass." Well, I got news for you bucko, coffee tastes like ass. It's the caffeine that makes it addictive enough for you to willingly drink the ass.
So, if you drink 4 coffees a day, switch to 3 coffees and 1 decaf. Then go 2 and 2. Then 1 and 3. Eventually you'll be at four decafs a day. By that point, you'll be so sick of ass tasting coffee, you'll stop drinking it altogether.
I'm Frank said…
I used to drink an entire pot of coffee every morning. And then I'd have 6-10 cans of Coke throughout the course of the day. Lately I've been cutting back quite a bit. Only one cup of coffee in the morning, and no coffee after breakfast, or during lunch, or during break time, etc. I reward myself for not drinking coffee by drinking coffee.
Heff said…
Nice reference from the comedy classic, "Airplane!" by the way...
Satorical said…
258 clicks. Someone get me a Track & Field arcade game, quick!
Your coffee kitten said…
Your caffeine level for today is:

Near Death - Delusions of Godlike power


I am so ashamed.... okay maybe not