Wednesday, May 14

What I've Missed

It's been a weird couple of weeks, and while a lot of blogworthy stuff has happened -- sometimes there's just too much going on to slow down enough to write it down. And then sometimes the motivation simply doesn't match the desire.
Whether my recent absence has been a result of one or the other is hard to really say.
I've had days where I've wanted to write but just didn't have the time, followed by days when I had nothing but time but couldn't find the way to turn on the faucet.
It's frustrating, because I'm supposed to be good at this, you know?
Anyways, while I'm finding my way back into the fold, I thought I'd take a moment here to list some of the things you would have surely loved reading about had actually I found a way to get off my lazy ass and write them on this site.
  • You might be at a redneck party if...
  • Iron Man was cool, but did anyone else scratch their head at the idea of Tom Morello.. the terrorist?
  • Now that I've had the opportunity to talk to a bunch of lawyers on a regular basis (which is something I don't normally do), I can honestly say that I really don't like talking to lawyers that much at all.
  • Congratulations! You have a permanent position with this company. Wait, no you don't. Now you do. Well, not yet. Possibly soon. Check with me later. You know what.. just go back to work and we'll let you know.
  • Alien vs. Predator Requiem is the absolute worst movie I've ever seen in my entire life.
  • The Birthday Massacre are still disappointing as a live act -- but as long as Chibi is their singer, I'll be there.
  • Why you gotta be like that, IRS?
  • If I ever meet the guy who invented Hexic, I'm going to pause the game and kick him in the nuts.
  • Given a choice between John Rys-Davies, Short Round, Sean Connery in a funny hat, or Shia LaBeouf -- I'd still pick Chewbacca.
  • I got into a math fight with the lottery, and lost.
  • The only thing that annoys me more than Denzel Washington's constant mugging is Dakota Fanning, which is probably why it's taken me so many years to figure out that Man on Fire is a bucketful of awesome.
  • I don't think I've ever hated the Detroit Red Wings any more than I do right now.
Looking back at this list, maybe it's a good thing that I couldn't find a way to get them onto the page the way I wanted to. I mean who knows, maybe some of those things could have ended up being entertaining or funny -- but every now and then you start to wonder where all of this chronicling of your own life really gets you anyways.
I don't really mean that of course, but sometimes it sorta feels that way.
There is one idea I'm hoping to hold onto and finish later though -- which is a article I was hoping to write about how Courage the Cowardly Dog, despite the fact that it receives hardly any advertising or marketing help at all and (IMHO) is not really all that entertaining a cartoon in the first place -- has become the longest-running original series Cartoon Network has ever run. A fact that is probably entirely due to the fact that it's creator is John R. Dilworth -- who is not only the most famous animator you've never heard of, but is also the creator of this little film, which most people think is an award-winning comedy short -- but is actually a true-life documentary about the way I approach women in bars.
Anyways, thanks to everyone who keeps coming by to check the page even when I don't post for days at a time. It means more to me than you'll ever know.
Be back soon, promise.
[Listening to:  Celldweller"Switchback" ]


Friday, May 2

Memo to Coworker

Even if you are the CEO vice president of whatever, I gotta tell you that wearing a Hawaiian
shirt to work doesn't really make me think Casual Friday as much as it screams "Waiter."

[Listening to:  Erase the Grey"Rain" ]


Thursday, May 1

Un-Wedding Crasher

So the other day I'm downtown at the courthouse trying to file some of the final papers that will close out my friggin' divorce, and I'm standing in line there waiting my turn -- when out of nowhere right behind me walks up this absolutely smokin' hot babe. She's buried in the stack of papers she's carrying and doesn't acknowledge me, but seriously -- thank you, god.

But really, when you're in a place like this, in that particular line -- it's not like saying "Hey, come here often?" is really your best play.

So I'm standing there, stealing glances -- racking my brain for something clever to say, but coming up with nothing because clearly karma was all up against me on this one.
I mean honestly, what was I gonna break out with?
"Do you need some assistance, because I'm in here all the time"
"Did you at least get to touch his backstage pass before your tour ended?"
"Hey, you wanna know what would really piss him off?"
"This is the line for zillionaire astronauts to pick up their Congressional Medals of Awesomeness, right?"
"Sandworms, mmh? I hate 'em myself."
In the end there was really nothing to say, which was probably a good thing because she was making it pretty clear that she wasn't really in the mood for any sort of conversation, especially with some leering dude who surely couldn't escape the implications of why he also happened to be in that exact same place at that same time.

Don't get me wrong, I'm sure stranger things have happened -- but hot as she was, I'm not that guy.
..But damn if I didn't want to be for a hot minute there.
[Listening to:  Pressure 4-5"New Wave" ]


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