The Friday Hot Sheet

It was supposed to be a week where all I did was bask in the glow of the fun I had over Labor Day weekend while relaxing on my couch and watching the first real weekend of NFL football -- and it turned out to be anything but.

Without going into too much detail, there are things in this life that you experience that you hope you can learn to laugh about later -- and I caught more than my share of them during the last seven days. Hopefully the storms in my personal life will pull a Hurricane Hanna and high-tail it out of my area almost as soon as they appeared, but let's just say I would have much rather been sitting at home doing nothing than what actually went down. All that being said, it's not like the world ever stopped for me and my petty little issues, and that's what we're here to discuss.

So before the motards win this thing and we all have to go kill moose with our bare hands (except for j, who looked all day and still wasn't able to find one) -- here are this weeks risers and fallers, and the buzz as it looks from here.
I don't care if that bikini picture was Photoshopped or not -- the fact that there was a picture like this available to doctor in the first place is pretty good proof of the reason this whole thing should scare the hell out of you -- because the idgits are out in force, and it looks like they've found themselves a queen. I thought it had gotten to the point where it felt like it was an election between a young populist reformer and an ex-military hardliner, and because of that the dumbass vote wasn't going to be such a factor the way it had been in the past. But now everyone from Jamie Lynn Spears to Donnie Deutsch is calling her "hot" and "sassy" (two words that should honestly never be a part of a process like this) and she's on the cover of every supermarket magazine there is. At this point it doesn't matter if she's under-qualified at all -- if she starts pulling in the kind of voters who are looking for something to do now that American Idol is starting to get boring, we're all in trouble.
Oh Hell NawlPart of me worries that Slaus, Wanna, and all of the other regulars over at the OHN are getting tired ass tired of me leaving honky comments on nearly every post, but between the great music videos, the original comic strips, the fresh viewpoints on current events, and the hilarious tangents that seem to crop up in the comments -- it's pretty much my favorite place on the web right now.
Chad Johnson
Ocho Cinco
As NFL showboats go, I always sorta liked Chad Johnson. His touchdown celebration antics, the mohawk, the way he seemed (at least at first) to be able to laugh at himself -- there was a point when he came on the scene where the No-Fun-League sorta needed a Chad Johnson to shake things up a little. But now dude's gone into a Florida court and officially changed his surname to match his self-applied nickname "Ocho Cinco" after his team refused to put it on the back of his playing jersey. Seriously Chad -- do you have a mama? Because I did, and if I pulled something like this she'd have slapped me silly. Being a character is one thing. But creating a character and then expecting us all to buy his stuff is quite another. What's next, Ocho Cinco's -- the breakfast cereal?
John Stewart
and The
Daily Show
Man if there was ever a week when we needed your brand of insight and humor, this was it. At the same time -- kudos for not ever letting yourself sink too low into out and out name-calling, regardless of who you're picking on at the given moment.
Vin DieselDude -- what the hell happened to you?
Ann and
For finally putting their foot down over the Republicans using "Barracuda" as Sarah Palin's theme song. Not only is the song not about politics or women candidates at all (it's actually an attack on the record industry) but didn't it finally feel good to have one of your favorite artists stand up and say, "I don't care if you do pay royalties -- I don't want my art used in support of your bullshit ideas." Which unfortunately, isn't something that happens all that often *pointed stare at Chrissie Hynde, who apparently doesn't mind [anymore, after a legal settlement back in '97] Rush Limbaugh using one of her songs as his theme, even though she claims to disagree with everything he stands for*
My Fantasy
Football Team                  
Every year I run into the same problem -- I draft with my heart. If you don't already know, I'm an enormous Denver Broncos honk, which means that every year around draft time I overload on scouting reports on my own team, which invariably leads me to drafting far too many of the donkeys' third-stringers in the name of loyalty while everyone else is snapping up the LaDainian Tomlinsons and Tom Bradys of the world. This year I did my best to resist that sort of thinking -- and I think I ended up with a much better squad. My WR core is still a little suspect, but I'm hoping this bunch will win me a few more games than I ended up with last year.

[Listening to:  The Police"Canary in a Coalmine" ]


whatigotsofar said…
There comes a time in a man's life when he must let The Simpsons make light of all that he holds dear.
Hex said…
WIGSF -- although there are many things he and I share in common (Groening is a huge Frank Zappa fan) if I ever had the chance to meet him the first thing I'd do is say, "What the deal with you and my Broncos!?!"
Werdna said…
Canary in a Coalmine is underrated (as the policec might be mildly overrated). Great song.

PS. Your fantasy football team is doomed! DOOMED!

I don't really know but I hope you played someone who was starting Brady this week.
Hex said…
Werdna -- the secret is that my fantasy team is always doomed, regardless of the year.

I love nerdball, but I'm hopelessly bad at it. I'm hoping Jay Cutler will come through for me tonight and beat the crap out of the hated Raiders just enough for me to win my opener.

Of course, even if I don't win the raiders still need to lose, because I hate the fucking raiders.

Yeah, I'm that guy.
Heff said…
I'm starting to get the feeling you may be a Democrat, lol ...
Hex said…
Heff -- I certainly have a preference, but I have voted the other way on occasions in the past, and try to be even handed as much as I can -- but this particular election (and the people involved) are bringing out mr. one-side.

Why, is the bias showing up on my blog? *lol*
Werdna said…
Jay Cutler and Denver totally destroyed the hapless Raiders.

Brutal game to watch. I couldn't hang for the whole thing.

But it probably lifted your fantasy team (unless you had the Raiders D).
Hex said…
werdna -- Cutler's awesomeness got me over the top in my opener, and had me all kinds of happy at home. Now we'll see how the Broncs fare against your hometown Lightning Bolts this week.

Perhaps a wager?