Seven

The company I work for researches and develops specialized surgical tools and technology -- which means that it's a fairly common occurrence to see some pretty weird shit happening around the labs down on the first floor.

But when you get outside of that area, it's really just another office building. Cubicles, copy machines, framed college degrees on the walls, pictures of people's kids on their desks --
The kind of stuff you'd expect to find anywhere else in corporate America.
Which is why the other day when I was up in R&D trying to find some guy to sign off on one of my reports, I was completely unprepared for what I found staring back at me from a tabletop near one of the storage areas in the back.
It was one of those moments where I wasn't really sure what it was at first -- so I had to walk up on it to try and satisfy my own sense of curiosity but then I get a good look at the thing and then the next thing you know I'm having to catch myself to stop from shouting out loud in that unique sort of statement-that-gets-said-faster-and-in-a-rising-pitch-because-the-person-saying-the-words-is-only-just-starting-to-process-what-he's-seeing, and before you know it you're screaming like a little girl saying:
"Holy crap, I need some helprightnowbecausethere'sagoddamn HUMAN HEAD IN A BOX back here!!"
I had to catch myself because the people sitting closest to this table were probably the same ones who beheaded this poor sap. Telling them I've discovered their dirty secret would probably accomplish nothing more than putting me next on the list to get turned into a human pez dispenser.

I felt like every scene in every horror movie where the young starlet mistakenly wanders into the room filled with dismembered doll parts hanging off tiny strings near the windows. You know, shelves overflowing with mason jars filled with some sort of mystery brown liquid, and flies buzzing everywhere?

And of course I resisted the obvious common sense move of getting the hell off the killing floor and driving away as quickly as possible, deciding instead to do what all stupid white people do in horror movies -- Investigate the corpse.

Which is when I discovered (much to the relief of my completely freaked-out nerves) that this wasn't the head of the guy who worked my job before I was hired, but some sort of wacky CSI-mannequin medical research testing dummy head, discarded into a box after a hard day of having a series of our new prototype products jammed up his nose.
Unfortunately, as comforting as it was to find out that they weren't cutting off people's heads on the second floor, all of this new information only brought to light a new, possibly more disturbing question:
..Where's the rest of the mannequin?
[Listening to:  The Pixies"Velouria" ]

Comments

That's sweet. I wish I worked at a place where I occasionally found body parts!
Beth said…
That is frightening.

However, it keeps you on your toes at work. Which I assume is a little less boring with things like that around.
JerseySjov said…
did you check the surrounding boxes for further eerie body parts?
The Ex said…
I like that he has nostrils but not eyelids.
Jaeme said…
So that's where the heads go! I never noticed that mannequins don't have heads anymore until I walked through a department store with my toddler. "No heads mama, they have no heads, where's the HEADS ???!!!

And now I know the answer-- in boxes at Dan's work.
Werdna said…
Love that song Velouria.

Kind of obliquely apropos.
MsPuddin said…
ok i dont know what is weirder, the actual head or that you took the time to take a picture of it. lol
whatigotsofar said…
Long story short, the genitals are up a tree in Yorkshire.
Hex said…
[Cherry] -- I'm not against finding them, I just would like a little advanced warning first, you know?

Beth -- Yeah, but I feel like Inspector Clouseau sometimes, walking into strange rooms just Karate Chopping anything that moves.

JerseySov -- I probably should have. *lol*

Ex -- Eyelids are the new crow's feet. He botoxed those out.

Jaeme -- Personally I think a lot of mannequin manufacturers have seen that old movie with Kim Cattral, and are just trying to prevent future problems by beheading them all. Of course that also means the odds are better that the heads in the office wake up at night and sing Jefferson Starship songs when we're all gone -- which is even creepier, when you think about it.

Werdna -- The Pixies rock (as long as they aren't playing at The Moon).

Puddin -- I don't know, I was thinking of putting up a "Lost head" picture on telephone poles around town, see if I get any calls.

WIGSF -- I'll be sure to let him know.
The Nerdy Bird said…
Wow, that's horrendously creepy. I totally would have snagged it so I could leave it casually around my house for others to find. :
Hex said…
Nerdy -- In a strange way I'm sorta thinking that's what happened to me. I mean there were other places they could have put that box.

..bastards.
The Nerdy Bird said…
Haha, aww!