Thursday, January 30

Counting Backwards

    1 Morning Meeting
    1 Written Warning
    2 Chicken Burritos
    7 Websites Built
    3 Pints of Guinness
    2 Shots of Jager
    10 Phone calls
    4 Answers
    10 Gallons of Unleaded
    5 Dollar Cover Charge
    2 Dollar Bottle of Water
    2 Interesting Offers
    2 Pleasant Refusals
    4 Hours of Sleep
    3 Cups of Coffee
    5 Websites Built So Far Today

    3 Hours to go...

Monday, January 27

Talking of Michelangelo

    A memory
    brought me back
    to the Dardanelle's
    epitaph (epigraph?)
    this morning.

    we go there sometimes

    she never actually

Wednesday, January 22

Infinite Repeat

Songs don't help. Anger doesn't help. Silence doesn't help. Running doesn't help. Staying doesn't help. These shoes don't help. This job doesn't help. Knowing doesn't help. Wondering doesn't help. Time doesn't help. I can't help. You can't help. Help hasn't helped.

    ...This didn't help.

Tuesday, January 21

Actually Spoken During the Course of My Day

    "John Saxon playing a kung fu master is still the best special effect Hollywood ever came up with."

Wednesday, January 15


Between the pages of a novel, I take a break to make a quick lunch in the kitchen. Bare feet on tile floors and the sound of water filling into a pan. I hadn't expected to be home today. Neither had I expected once I found myself here that I'd be simply watching Springer re-runs and racing towards Franzen's 600th page. But then again, what you expect isn't always what happens, is it?

As the burner shifts towards red and the water reacts, there's a sound like wind running through high tree branches. It's the sort of thing you notice when you're outside trying to think - only the thoughts won't come.

Absently waiting for the water to boiI, I open the package. Inside the plastic, hugging the noodles like remora, are not one - but two silvery packets.

In all the years I've eaten this, in all the time that I've cooked these things up the wrong way, this has never happened to me.

I mean, if there's any sort of Zen in this world that I can understand and accept - it's that you only ever get one flavor packet with your ramen. You might want more, you might feel that you somehow need more... but you only ever get one.

Yet, here I am

    With two.

Friday, January 10


Last night the sky over my home was blue velvet. Dark, as the evening mistress always is; and yet bright enough to see towards the horizon. Thin sheets of lint-shaped clouds crawled along the surface of the heavy blue sky above me, like mist clinging to the ocean.

A three-quarter moon shone underneath, doing everything it could to push it's light through the cotton cloud covering. Even though I could not see it clearly, there was no mistaking how brilliant it's light was.

And then, for a moment, there was a small break - a tiny window in the sky. The moon broke through, and I could see it as clearly as I see you in my mind sometimes.

    It was very late.

Tuesday, January 7

Ferhad ile Sirin

A Turkish queen is asked to give up her beauty in return for the life of her sister. She accepts this price. Later, while on a trip to the city, the queen and her sister meet a talented and handsome painter named Ferhad. Dazzled by Ferhad's looks and hoping to win his affections, the queen appoints him to be the chief artist at her palace.

Ferhad however, falls madly in love with Sirin, the queen's sister. The queen is torn by her love for Ferhad and her jealousy towards her sibling. Alone in her madness, she considers: "Did I do well in forsaking my beauty?"

The persistence of this question gives rise to another: "Do I love my sister?" And then, "Have I ever loved anyone?"

In a rage, the queen orders Ferhad and Sirin to be captured by the palace guards. Both of them undergo torture. Agonized and on the verge of delirium, the queen makes an offer to Ferhad, "The city needs water, for the water in our wells is poisonous. If you want Sirin, go and drill a tunnel in Demirdagi, and bring water to our people."

Ferhad accepts. He toils for 11 years. One day Sirin comes to Demirdagi and says: "The queen has shown mercy. You may stop working, return to the city, and marry me." Ferhad hesitates. Then he declines. He tells her that he wants the city to have fresh water before anything else.

Sirin asks, "Is the city more important than me?"

To which Ferhad replies,

    "You are part of the city."

Thursday, January 2


    Tatoe ashita nakushite mo
    Anata o ushinatte mo
    Dekiru kagiri no egao de kagayakitai

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