Of course eventually you will look in, eventually you can't resist. You stop your world and open the window. You pull back the shades and see how it reflects back at you. You pour over the words you said and the look in her eyes. The colors paint the wall so thick that they bleed -- rolling down in lines you can trace with your fingertips, walking back the days of your darkness, seeing the eclipses you've caused.
It's no secret that I've always been one to over-analyze. To think through and freeze in time. It's also no big surprise when I find myself caught between the winds, unable to escape the very things that I wish to avoid the most.
At the same time, I think there is a value in the mirror. I think sometimes you have to read the paintings on the wall to see where you've been. In a lot of ways, that's what this place is for. I write here in reflection. Examining the footsteps and looking for clues as I try to discover the secrets that I haven't yet revealed to myself.
But that doesn't mean that I'm not living my life. That I'm not stepping forward and finding new light in each day. If the movie teaches you anything it's that sooner or later, one has to take sides. You can't just sit idly by and stay Michael Caine; but there are definite consequences that come if you try and become Brendan Frasier overnight."They say you come to Vietnam and understand a lot in a few minutes. The rest has got to be lived. They say whatever it was you were looking for, you will find here. They say there is a ghost in every house, and if you can make peace with him, he will stay quiet."-Graham Greene
You can't just ask for love and expect to get it.Maybe that's why so much of what I'm dealing with right now comes back to trying to find some sort of balance between the changes that I'm making and coming to terms with the mistakes that I've made.
Nor can you lie to love and ever hope to keep it.
Because I'm still making changes.
...and I'm still making mistakes.
[Listening to: Prince, "17 Days"]