The Friday Hot Sheet

It's been a wild week. Lots of things happening, lots of stuff to try to get in order. Curren's little league team plays their championship game tonight, and not to get all boastful or anything -- but there's a good chance they could win it. Of course win or lose all of that pales in comparison to the excitement he's got going on regarding his 10th birthday party, which will be happening Saturday.

That's right friends -- party hats, wrapping paper everywhere, off-key singing, presents galore, and the unbridled joy that comes from trying to wrangle a bunch of sugared up kids around a waterpark for a couple hours. He's been jonesing for this for a while now, but as many of you well know, pulling off a successful kids party is one of those "phantom stressful" things you get to do as a parent.

What I mean by that is that when you really get down to it -- as long as there are kids, cake, and presents all in one place your child's birthday party is officially a success. But somehow in making all that happen your adult instincts kick in and you get all freaked out about gift bags and matching napkins and who's in charge of the cake and all of this extra crap that the little kid you're doing all this work for isn't really going to notice in the first place.
And yet, you want it to be a big deal. You want it to be important.
Almost as if assigning importance to minor details is the curse of maturity. Kids are much better at remembering that the show's the thing, so if you get them all in the right place at the same time good times are sure to happen -- but for some reason even the most laid back of parents find ways to turn things like this into a huge production.

Not that I'm advocating half-assing your kids birthday parties, but as long as you don't end up hiring the wrong clown -- you eventually realize that freaking out is not a necessary parenting skill as much as it is a side effect of being in charge of someone elses memories.
Children remember smiles and the laughter. Being with friends and feeling loved.
The napkins ..not so much.
And yet, this day will not be complete until I find those Iron Man paper plates.
So as I ponder being a grown man who still has to purchase streamers -- here are this weeks risers and fallers, and the buzz as it looks from here..
The Oil
Spill
Fiasco
 
Have you ever been in the situation where you're standing up in front of the toilet, hands still on the flushing handle, perhaps still in some state of undress from the night before -- and as you watch the water swirling around in a circle it suddenly becomes horribly clear that it's not going down -- but filling up? Think for a moment about that instant where you realize you have literally seconds to respond? What do you do -- flush harder, run screaming, start going for towels to catch the spill?
Or are you like the rest of us and you just sort of stare at the rising water in the bowl and yell at it, as if the force of your will is somehow stronger than the laws of physics.
To me, this is sort of what this whole spill cleanup news disaster is turning into.

Clearly BP wanted the oil and knew ways to go get it, but astoundingly apparently had no idea how to approach solving any possible ruptures, leaks, or whatever. I work with Engineers -- these people have contingency plans for when their parking places are taken. How did you schmucks not think of this part?
 
The Montreal Canadiens   First they embarrass Alexander Ovechkin and the Washington Capitals with a first round ass-whooping, then they turn around and send the Pittsburgh Penguins and hockey's wonder boy Sidney Crosby packing. This is a team that barely made the playoffs. What in the Wide Wide World of Sports is a-going on here? Sure it's exciting to watch a Cinderella team emerge in a post-season tournament, but what casual fans might not understand is that the Habs are one of the most storied franchises in the NHL, if not all of sports. This is the team that in it's history has won more championships than any other team in every other sport combined. It's essentially the equivalent of the Yankees or the Dallas Cowboys being thought of as an underdog. And much like those teams their fans are unlivable gloaters, especially when they're winning. Hell, a bunch of them rioted after winning the last game against Pittsburgh. And it's only gonna get worse if they keep winning. I can't believe I'm saying this -- but I'm actually rooting for Philadelphia to win something. Nothing, and I mean nothing could be worse than a matchup between French Canadians and a bunch of Massholes from Boston.
 
 
LeBron James   Speaking of massive choke-jobs, hows everybody feeling about the prospect of a new series of Nike puppet commercials featuring the Kobe Puppet talking to Dwight Howard? Sure Rajon Rondo went off and the Celtics played better defense than people were expecting them to, but there's no way around the fact that LeBron went in the tank for no apparent reason and starting tossing up bricks all over the yard. This of course will do nothing to quiet the rumors that he's planning on going to another team, and has never really wanted to be with the Cavalier's in the first place. And while I'm sure it's tough to carry all that pressure on your shoulders, the way he's been going about things lately makes you wonder if he even really wants that spotlight at all.
 
New Amerykah
Part Two:
Return Of
The Ankh
I've talked many times before on this blog about my love for Erykah Badu and her music, but her new album is all kinds of awesome. Like everyone else, my attention was sparked (in more ways than one) by her controversial video for the single Window Seat, but that song (which rocks) is only the first course in what is once again a feast of flavors from Erykah and her band. Few artists do a better job of capturing the fun that comes from making music with people you like as well as Erykah Badu does. I've had this album for a few weeks now, and I'm still discovering new things to like about it. In fact, just about the only thing that could possibly distract my attention from a neo-soul disc this addictive would be something like..
 
New
Deftones
The new Deftones album, Diamond Eyes is the first in years from the group -- and comes with it's own interesting backstory. As some of you might know, during the recording of an album called Eros -- the groups bass player got into a serious car accident and slipped into a coma. After a period of soul-searching, the band put the release of that album on hold, and then went back into the studio with another bassist they were close to (Sergio Vega, formerly of Quicksand) and recorded an entirely new album that was more in the spirit of the place their musical tastes and personal inspirations were at that moment in time.

I'm a huge Deftones fan, but any band tends to lose momentum after a number of years -- and although filled with bright spots the last few albums had been less than what I'd come to expect from them. But this disc is something else entirely. Not only is it filled with all sorts of different moods and textures, but it's got an enormous sound to it that I just love to blast on headphones and in the car. Gristina will probably be the only one who gets this reference, but essentially it sounds like the Deftones recorded all of Diamond Eyes with the Boom Button turned on. Much like the new Erykah Badu album, the songs flow into one another in a way that makes the whole thing easy to listen to cover to cover, which is far more rare of a thing than it should be these days. As a result, I've been utterly overdosing on this lately, only pausing a bit to go back to the new Badu. Seriously, is there anything better when you've got lots of new good music to choose from?
 
Aisha
Tyler
My longtime crush and admiration for actress/comedienne Aisha Tyler reached an unbelievable high point last Thursday night as I was able to share a laugh and a hug with her after her set at the Comedy Zone. Although I've been a fan for a while (and not only because I think she's incredibly sexy) I'd not had the chance to see her perform live until last night. Sooo worth it. Her act was raw, silly, nerdy, and brimming over with good energy.

She won over an early night (and quieter than I was expecting) crowd largely by just being herself. I think that's the way I prefer my stand-up. I like conceptual stuff and big sight gags from time to time, but I always take away a lot more from stand-ups who are willing to let the audience in a little. Which is not to say that I forgot to fall in lust with her all over again. So very cool in person, and well worth the time if she comes to a comedy club in your town.
 
Betty
White
Mania
Understand something here -- I love me some Betty White. She's like a national treasure, especially in her latest renaissance as the sweet old lady who cusses a lot and says vulgar things about sex. Honestly, we haven't had a dirty old woman like that around since Dom DeLuise died. But now we have Betty, who's been a beloved fixture in movies, television, and game shows for as long as I can remember -- and she's hotter than ever. So much so that a highly publicized campaign on Facebook took off to get her to host Saturday Night Live (which, unbelievably she'd never done before).

The results were hilarious (having Jay-Z along certainly didn't hurt), and provided a huge ratings night for a show that -- while not always funny, is regaining the ability to have fun just putting on a show again. So kudos Internet for making that happen. But like all Internet trends, there's no such word as stop -- and now Facebook has lit up with new groups pushing to get Betty to host the Academy Awards, as well as several new groups pushing for other famous women to host SNL -- including Carol Burnett (which might be cool), Liza Minelli, and Carol Channing(!?) What, were Waylon Flowers and Madam not available? Look people -- there's doing something cool, and then there's crapping all over it by trying to do it again and again and again just to prove that you can. Betty is handling her own fame just fine and has been doing so for decades. The last thing she needs after all that hard work is the inevitable backlash, ok?
 
Japan's Continued AwesomenessJohn Wayne once famously said that the best thing an actor can do if he wants to be star is to extend their death scenes out as long as possible, because they can't take the camera off of you until you're done. This Koi Fish demon/ogre/ ..thing gets it, as he's being killed to death by boob lasers. BOOB LASERS, PEOPLE. This moment (and many like it) happened on Japanese TV in primetime. Tell you what, lets do the Old Spice commercial play on this one -- Look at we get during those hours. Now look look back the boob lasers. Now look back at Dancing with the Stars. Now look back at me. I'm on a horse.
           
                                 See you next week!


[Listening to:  Mystikal - "Tarantula" ]

Comments

The Kaiser said…
ALL GLORY TO THE HYBNOBOOBS!

That said, I have to say the after-school special quality acting and editing makes me not so sad about the production values of American prime time scripted shows.
JerseySjov said…
michael madsen said that he tried to drag out mr blond's death scene for a long time, but in the end it was cut down to just his little slump on the trash cans
whatigotsofar said…
That's the best fucking episode of Power Rangers I ever saw!
whatigotsofar said…
You think I can get a set of high beams like on my Toyota?
Bef said…
I saw your tweet where Curren's team won! Awesome!

so don't you want to write me a review of the Deftones for OHN? my review team is falling apart...just a brief review you know how we do on new music tuesday....

please

*bats eyelashes*
Werdna said…
BOOOM!


Where do these bands get the sound like something is exploding?

The guitars are just exploding or sometimes it is when all the instruments come in at the same time.


Or maybe recording engineers just have a button that makes the sound.

Who knows? Off to go listen to the deftones new one. Right after I tune ump my booom button detector.