The Friday Hot Sheet

Ah, better days. Sure they might seem hard to remember, but it really wasn't that long ago when your team was a little more competitive in the games that mattered, your bank account seemed a little more balanced, and the Hot Sheet actually arrived within a day or so of the day of the week it was named after.

Thanksgiving with all it's extra time off and sleep-inducing meals is admittedly sort of a crappy time to try to get back on track with the blog, but sometimes you just need to bite the bullet and, you know ..try to maybe get to it sometime Monday morning.

So while I microwave the leftover stuffing -- here are this weeks risers and fallers, and the buzz as it looks from here.
ThanksgivingDespite several kind offers from friends, I decided to spend the holiday alone. Things have been kinda down lately, so it just ended up being one of those times where I sorta felt like I needed a little space and didn’t really want to be a bummer for anyone else. I had a bunch of movies I wanted to watch, and there was football on the TV, so it figured to be a pretty lazy day. Unfortunately -- both NFL games were near-unwatchable blowouts, and the movies I had weren't much better. So aside from Cartoon Networks live Rickroll at the Macy's parade there was a dire shortage of distractions, and I started to get really restless. Eventually I hit the one grocery store that was still open and picked up enough ingredients to whip myself up a mini-turkey dinner, and buried myself into the preparations for that for a few hours. The eats turned out pretty good, and I happened upon a few entertaining bad movies on cable that took me deep enough into the night where I was at least laughing at the screen when the tryptophan finally kicked in and put me under.
 
U-571Despite my love for submarine movies (especially ones with U-Boats in them), I avoided U-571 like the plague when it came out -- largely because of it's star, Matthew McConaughey -- who was really just starting to go douche at the time. The movie also got a lot of press because it was Jon Bon Jovi's big screen acting debut. These two things alone were enough to keep me from watching it -- but late Thursdayt night I was flipping channels and happened upon a WWII sub movie scene that went on for like 5 minutes before McConaughey showed up and I realized what I was watching -- at which point I was too invested in the plot to quit. It also didn't help that the cast included Harvey Keitel, Bill Paxton, David Keith, and Jake Weber -- all great character actors that I love watching. So I'm thinking to myself, "What could go wrong?" Five minutes later there's a scene where basically everyone I just mentioned gets killed at once, leaving us with basically nothing but McConaughey for the remainder of the film. Of course when you make a movie about submarines it sorta doesn't matter who's in it anyways, because the real stars are the same as every other U-Boat movie ever made -- the submarine itself and the depth charges that try to blow it up. Like a lot of guys out there, I don't ask a lot from my U-boat movies. Give me a sense of impending doom, a bunch of guys holding their breath with every sonar ping off the side of the hull, and a lot of near-miss torpedo action leading up to that one perfect kill shot at the end and I'm usually pretty happy. On that front the movie more or less delivered, but even I couldn't get past some of the glaring plot holes and far too easy to spot CGI sequences. Then I did some reading online and found out that the movie was so blatantly inaccurate in it's historical facts that President Clinton actually had to write a letter of apology to the family of one of the original British sailors who took part in the actual mission the movie's utterly American plot was based around -- a fact that I can't help but find endlessly hilarious. I mean, can you even imagine what that letter must have looked like? "On behalf of the United States of America, I would like to apologize for Matthew McConaughey's acting.."
 
Florida 45
Florida State 15
You sorta saw it coming, but that really didn't make it sting any less. My beloved Seminoles have played their hearts out this year, but right now Florida's just a better team -- and by halftime it was essentially over. Tim Tebow will probably split for the NFL soon (although I still have doubts about his viability at the next level), which will leave us little chance for revenge against this particular squad, which is a shame -- because I really like the direction FSU is headed in, and suspect next year we'd be able to put up a lot more of a fight.
 
Journey to
the Center
of the Earth
I had my son this weekend, but with money troubles and cruddy weather rampant -- it turned into sort of a videogame/movie marathon, capped Sunday night with a pre-bedtime screening of the recent remake of the Jules Verne novel starring Brendan Fraser. The film was originally released in 3-D, but the DVD we rented didn't have that option, which kind of sucked -- because it was one of those movies that has a lot of scenes where the actors would like purposely stick things right into the camera, which you just knew would have looked cooler with the glasses on. Still, not bad for a family film. My son was definitely more interested in the "Center of the Earth" part than he was in any of the "Journey to" sections, but once he took the bait he was all the way into the story, which was really fun to watch. The coolest part for me though was checking out the special features -- which offered a short documentary about the history of Hollow Earth theories, which many believe started with Edmund Halley (the comet guy), and even spurred the formation of a religious cult (here in Florida, no less) that spent a number of years developing tools and technology to help prove their theory that not only was the Earth hollow, but that civilization was actually living inside of it already.
 
ValkyrieSo let me see if I've got this straight: On December 25th, Christmas Day -- a new movie will open where Nazis are the heroes!? Nevermind the fact that Tom Cruise (of all people) is playing the lead, did anyone give any thought to the timing of this at all? What, was Rosh Hashanah all booked up?
 
Rock of
Love Bus
So let me see if I've got this straight: For the 3rd season of Rock of Love -- the admittedly addicting train-wreck of a reality show where 20 rock skanks compete against each other for the right to be dumped by a washed-up rock star two weeks after he declares his "love" for her -- they're gonna take the whole thing out of the house and put it on a tour bus that drives around the country. Is this an improvement, or a budget cut?
 
Scream Queens                 Speaking of reality shows, my current fave is called Scream Queens, where 20 would-be starlets compete for the chance to play a bit part in the upcoming sixth installment in the Saw movie franchise. I admit that on the surface, the thing looks kind of stupid -- but there's something about it that's actually pretty cool. I think VH1 would rather the show follow their normal formula of catfights and skank-drama, but the whole thing has sort of turned into an actual competition. There's no fake love interest, no unbelievable life-changing opportunity at the end of the tunnel. For once it's a reality show that's exactly what it advertises itself as -- an extended audition for an under-five in a studio picture. As such, the focus is on the acting talent (or lack thereof) of the contestants, all of whom are hot enough to be in a movie (especially a cheesy horror click), but aren't actually talented enough to get into one without help. As a result -- a big part of each episode is dedicated to acting classes and scene work, turning the whole thing into a theater workshop -- which as a former theater major and drama coach brings back all sorts of memories and provides tons of opportunities to armchair quarterback. All that being said, despite my legitimate reasons for liking the show, there's no real way to deny the camp/T&A appeal of the whole thing -- especially when they pull crap like this:

[Listening to:  Sevendust - "Crumbled" ]

Comments

whatigotsofar said…
Are you telling me that on the one day of the year where Jews are the only ones at a movie theatre, a movie will be opening in which Nazis are the good guys?
JerseySjov said…
those vh1 dating shows are out of hand. there's a new one now that stars a contestant of a previous show about a contestant of an even earlier show about finding 'real love'

i can't believe the contestants actually want to be with those people for a second. i mean, seriously, if i tried out for a dating show that promised a 'big hip hop star' and flav walked in i'd be out of there faster than you can say 'clock necklace'
thank the lord they don't have too many reality tv shows here. then i'd really have to try to exercise some restraint - i love those damn shows!

people are nutters, and it's completely fascinating to see what someone with no shame whatsoever will let themselves do!
LadyShay said…
Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday, but this year it was a bit blah. I have a feeling Christmas will be the same.

How about Double Shot of Love with the Skanky Twins. THAT'S gonna be good [barf].