The Friday Hot Sheet

Here we are, Friday again -- and bless it's little heart, Florida wants to play this new make-believe game called "Hey, I can do winter too!" Oh, it's adorable -- there's all these paper-mache grey clouds, and rain, and somehow he's hooked up a little wind and chilly air. It's like a play that he's put on all by himself!!
Gold star for you, Sunshine State. Allllllmost took out a sweater the other day.
I didn't get an official memo or anything, but best I can tell this was officially the week that most people (including me) reached their saturation point with the election and just want it to be over with already. Even the new SNL clip where George Bush endorsed McCain seemed mailed in. The gag was funny and all, but there were clearly moments where Tina Fey seemed bored of the whole thing.

Luckily, Halloween is coming up fast -- which means plenty of time for those stories the news trots out every year -- namely 'Trick or Treating Safety Tips' and everyone's favorite discussion thread 'Have Costumes for Girls become too Slutty?'

To which my answer would be, "Hey, for $150,000 of campaign contribution money -- they damn well better be!"
Sarah Palin's
If this had come out a month or so back, the whole world would have been pissed, but at this point in the game -- is this really a shock? I know everyone is aghast at the amount of money spent, and it's just further proof that the small town governor doesn't really support "down home financially downtrodden values," but really -- if she was brought on the campaign to a) possibly sway Hillary voters whom the Repubs assumed would simply vote for anyone with a vagina, regardless of their policy ideas or qualifications b) woo the family values vote by presenting her as the image of the modern super-mom who also "ran things" in a high-profile government job or c) was cuter than Joe Biden -- then she sorta needs to look presentable, right? You can't tell me that all of her critics would have let it slide if she'd shown up to all these rallies dressed in Cherokee separates from Target or some mix and match getup from TJ Maxx. She was brought in to look good, so I don't see why it's such a big deal that they put her in expensive clothes in order to accomplish that goal. The other thing that sorta bugs me here is this whole 'Barack Obama has worn the same suit for 6 months' counterpoint that the dems trotted out as soon as this news hit. This is 2008. It's not like Harry Truman is hanging out the back of a train car anymore -- clothes and appearances are a part of this. Besides, I was at the Obama rally in Jacksonville -- and even if his clothing was simple and downplayed, my man pulled onto the scene in the biggest, slickest tinted-window midnight black tour bus you've ever seen, and I can't imagine that was any kind of cheap. Last week we had debates. Last week we were discussing real issues. Now we're talking about expensive high-heel boots and how much a designer skirt should cost? Guess what -- DON'T CARE. COULDN'T CARE LESS ABOUT THIS ISH. AT. ALL.
Things I'm
to Care
As a matter of fact -- lets just start something new here, because when you get right down to it, the world is full of stupid shit and there are really only so many hours in a day. So lets just do this: The Hills -- Don't Care. Saw V, VI, or VII -- Don't care. Madonna -- used to kinda care. Can name a handful of your older songs that I think are sorta OK, but since then you know what? Don't Care. You married who? Now you're divorcing who? Don't effing care. 30 Rock is probably the best show I'm not watching, but I'm sorry -- Don't care (what's that? Mad Men is actually that show? Sorry, my mistake -- still don't care.) Pacman Jones? Really, again? Suspend him forever. Freeze him in carbonite. Don't don't don't don't care. ALCS -- exciting, compelling, thrilling. World Series?       ..Don't care.
Folio Weekly's"
Annual Best
of Jax
Wherever you live there's one of those free weekly entertainment and opinion newspapers that feature local columnists and club listings. Ours here in Jax is called Folio Weekly, and I'm not ashamed to say that I love it. I've had stories published in it half a dozen times and look forward to almost every new issue that comes out. That's not to say that I agree with every article, but it's (IMO) a billion times more wired in to what people in this city are concerned about about than anything the local newspaper can offer. All that being said, the annual Best of Jax issue is a complete waste of ink, and has been for years. First of all, the same people win the same awards every year. And surprise surprise -- they all happen to be regular advertisers in the magazine. Seriously, I'm supposed to believe that people actually mailed in votes to decide who the best lawyer in town was (shock of shock -- Eddie Farah won it again)? Since when do people give a flying F about something like that!? If that wasn't enough, The Poles "won" the award for best surf spot in town just like it has for the past 20 years. I mean, is there an actual competition here? Is some other natural sandbar like really pissed off that they didn't make the cut again this year? Is there a man-made reef demanding a recount? But that's not even the worst part of the whole thing -- You look at issues like this in the hopes of discovering what the new, hot things in your city are -- only to find out that readers in Jacksonville named Carabbas the best Italian restaurant in town. Carrabbas. Really? Seriously? People voted for Carabbas. Nevermind the fact that actual local places like Nero's or Mediterrania are amazing and authentic -- Carabbas is a national chain -- How could they even be considered!? Isn't that sort of the whole goddamn point of having a "Best of Jax" issue -- to drive people away from cookie cutter shit like the Olive Garden and alert them to the fact that there are people here in OUR TOWN who actually cook? Big fat money-grubbing FAIL on this one, Folio.
Sevendust Live
at Freebirds
Last Saturday
These guys are amazing live. I've seen them a bunch of times but every show seems to get better and better. Full-on intensity without losing any ounce of precision from the original recordings of the songs. And the pit was flat-out gnarly. Normally mosh pits take some time to develop, and despite the violence involved it becomes sort of a fun little community onto itself. Not this time though -- because just before Sevendust kicked in with their set, 20 huge ass American History X looking motherfuckers showed up, and they were hungry for blood. The hitting was hard, frequent, and repeated -- and once it started, it didn't stop. They even slammed to Angel's Son, which is a ballad. Don't get me wrong, it was good times -- but I walked out bruised and exhausted. So yeah, those huge guys with biker beards and the tattoos that start on their face and go all the way down their backs that look like they'd just as soon kill you rather than just check your ID at the door and shine a mag light in your face? Guess who their favorite band is?
The Adam Carolla ShowI stumbled upon this show about 4 months ago while seeing what sort of podcasts were available to put on my iPod. I don't live in LA, so I don't know how the show compares to other things in the area, but I was always a fan of Loveline, so it seemed a natural fit. Since then it's become one of my favorite things to listen to. Carolla's kind of an acquired taste to be sure -- but if you like radio guys and sort of acerbic, sarcastic humor it's worth a listen. Of course as I've written many times, it's sort of impossible to explain what makes one radio show any good or even better than another radio show -- but there's a chemistry between the crew on the show that makes even repeated gags and improv games seem fresh, and although it would take like 10 pages to explain enough of the backstory so that you could understand the joke, some of the stuff that's happened this week related to inside jokes and practical jokes being played on the comedians and kinda-celebrities that Carolla hangs out with (Norm MacDonald, Larry Miller, Jimmy Kimmel, Sarah Silverman, Jeff Ross, David Allan Grier) have been among the funniest running themes I've heard since I've started tuning in. It's probably not for everyone, but if you like variety talk radio I highly recommend it. I should also mention that I stream the show online from a radio station in Portland, Oregon called KUFO -- which plays a really good mix of rock/punk music (IMO) after the show is over as well. Well worth a try if you get the chance.
A Cold
Look, I'll stay home. I'll mainline TheraFlu and sip chicken soup. I'll complain about my aches and pains and talk like a Muppet. If you want me to have a cold, I'll commit to it. But enough already with this goddamn half-in/half-out bullshit. I'm sick of waking up feeling great and then halfway through the day being sure that I'm gonna die. If I'm healthy as an ox at breakfast, can I just stay that way all day? Because once I go to work and start doing crap, that whole thing where my sinuses turn into a river by midday really sucks. I have sick time I can take -- and I will take it. So if we're gonna have a cold, lets friggin light this candle and get on with it, OK?
The other day I picked up my son from school, and he said he was hungry. I had to run a few errands, so once I got done with that I looked around for a place near the shopping center we were at to feed him. I'd never really been to this place before, but it was the only one close to where we were that seemed to have something close to the 4 basic kid food groups (chicken fingers, pizza, mac and cheese, candy) -- so what the hell? Turns out it's one of those custom burger joints that specializes in Bison meat. Sorta pricey, but I gotta tell you -- best burger I've eaten in years. Thing was absolutely huge, and cooked to juicy, melt in your mouth (but staying in one piece in the bun) perfection. I opted for beef over bison, but the real key was the toppings they offered on the menu. Everything from exotic cheeses and fresh bacon to a fried egg (!!) and even avocado slices could be put on there. The avocado one sounded really interesting, but it was my first time eating there so I went basic and opted for bacon, cheese, grilled onions, and sautéed mushrooms. My dad was with us, and the two of us just tore through our dishes. We don't have anything like In and Out or Fatburger here -- so perhaps I don't have the best standards for comparison, but for a meal that basically broke down to burgers and fries it was nothing short of decadent. And then, like all killer meals -- it put you straight into a nap once you got home. How can you beat that?

[Listening to:  Lene Lovich"New Toy" ]


Werdna said…
yeah the top places thing is bunk. I'm trying to remember my mom's favorite Italian place. Might have been Vitos or something like that. I'll ask her.

I've got apathy real bad about the media events. Don't care.

On the other hand I'm fired up about the Friday Hot Sheet! WOOO!! great job.

/me does the wave
Amanda said…
Ted's does rock for sure. They are all over the place up here, being a Turner joint. The one thing that sucks is that they've started using real paper recycled straws. I hate those damn things.

Must try the cookies. Must.
Adam said…
Have you ever eaten at Cruiser's (at the Beach)? I know it sounds like a gay bar, but the burgers there are massive and awesome. I went to Ted's Montana Grill once, and (stupidly) decided to have the bison meatloaf. WTF? It tasted like... meatloaf. So it was ok, but nothing too exciting. Should've gone for a bison burger over the buffaloaf.
Heff said…
Damn, Hex. How do you really feel, lol !
unMuse said…
I'm going to be sad when I leave Maine (with real autumn weather) and head back to Florida (with 80 degree autumn weather). I like 27 degree lows, dammit.
unMuse said…
oh and Giovanni's is the best Italian place in Jax (beach).
Hex said…
Werdna -- Vito's is great. There are actually a bunch of good Italian places here, and it's crazy that they get ignored on a list like this.

Amanda -- They have cookies too!? Oh man it's all over for me now.

Adam -- I'll have to check that place out, despite the name. After all, it's not like you suggested I try the Manwiches down at the Metro, right?

Heff -- Always do, bro. Always do.

Unmuse -- Maine is a place you never really want to leave. I know that first hand.

Unmuse II -- giovanni's is good stuff. A bit of a drive for me, but worth it.
Oh how I miss Ted's Montana Grill. You just cannot get a burger like that in London. Next time try the bison. It is awesome. My 9 year old loves the bison as well. Oh and their onion rings rock! Shove one on the burger and add BBQ sauce ;o)
Adam said…
Warren, et al - I moved to London about two years ago and I heartily agree! Although I think the food over here is excellent, they sure can't do burgers. The few times I've ordered a burger over here, I've basically gotten a salisbury steak on a bun. WTF?