The Friday Hot Sheet

For a guy like me, political conventions are usually about as exciting as a root canal. Drumming up the constituents is cool, but in my opinion the real fight won't get going until after all this other grandstanding is done. We'll rev our engines, you rev your engines -- everything's really loud and impressive, but until that green light goes on and you're racing side by side (read: debating), we really don't know what you're working with.

At the same time, pre-season football is the television equivalent of those times when you really need to go to the bathroom but when you get in there and sit down nothing happens. You were all excited when you showed up but then a few minutes later you're just sitting there wondering why you even bothered.

And as great as the convention looked and as cool as it is to finally see football on TV again, if the biggest decision you have to make all week is between pooping or getting your teeth drilled -- then we've still got a long way to go.

So before my fantasy football draft starts up -- here are this weeks risers and fallers, and the buzz as it looks from here.

	McCain's Female Running Mate Announcement	I'm not really mister politics or anything, but that was awesome. Don't get me wrong here, I'm not much for McCain (or his party in general), but I love the way this guy fights. The timing of the announcement? The fact that no one saw it coming? This isn't the work of some old fogey with 7 houses and no idea what's going on -- That's the kind of move a guy who was locked up in a bamboo cage for 7 years pulls out. Honestly, it was like Darth Vader telling Luke Skywalker he was his father -- because now Obama, the guy that everyone thinks is so cool and balanced has to spend the next six months taking political swipes at a wife and mother. My vote hasn't changed, but I was among the many who were glad to have all the nastiness from Hillary wars finally be over, and now ol' man John has dragged us all right back in. Well played, Palpatine -- that was truly one for the ages.
	Obama's Speech	Even with McCain's move this morning, there's no denying the feeling you get when someone you want to believe in delivers a monologue like Barack Obama did last night. I still have my quiet questions, and he's still a politician, but there's no doubt that the man can flat-out flow, and it's hard not to get swept up in the excitement of it all.
	The Olympics	Apparently they're still going on.
	Fantasy Football	Is it just me, or is the hype for nerdball sorta down this year? Once the season gets going I'll probably turn right back into that same obsessive loser I always do -- but if I hadn't gotten the email alert reminding me of the draft, I might have forgotten all about it. Last year at this point I was making pre-season trades, talking trash, the whole nine yards -- but so far this year it's just been kinda meh, and I'm not really sure why.
	Endo Exo's New Sexy Female Bartender	Speaking as someone who's always had a thing for hot lady bartenders, the simple truth is that any monkey can hire a great body, put it in a low-cut blouse, and tell it to stand back there and take orders -- but that doesn't mean she can actually mix a drink. In fact, one of the worst things you can have is some cookie-cutter hottie who banks totally on her looks and doesn't know what the hell she's doing -- because then you're forced to ask yourself, "How did she get this job?" and the answer that usually jumps to mind speaks badly of all female bartenders (not to mention women in general). Luckilly, the new girl is not only a cutie, but she makes a mean caucasian as well.
	The Sexy New Bartender's Douchebag Friend	So let me get this straight -- You're the reason she got this job. Not her skills, training, or experience -- but your good word to the owner? How nice of you to say. And what's that? You're in the movie business too? You worked on The Matrix? You were part of the team that created the trailer for the Lord of the Rings? How utterly ..believable. So why, exactly -- if you have Tony Hawk and Bam Margera on speeddial (like you say you do) are you stumbling around a bar in downtown Jacksonville on a Tuesday night?
	Kanye West's "Good Morning"	It seems like only a few days ago I was giving Kanye props for sharing my love of Takashi Murakami's work -- which made it even cooler when I discovered the brand-new video Murakami made on for his new track, "Good Morning." Peanut butter in my chocolate? Chocolate in my peanut butter? Whatever -- the results are awesome, and have been in heavy rotation all week.
	Knowing Your Superpowers	It always made me mad as a kid when Superman didn't open up every fight with the heat vision. If you've got something that always works, then why the heck aren't you using it? Like if I were Voltron and you were a ro-beast I would say, "Hi, are you the bad guy?" and you'd say yes and then I'd be all like "Flaming Sword!!" -- Game over, sign some autographs, go get some beer. But all these heroes in the movies hold that big gun all the way to the end, and it just drives me nuts. -- Why can't we find a superhero who knows what their strengths are, and uses them right away?

-- Technically safe for work, but not by much.

[Listening to:  Jane's Addiction – "Mountain Song" ]