The Friday Hot Sheet

Despite the fact that I've been updating a lot lately, I've kinda dropped the ball on the whole Thursday Thunderdome and Friday Hot Sheet thing. This always happens to me though, I come up with a good idea that I think will always be a wellspring for good ideas, and then after two weeks I can't come up with a damn thing for it.

Well, that's not totally true -- I had like a dozen ideas for Thursday Thunderdomes written down when I first decided to go with it, but then when I went back and looked at the list a second time, I realized they were all horrible mismatches and wouldn't be very compelling to read about at all.

Like one week I was gonna have a battle where I put up a picture of the desktop from my computer at work and then put up a picture of the desktop from my computer at home and see which one you guys liked better -- but when I was writing the thing up it suddenly dawned upon me that my desktop at home featured four naked women, and really -- no amount of pop culture references (regardless of how cool they might be) was gonna beat that out.

So I let it drop for a little while, and went on with my "boo hoo I'm so fat but I still love Cheetos and booze" thing for a few more days. But even if I can't keep the Thursday thing afloat (Event cancelled on account of boobs -- man if I had a nickel for every time that's happened to me..) I still kinda missed the Hot Sheet. I don't know how anybody else feels about it, but it's sort of a fun thing to put together.

So before I head out of here for the weekend -- here are this weeks risers and fallers, and the buzz as it looks from here.
USC Loses to
Oregon State
This is the second year in a row you've pulled this crap. If you don't want to be National Champions, just say so.
Clay Aiken Comes
Out of the Closet
Thank you, god. Honestly, the sheer amount of poon this guy has been blocking from the rest of us with his raging heterosexuality during the past few years was reaching crisis levels. Someone get John Mayer on the phone and tell him that our long national nightmare is finally over.
The Wheels
Coming Off
The Straight
Talk Express
I sorta thought I was having a rough week -- but damn, McCain, if there was ever 5 days you wish you could get back and do over, I gotta imagine the last few probably come pretty close to the top of the list. First the sassy chick you decided to hitch your wagon to turns out to be an idiot. Then you go and piss off David Letterman (good thing he doesn't have a nationally broadcast talk show where he can run you down every night to millions of American viewers, eh?). And if all that weren't enough, when big banks start going belly up and we're faced with the worst financial disaster since 9/11 -- you decide that you want to postpone the debates and suspend your campaign so you can work on the problem (!?) -- which is not only a ridiculous idea, but also suggests that you might have trouble handling two things at the same time -- something that a president might need to do every once in a while. Good luck at the debate, Methusela (you're gonna need it).
Sarah PalinI mean, if Katie Couric of all people cannot conceal her shock over the things you don't know -- what are the rest of us supposed to think? Hey Governor Palin, did you hear the news? Clay Aiken is gay. No, Really!
The New Drink
Matty Invented
in Honor of
My Birthday
Absolut Ruby Red, a splash of cranberry juice, and a shot of soda water. An experiment in flavor that turned out to be a glassful of magic.
The Name Bouncer
Nick Gave the
Drink Matty Invented
And I quote: "Summer Breeze Blowing Up a Dirty Whore's Skirt."
Good news ladies -- He's single.
7th Grade Teacher
Suspended for
Telling Female
Students What Color
Panties They Are
Here's the thing -- This incident happened at the school where I used to teach (I don't know the guy involved). One of the things that we rarely discussed at PTA meetings was the almost daily problem we had trying to figure out a tactful way to deal with the "thong issue" -- which was not so much that 7th and 8th grade girls were wearing thongs (because regardless of how we might have felt about it personally -- as teachers it's really none of our damn business) but that as young women who's sense of body awareness was only just starting to develop -- a lot of them simply didn't know how to really wear them without totally showing them off to everyone. And in this age of lawsuit overkill it was murder trying to figure out the best way to ask little Sally if she was aware that half her ass was hanging out of her jeans. We literally had meetings where it was like "If you see an incident, please tell a female teacher so she can come up with the best way to handle the situation." All that being said, when a 7th grade MALE science teacher ANNOUNCES TO HIS CLASS "Girls, if you wear short skirts and I can see your panties, I am going to tell you what color they are." your butt is going to get fired-ass fired.
This whole Bank
Collapse/Bailout Clusterfuck                  
Honestly, the only good thing to come out of all this mess is this picture. Way to keep me broke forever, assholes.

[Listening to:  24-7 Spyz"Jungle Boogie" ]


Anonymous said…
Summer Breeze... hmmm... my b-day's comin' up soon. I sure hope somebody gets me a dirty whore.
unMuse said…
i dunno.. I seem to think that our economy crashing, possibly worse than the Great Depression, is a little more important than the debates especially since Both sides can't come to an agreement with each other. But that's just my opinion.
Satorical said…
I'm so glad I live on the fourth floor and have a balcony. When the dollar collapses and the roving mobs hit the streets, my cat and I are gonna sit up here and laaaaaaugh.

Until, of course, I'm forced to eat my cat.
unMuse said…
It's been surprising to me how few people in the supposed real world care about the fact that there's a huge possibility of thousands upon thousands of people losing their jobs, flooding the market and instantaneously raising the unemployment rate across the country. Apparently people have no idea the financial crisis this country and its individual citizens will be in if the dollar actually does collapse... Or they just don't care.
The Kaiser said…
I think it's just that so few people have experienced a notable crisis in their lifetime that they have no reality on it.
I imagine that most people understand that the dollar collapsing is really really bad, but only intellectually. In spite of this, their emotional self figures it'll all be okay after a few days (or at worst a few weeks) of bad craziness because everything other major event that impinged on their life was mostly mopped up in that sort of time frame.

Besides, what is one supposed to do? I guess I could hoard cigarettes, AA batteries, gasoline, food and ammunition but I don't really have anywhere to put all that stuff. I already have a little vegetable garden in my back yard. Should I be making some sort of leather outfit and crafting a mask out of old sporting goods in preparation for my career as a neotribal barbarian warlord or what?
LadyShay said…
150 people were laid off at my job, and our hours got cut. I can smell the crisis from where I'm at. However, the bailout is just going to be a small dent, there are a lot more policies that need to be revisted.

I love The Friday Hot Sheet. It's one of my favorites, I think it's you and your spiffy arrows:)
Hex said…
wigsf -- truth be told, there's a bunch of us that are going in together to get you one. After all, what are friends for?

unmuse -- no doubt the economic problems are huge, but what does stopping the campaigns do to help? It's a crappy political move, and would have still been if Obama had tried it.

Satorical -- Who knew "I Am Legend" was referring to Will Smith's bank account?

Unmuse II -- A lot like Kaiser says, it's such a high-level thing that there's only so much we can do outside of being outraged at this point. I heard there was a group of people standing outside the markets in New York repeatedly shouting "No Bailout, No Bailout!" and really, at this point that feels like the most we're able to really do.

Kaiser -- I'm sorta with you (except for the vegetable garden part). There's only so much I can do at this point, and I'm not really ready to pack up everything on the back of a model-t ford and pose for the cover of a John Steinbeck novel just yet.

Shay -- Exactly, it's an immediate crisis that will probably require an extended, gradual solution on many fronts.

Lucky for us, spiffy arrows are always free.