The Friday Hot Sheet

Live from New York – it’s Friday Night!

Not much time to toss this one together – but I thought I’d try to get this in before my boy Satorical and I head out into the NYC night and see how much trouble we can find. Not that there’s probably interesting going on in a city this lame on a Friday night anyways, right?

Every Friday during the recent dry spell for this blog that passed by when I wasn't able to do one of these updates, I ended up getting sorta down on myself. Between the Rhiannas, Octomoms, and John Stewart/Jim Cramer bitchfights going on, I'm sure there were tons of commentaries and observations to be made -- but as we all well know, sometimes life gets in the way.

Either that, or I've just become so enamored with the immediacy of twitter that doing more long form updates started to seem oddly passe.

Whatever the case, as this blog races towards its 1000th post, it seems fitting that this update comes from the road, scrolled down on the run Dean Moriarity/Cody Pomeray-style, rattled off the top of my mind as I race from one adventure to the next, chasing personal dragons on the back of some stream of consciousness locomotive across the heartland while Dexter Gordon rattled off arpeggios at the speed of tears in the background.

However, being that I'm in a hurry -- I'll just try to make do with a stolen wi-fi connection while DVD footage of a Neil Peart drum solo thunders along in the background.

So before the trees are all kept equal with hatchet, axe, and saw -- here are this weeks risers and fallers, and the buzz as it looks from here.
Maybe it's because I'm just a hick from north Florida -- but I love this place. I've been here a handful of times in my years, and there's an energy to this town that's hard to resist. Of course that's easy to say when you don't have to find work or pay rent here -- but every time I'm here I question my decisions to stay in the places I've been. Part of me sometimes wonders about the reasons I've always ended us so close to home despite years and years of wanting to get away -- but in the end it's not about where you are, but instead what you do with the time. Which is why I intend to make this weekend in the big apple worthy of a song that will be sung for generations to come.

Willie DynamiteWhen the very first thing you realize about the 70's Blacksploitation film you're watching is that the titular pimp character is being played by the same actor who played Gordon on Sesame Street, things can only get better from there. Loaded with the kinds of stereotypical ideas that have become the comedy tropes of the modern day, Willie Dynamite is a million times funnier than a morality tale set against the backdrop of New York's seedy underbelly circa 1968 should ever be -- and yet in this day of Tyler Perry's alter-ego Madea ruling the box offices with it's own ideas of how to mix laughs and lessons -- perhaps there's no better time to look back at how a real story of sin and salvation should be told. I stayed up stupid late watching this mess, but the laughs along the way were totally worth it.

Jay CutlerFormer Atlanta Falcons coach Jerry Glanville used to have a saying -- "This is the NFL, which stands for Not For Long when you screw up royal." Sure you had a pro-bowl season and helped spark the Broncos to one of their best seasons in recent memory. But when the coaching staff changes, you have to expect that the mindset of the team will follow. So yeah, the new coach convincing the front office to make a play for hot free agent Matt Cassell essentially behind your back after all you'd done for them in the past year was kind of a bitch move, but that's what happens to quarterbacks who are picked in the first round who don't make the playoffs after two seasons. Stop whining in the press, and prove it on the field.

CauliflowerSo I'm eating healthier lately, trying to get back in shape and shave off a few pounds. And while people who've known me for a long time might not believe it, a big part of this push has been the addition of salads into my daily meal schedule. As a sworn vegetable hater for many years, this transition has not been easy in any way -- but somehow it's started to happen, and results are starting to show. But despite all this success and paradigm shifts in my appetites, I can say with total conviction and confidence that Cauliflower tastes like ass, and if it was scientifically proven to help you win the lottery and make your penis longer I still wouldn't want to eat it. It's like god decided to grow vomit in plant form.

Getting ripped in a New York Minute Is what I'm gonna go do now -- see you next week.

[Listening to: Rush - "Between the Wheels" ]


JerseySjov said…
my mom sometimes makes pureed cauliflower and i always mistake it for mashed potatoes until its too late.
Werdna said…
1- Fear is awesome!

2- cauliflower is like the anti-Fear. It is the opposite of awesome.

3- Between the wheels rules.

Wish I'd been there...
Hex said…
Jersey -- Half the reason I don't like vegetables I think is my mom pulling bait and switch moves like that when I was a kid.

Werdna -- Next time, bro. No excuses.