Funniest Thing I Saw This Weekend

Outside of the Broncos defensive effort against Kansas City, of course..
You know what I wonder though? It's pretty common knowledge that Richard Gere is a Buddhist and spends a lot of time with the Dalai Lama, which you know -- whatever; if that's your chosen faith and you have the chance to keep a regular audience with your spiritual mentor, why wouldn't you take advantage of it?

But at the same time, The Dalai Lama is still a guy -- so I find it hard to imagine that even he would really want to skip out on a weekend of football to sit through like a movie like this.

But if you're the recognized leader of the Buddhist faith, and above all that sort of a Broseph (whether it's by choice or obligation) is this the sort of thing you can really get out of? In other words, if Richard Gere is moving to a new apartment and needs someone to help him schlep couches and bookshelves up the stairs --
The Dalai Lama's kinda stuck, right?
Not that you ever want to jake your best friend or anything, but can't you just sorta see Dalai on his cell phone one day saying, "Oh geez Rich, I don't know.. I was supposed to spend some time with Cindy and the kids this weekend. Can't you just hire Two Guys and a Truck?"

Because honestly, besides the fact that the script for this move is based off yet another awful Nicholas Sparks novel where white people fall in love with each other on some unnamed pristine beach where no one else apparently brings their screaming kids or sets up an umbrella -- it's also apparently set in a house that looks like it should transform into a battle mecha or at least be the perfect lair for a supervillain -- except instead of doomsday weapons and henchmen, all that's inside is Diane Lane and some Motown-ish song that used to be kinda cool but now only serves as an indication that there's gonna be one of those "We're stirring salad in big bowls and dancing around with wine glasses in the kitchen in preparation for our romantic dinner later on" montages that will lead to that one conversation where there's all this chemistry but then Diane accidentally mentions his estranged relationship with his daughter, leading Gere to get up from the table and stare out the window at the ocean (you know, that move where he leans his chin on his forearm that's up against the glass) -- before she comes up next to him and apologizes, leading to a longing stare and a passionate kiss before clearing off the dinner table to get down to the soft focus porn part of the proceedings, only to have Gere stop and tell her he doesn't want to be hurt again..

At which point the Dalai Lama won't be able to help himself from blurting out in front of the entire theater,
"Jesus Christ -- Close the deal already!"

[listening to:  Johnny Cash"Folsom Prison Blues" ]

Comments

Werdna said…
I laughed.

Richard Gere is a putz.

Folsom Prison Blues? hmmm... I like the man in black some (he gets a lot of run in SoCal for some reason). Didn't know you were into it.
Heff said…
Oh, shit ! That "why does my hamster smell funny" label killed me !
Heff said…
This comment has been removed by the author.
Frank said…
Look ladies, it's horses...on a beach.

You're welcome.





Glorious.
whatigotsofar said…
Even the gerbal up Gere's butt thinks that movie is a bit weak.
Narm said…
Even the Dalai Lama appreciates Dianne Lane.
JerseySjov said…
oh god people need to stop thinking that nicholas sparks novels are romantic. i do admit that i watched that one with mandy moore, but i could barely make it through the notebook. i mean, the big twist at the end is that the old people have sex? gross.
Alix Lakehurst said…
The Gere movie-blah but the soup excerpt was excellent.

I met the Dali Lama's son. I interviewed him. He hugged me. We talked ( I had been to Hong Kong already). Shit I couldhave dated him.

I was in awe. I'm not Buddhist. Yet hearing him speak about his father, the exile, religion, wars and the blame his father has endured; I went home cried then started making clothes for barbies again A week later I dropped my dropped poly-sci minor.

I would have followed him anywhere. And most likely died while doing it. So accidentally sewing my thumb seemed a better path.

I know I'm not funny in my comments but I've been there.

Oh and my dad played with Johnny Cash way back when. So NAH!
Hex said…
Werdna -- I get my Johnny Cash love from my dad, who gre up on him. Actually last week bouncer Nick hijacked my iPod and played it over the system at Endo, and immediatley zoomed in on my Johnny Cash library. The whole place was jamming out to it after a while.

Heff -- Like that one, eh?

Frank -- That's the line that killed me too.

WIGSF -- LOL, sounds like a great idea for a new movie review website. Instead of "At the Movies", it can be "Up Gere's Ass"

Narm -- She's amazingly pretty, but the movies she does are just ..awful.

Jerseysjov -- Nicholas Sparks is terrible. I don't get why even his readers like it.

Alix -- I heard a story where someone was talking with the Dalai Lama while Gere was hosting a visit, and he was joking with him -- asking if anyone ever came up to him and said "Hello Dalai?" and apparently the Dalai Lama laughed but Gere was embarrased by it and had the guy removed.

I gotta believe there's a normal guy under that robe, you know?