Great Googly Moogly

While there are some people out there who check out this website from time to time to see what's going on in my world, or to get the latest tale of how I crashed and burned wherever I was before I woke up fully dressed on top of my bed covers alone, it seems that the vast majority of the traffic I've been getting lately are from lost travelers on the information superhighway who have found my site while searching for something else.

I know this because of the little sitemeter widget that I keep towards the bottom corner of the page that catalogues all sorts of dirty little details about the visitors I get day to day. It's there to feed the narcissistic monkey inside of me, but there's a little added feature on there that's sometimes fun to check out that lists the referring links that bring people here.

Some visits are from obvious sources -- Frank Zappa fans searching for information about the 1979 album I named the blog after, or fans of British Buffy the Vampire Slayer rip-off Hex, searching for news about the show.

But lately when I've taken a peek at the sitemeter referrals page I've started to notice some really odd trends developing. For example -- just today someone happened across this page hoping it would give them information related to their Google search for "velvet dreams Kathy shower." And while I'm thinking that person probably went away disappointed as I have no idea what the hell that means -- hopefully they stuck around long enough to be entertained by something else I wrote about.
Recent search terms that have brought people to this site:
  • Trailer park mind eraser rat poison
  • Miss Honeywell in the locker room
  • Songs they play at Publix
  • Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle
  • Paint bedroom children sleep
  • Portabella apartment
  • This ain't like dusting crops boy
  • What Really Happens at Male Strip Shows
  • Fred Durst's Car Audio System
Of course there are some people who find exactly what they are looking for when they find me on Google, like the guy who clicked in recently to find out what flying squirrels sound like when they talk (actual Google keywords) -- a topic I actually happened to be discussing a while back. I've also been getting quite a lot of traffic lately from people interested in Bourbon Chicken/Mall Teriyaki Chicken -- with search terms ranging from "shitty mall food" to "authentic cajun flavored chicken teriyaki recipe delicious."

But by far the two most popular search items that bring in traffic around here are

This:
And these three cuties:
Keep in mind that I've been writing this blog for the better part of five years now -- which is a long time for people to be curious about Was (Not Was) lyrics. Don't get me wrong -- I love that song. It's just that I find it odd that after all this time the boys over at Google still think that I'm the authority on it.

As for the cheerleader hotties, I linked to that particular photo last summer when I decided to throw my hat into the ring as a candidate for the NFL commissioner's job. As it turns out, when you do a Google image search for terms like "Kick Terell Owens in The Nuts" one of the first pictures the algorithm chooses to return is this.

And while I would easily let the girl in the middle do just about anything she wanted to me -- You sorta can't help but wonder exactly what kind of person is on the other side of a mouse click that executes an image search for a boot to the chonies.
Not that the concept can't be entertaining on occasion,
but really -- how often does anyone really want to look at that?
[Listening to:    Mötley Crüe"Live Wire" ]

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