You Probably Think This Song is About You

I don't want to get into this too deep, because there's too many calories burned on her already and we've heard it all before (no talent, fame whore, blah blah blah..) -- but I came across this picture on tumblr earlier this evening (hence the double post), and couldn't get over just how even though the basic idea of this woman is bothersome to me, just how stunning this image is in a Page 6/Maxim magazine sort of way.
So here's my question:  
Seriously, look at this picture. 
Think of some of Kim Kardashian's other posed and planned photographs. Not papparazi pics of her walking around LA or publicity shoots -- I'm talking about the ones where she knows there's a camera on her. Say whatever else you want about her, how in the hell did she not just end up as a model?
Think about this for a second, how is it that we don't already organically know Kim Kardashian as one of those girls doing that Victoria's Secret TV gig, or hawking light beer and showing up in Adam Sandler movies like other models do?
And the only answer I can come up with is that girl must be insanely lazy. Smarts help as a model, but you don't need them. There are plenty of dumbasses walking runway. But if you're gonna make real money in that life, you've gotta put in the work (my ex-wife was in the industry, not even seriously big time -- and there was a period where we drove all over for shoots).

Kim Kardashian never had to become a blight on our pop culture radar. She could have done this all day, hung out all day with Adriana Lima and Brooklyn Decker and hawked for Loreal and showed up in Sports Illustrated once a year in a swimsuit, and she could have still been rich, still been famous, still bang athletes, and never had to deal with whatever else she (sarcastic voice on 10) "has to deal with."
I don't watch the show, so I don't know any deeper context, and frankly I don't care -- but goddamn, look at this picture. 15 years ago this is a poster in my college apartment and I don't effing care what basketball player she's dating.
Girl is lazy. 
(article reposted @O Hell Nawl 1/6/2012)

[Now Playing:  Company of Thieves - "Death of Communication" ]

Comments

Heff said…
For the record, that photo has been "touched" - her waist isn't anywhere NEAR that thin.

Incredibly LAZY, yes, but even MORE INCREDIBLY STUPID. She's a fucking IDIOT.

Unfortunately, Donna forces Heff at nipple-point to watch that ridiculous show, and in most of the camera scenes, they actually pan away from, or have her ass covered with loosely tied clothing, etc., because in reality (and I use that term LOOSELY regarding this shit-fest of a show), her ass is so big, it's actually somewhat DISGUSTING.

Yeah, Heff's a breast-man, and she certainly meets requirements THERE, but I've never turned away a great posterior either, and sometimes depending on her current diet & activity levels, her turd-cutter is DEBATABLE at best.

HEFF HAS SPOKEN !
Hex said…
Point taken Heff, but does that still mean she couldn't cut it as a model? Look at whatever that photo layout of Lohan in Playboy was supposed to be -- and not for nothing, but the Photoshop jockey who worked on that thing deserves a medal of honor -- but there's a market for pinup, and those of us who like to gawk and gander have long forgiven and forgotten how retouched photos are in that world.

I guess my point is that she's widely thought of as a social pariah even for those who aren't forced by nipples to watch her show -- and I don't really think she had to be.

Seriously, it's utterly possible that Adriana Lima and Esther Baxter are horrible, horrible people in their real lives -- but do you see me caring at all?
Beth said…
you'd have to define model...and I'm about to get real racist here...

the only modeling Kim could do with her body is video hoe and black tail type mags...Kim is too "black" built for the mainstream modeling world...

She has the boobs for Vicki Secrets but the rest of her does not fit what they want...

and as Heff says that pic has been "improved" a great deal...

to most black men and some white men her natural thickness is A-OK...but to mainstream she's almost fat...and not PHAT

*shrugs*

as for the pic! I'm not a woman that looks at other women but that is a stunning picture and I happen to think Kim K is not that pretty...her sister Cortney is gorgeous though...but anyway
Hex said…
Bef -- I do see what you're saying, and you're right, she's probably not walking any runways ever, but if you slap the name of a vodka brand the top of this picture and a surgeon general's warning at the bottom -- that's a career too, and I don't really see why that never happened.

Instead she's everywhere, and probably financially more successful than a pin-up or swimsuit model (photoshopped or not) might be, but at what seems to be the expense of her own character and respect, which to me is made worse by the fact that she CHOSE to make her character her selling point.

We need to get Slaus over here to see what he says, or at least to gawk at the photo..
Beth said…
you could post it on OHN...I don't have a flexy friday post maybe with a slight rework it could be a sub for flexy friday...

I don't know like Men look at this!

Women and then put this post in there for the ladies...

it might spark some good convo on a friday afternoon...

thoughts?
Heff said…
I'd give her "Liquor & Beer Model" if they'd just shut down that damn reality show in exchange....and YES - I realize I just left a "Liquor joke" laying on the table.....
Hex said…
Bef -- I could do that (why not, I've already posted it here and on tumblr). I also have something else planned for later today too.
Beth said…
look at you getting your writing on!

awesome!

I think we have 1 other post scheduled for today but you can check if you decide to post it on OHN.