The Friday Hot Sheet

Damn, it’s hot out. Winter cold isn’t much fun to start with, but if I had to trade one climactic condition away, it would be these endless waves of thick, sticky hot that just won’t go away during the late summer months. For the record, I like sunshine. I love warmth. But this is something else entirely.
This heat just sorta sits on you – embalming you in its dryness without relief.
Living in Florida certainly doesn’t help -- but at least there’s a beach and plenty of pools nearby.

One of the reasons I like apartment living is the amenities -- but there’s something about my current complex that’s a little weird when it comes to chlorinated swimming, or to be more precise -- the company you'll find yourself in once you decide to hit the pool.

I mean yeah, any time there’s a pool that’s generally accessible – you’re gonna have to deal with screaming kids, overbearing parents, and the nagging worry that you're swimming at least partially in someone else's pee. That’s just part of the deal.

But what I’m finding more and more bothersome when I go for swims or take my kid to go play in the water are the supposedly upwardly mobile types.

There’s this one couple in particular who show up to the pool on a semi-regular basis who bring a permanent stinkface with them. Neither of them say much, but their condescending looks and the continual fuss they make over this sorta iPod dock/radio thing they always bring with him to blast Norah Jones (btw, who asked you to supply music in the first place?) just makes me want to pay every kid I can find to do 1000 cannonballs just so we can short the thing out.
Last time I checked we all pay the same landlord rent, so don't
act all huffy that someone else is soaking up your sunshine, k?
It’s one thing for Jethro and Bertha to buy thong bathing suits for each and every one of their fat little children before they come to the pool. But it’s quite another to come to an apartment pool with a look that clearly betrays the fact that you believe it should be your own private playground.
So before I "accidentally" let the dog pee all over their towels -- here are this week’s risers and fallers, and the buzz as it looks from here:
The San Diego Comic Con  Sometimes the Internet offers people a chance to connect to events and other people thousands of miles away, whether it's through social networking sites or mutual interest in a viral video or whatever. But sometimes the web focuses on things you're not at. Things you can't share.

Every year in San Diego there's a comic book convention. Its more than just comics of course, but once upon a time it was sort of a closely guarded secret spot for nerds, anime fans, and movie geeks. Then it sort of became a cool thing for celebs to crash, and now it's just become a self-congratulatory Hollywood wank fest. But more than that -- it's a magnet for bloggers of almost all varieties to go and either celebrate their fandom or make fun of the people there.
And boy do they rub it in.
People I know who've gone before rave about it, but they also do that "it used to be cool, but then it sold out. I shan't be returning." And while I'm sure they're right (these are trusted friends, after all) it doesn't diminish the fact that I really wanted to go. I thought about it for many years (Gristina lives there and used to go annually) but I simply couldn't afford the trip. I'd still like to go to it at some point -- not because it seems like everyone else is there and I'm worried I'm missing out on something, but because it looks like a really great time for an anime/comic book/film geek like me.

It's just sort of weird the way almost all the blogs and news sites I frequent are reporting from the con this week. So literally all my regular news and stuff is being filtered through updates about girls in Slave Leia costumes and news about Joss Whedon directing the new Avengers movie. "Nyah, Nyah -- I stood in line for two hours to see a table filled with people who worked on Lost, what did you do today?"
I read about you doing it, thanks.

Inception I know I've already gushed about this on Twitter and to anyone willing (or unwilling) to listen to me rave on about it for the last week or so -- but it really is an entertaining movie. Not only for the interesting storyline and all the special effects, but for the thoughts it provokes and the conversations it leads to after you see it. Sometimes the best part of watching a movie (or enjoying any form of art, for that matter) is letting it sink in and considering it afterward.

As such, I've been really happy about the way Inception has sat in my mind this past week, letting me consider ideas and sort of work through some of the things the film leaves open to interpretation. It's sorta like a Rubik's cube that you can pick up and play with now and again.

But let me ask this of the people who have already seen it. How are you sleeping? I'm finding that although I haven't had any really wacky dreams (that I can recall) since watching the movie, I'm sorta hyper-aware of waking up lately. Like I'll open my eyes and sit up, but then I'm taking more stock of my surroundings than I usually do. Kinda like the way I didn't like showers after seeing Psycho or hated answering the phone after The Ring. I haven't invested in a totem just yet, but it's sorta weird that I keep waking up wondering which level I'm on.

Sleepovers  This weekend (tonight, in fact) my son will be hosting his first sleepover with one of his friends from daycare -- which really means that I will be hosting my first kid that's not mine sleeping in my apartment tonight. Curren's super jacked up about it, and it should be a good time, but if this kid is anything like my son is -- I've got some serious house cleaning to do. A few months ago he stayed over at another kids house, and the next day my son basically ratted out every detail of their place to me.

10 year-olds don't really get the concept of discretion, so it's not like it's mean-spirited -- but I distinctly remember listening to him telling me how messy their bathroom was and instantly realizing that if we ever had this kid over to my place the same thing was going to happen to me.

I'm a single guy living alone with a fast Internet connection. There's a high amount of porn stuff in this place that I'm pretty sure this kid's parent's don't want to know about. I can just see Curren coming back from daycare next week telling me that he can't play with his friend anymore. Talk about embarrassing.

SaltI know Angelina Jolie's a mega-star and all and her name is usually enough of a draw to get people in the door, but does anyone else find it weird how sort of quietly this movies marketing has been? I mean, I've seen trailers and I've heard about it -- but unlike a lot of other films this summer, I don't feel particularly bashed over the head with hype about Salt, and it makes me wonder why?

Apparently the movie was originally a vehicle for Tom Cruise -- who's movie choices lately make Mel Gibson seem rational (did you hear they're building an entire movie around the agent character he played in Tropic Thunder, the same guy he trotted out at the MTV movie awards? Hey Tom, it was a funny character -- but maybe ask Paul Reubens how much fun it is to be stuck in a franchise that's been built around one joke, eh?). I don't really know why Cruise backed out of it, but for them to re-write the thing around Jolie seems pretty intriguing. She's good at stunt driven movies, she's actually a half-decent actress, and still even after all the hype and press one of the hottest women in Hollywood -- so I'm interested in seeing it, even if I have my doubts about the story.

I mean lets face it, the only good part of Wanted was Morgan Freeman saying "Shoot this motherfucker." The rest of that movie stank out loud. This one at least looks like it's got potential, so maybe she can get back in the swing of making films people actually want to watch, instead of movies that are only good for screencaps.

The Social Network  On the other hand, the movie who's advertising I can't seem to get away from is David Fincher's latest -- which tells the story of the beginning days and struggles of the guys who created Facebook. And wow does it look super fucking boring. Sure you've got some kids choir singing Radiohead and Justin Timberlake doing his slimy shark-suit best as the apparent villain, but let me see if I've got this straight for a second -- this is like a two-hour movie where one rich white kid takes another rich white kid to court to see who gets to keep ownership of Facebook and therefore become even richer?
Well hell, where do I sign up for that all night party of fun?
I understand it's probably a compelling story and of course relevant to the Internet generation, but movies about corporate lawsuits regardless of who is directing them are perpetually dour, which makes me wonder why it's getting such a marketing push. Is there like some zombie/sparkly vampire subplot in the middle that I'm somehow unaware of? Does Justin Timberlake transform into a car somewhere in the story and try to kill Megan Fox? Because otherwise, Radiohead or no -- I'll pass.

The Dildo KnightUnlike Andrew Breitbart, FOX News, and apparently the American Government -- I do my best to fact-check stuff before posting it on this site. I may not always have the best grasp of the possessive case or the correct use of semicolons -- but I've at least heard of Wikipedia and know how to access it.

Unfortunately, as much as I tried to find out what the heck was going on in this video clip -- there's surprisingly little information available out there about the reasoning behind this mano e' mano throwdown between this guy in the tinfoil suit of armor swinging around a whip and his opponent, who appears to be armed with nothing more than an oversized sex toy -- which is really sort of odd, since that's the sort of thing the internet was kinda built around.

Whatever the case, this exists -- and some guy who wasn't busy filming courtroom scenes for the Facebook movie caught it all on tape. Whip dude versus Dildo guy (which sounds like it ought to be a whole lot sexier) going all Thunderdome for your entertainment.
Take it away, gentlemen!

[Listening to:  MC Chris - "Nrrrd Grrrl" ]


Anonymous said…
The phallic is strong in this one.
Bef said…
eh that's no sleepover with just 1 kid...when you have a house full of boys then you have a sleepover!

once this one is over be prepared to be asked can so and so spend the night all the time

matter of fact I was just asked this the other day and my son 17 fucking years was his cousin but still it was a child that was not mine wanting to sleep in my damn house sucking up all the A/C...did.not.happen!
JerseySjov said…
i miss sleepovers! i had a roommate for almost all four years of college, which was like a perpetual sleepover. now that i'm a grown up [ha!] with my own bedroom i miss having someone to share secrets, tell jokes, and giggle about boys with after lights out every night.
though in a way, we never stop having sleepovers. we just stop having to ask mom for permission and start calling it "thanks for letting me crash on your couch, man"
Zuly said…
Inception has definitely stayed in my mind since I saw it on Friday. I have been having some CRAZY dreams, but that's nothing knew. I've always been an extremely vivid dreamer. (Did you know that writers are more likely to have dreams with full storylines? Someone told me that after I related a particularly epic dream one day.)

By the way, you can't purchase a totem, you'd have to make it. If you purchase it that means someone else will have touched it at some point in time, which, like Leo said, defeats the purpose.
Perhaps someday you, me and Darth Slaus can all go to Comic Con together.

Not sure why everybody hated WANTED so much. I actually thought the movie had some strong messages about taking control of your own life, about how you can never really figure out who you are or who you are meant to be if you don't know who you are, and that there are no obstacles you can't truly overcome if you keep your eyes on the goal (bending bullets?) ... all wrapped up nicely in the guise of a mindless action flick.

Eh, but maybe it was just me.

I haven't seen Inception yet so no spoilers, please!
Hex said…
WIGSF -- I just about spit out my drink. Well played, sir.

Bef -- Lol, facts and examples! Two of them were plenty for my apartment. Damn kid broke my phone!!

I was actually that guy growing up that you're talking about. I spent so much time at Gristina and MacEwan's house growing up that they just considered me family, lol.

Jersey -- Seems like a trend that we need to bring back. Except that when you trash someone's house and eat up their food as an adult, you're looked at a little differently, lol.

Zuly -- I had a weird version of a recurring dream the other night where I was sort of dream within a dreaming, which I tend to remember more vividly than when I'm just free-forming. I like how the movie prompted me to consider things, but didn't preach to me how I should think of them.

Kinda want to see it again, you know?

Tatiana -- Hahahah, the three of us at a comic con? I doubt they could handle the destruction we'd bring with you.

At the same time, once that novel of yours hits -- you'd better be prepared to go to a few of those and have lines of people dressed up as your characters going all "Misery" on you and demanding that you write stories just for them.

That storyline in "Wanted" -- the one about realizing your potential -- is the part I wanted more of. But the part they chose to focus on instead, the loom and the destiny and the bending bullet bullshit just robbed it of energy.

That shootout in the warehouse where he's just running through there taking people out should have been the most awesome thing ever -- but at least for me at that point I wasn't really invested in the character enough to care. I wanted to like the stylized action, but I need to be invested in the characters first -- and for me that never really happened along the way, you know?